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I had a really tough time with my husband in the beginning (when I first decided this is the route I wanted to take). I remember going home from work and explaining to him about what this surgery was about, how much healthier it would make me and how I really needed to do this for ME. My husband is not overweight, he is gorgeous to be quite honest and he is my very best friend. But he was very insecure that if I lost the 60lbs I gained from the past 5 years we have been together (plus more) that I would be hit on a lot and eventually leave him. This was in January, my surgery was Oct 24th. It literally took him all of the 10 months for him to be supportive and on my side and realize that my weight has nothing to do with why I love him and I would love him just as much if I was think as I do when I am overweight. He is very supportive of me now and there cheering me on 100%. Praying your husband changes the way he thinks as well.

Thanks for your support and story!!


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I definitely understand! My partner has had some freak outs about this surgery. I've even posted about it. She is worried that I will want to find someone better or that I will cheat or just leave her once I lose all my weight. We've had several discussions now about it and I think her nerves are a little bit calmed down. I think they worry that because were changing and they are not that we are no longer going to want to be with them anymore. I've had to do a lot of reassuring. I have also had to explain that I am doing this for myself and for my health and to live a longer life with my partner. It has taken some time but she is now being much more supportive. If you ever want to talk I am always around!

It gets annoying to keep reassuring him that I won’t leave or blah blah,, get over it dude or try to be on the same journey I am,, he refuses surgery or even refuses to diet,, ok well I’m not dying at 40 because I’m 800 lbs,, I mean come on,,, I am a very confident plus size girl so when I lose weight I will be even more confident and yes I’m worried too but at least I’ll be healthy,, thanks for all of ur support!!


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Thanks everyone,, he’s a big guy so he’s scared of me getting thin and cheating blah blah,, I have reassured him but it’s not enough,, he doesn’t believe in the surgery so he doesn’t want it,, doesn’t believe in counseling so that’s out,,, next step divorce,, [emoji20]




Doesn't believe in counselling? Lol I know people like that. It wouldn't be getting thin that would make me leave someone like that. It's the lack of consideration for your feelings and if getting counseling will help your marriage and he can't even do that what is he prepared to do for you ? Good luck.

Sent from my Vivo 5R using BariatricPal mobile app

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I almost think he made me bigger if that makes sense,,, like always going to my fave places to eat etc,, I gained 60 lbs since I met him 5 years ago and I feel like he did it so I wouldn’t leave him,,, although I will miss my curves too, bye bye to them I say lol,, hope it gets better too because the stress of the surgery and him flipping is no fun,, thanks for sharing your story!



My ex made me bigger Everytime I wanted to lose weight he would cook food in more fat make the portions bigger out of 'love'.

Sent from my Vivo 5R using BariatricPal mobile app

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Doesn't believe in counselling? Lol I know people like that. It wouldn't be getting thin that would make me leave someone like that. It's the lack of consideration for your feelings and if getting counseling will help your marriage and he can't even do that what is he prepared to do for you ? Good luck.

Sent from my Vivo 5R using BariatricPal mobile app


Yes it’s frustrating! I’m just looking at my prize and if he’s not with me 100% then see ya!


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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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