Hey all,, anyone struggling with the fact that your spouse is not accepting?? My hubby is 300 lbs and doesn’t want the surgery,, now that mine is coming up in Jan , it’s been complete hell in my house,, jealously, controlling,mean,, any tips??

Dang.... why would someone be jealous of something they claim they don't want?? Counseling, maybe?

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He should be supportive... there is nothing better than looking out for your partners health... my wife is the one who did the research for surgery and somehow pushed me... she has always being supportive.. and there for me..

My husband is supportive, even though he needs this more than I do and doesn't want it.
I think maybe your husband has second thoughts and wants the surgery now that your going through it.

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I don't know you guys of course, but I know that a lot of times a big part of a relationship is being fat together. Not only will your eating habits totally change, your body will too. He might think that you won't be attracted to him anymore when you shrink, and he might miss the times you share together with food as the center point. He could be feeling negatively judged by you--not that you're doing that--but you're judging being obese as bad (since you're getting the surgery), and therefore he might feel like you think HE is bad now. He also may not want to deal with his own issues with weight, but feels like he has to now.

If it were me, I would reassure him that though your habits might change some you will still love him no matter what. Let him know that you doing this doesn't change your opinion of him, and he doesn't need to do anything differently. Sometimes they just need some reassurance and validation, being obese is such a mental game!

I had surgery in October last year and married a wonderful man February....then things changed. Snide comments about my size and things. He has gained about what I lost too. It's about their image and insecurities. Nothing to do with you as a person. It is hard but it can be worked through if he is willing.

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Thanks everyone,, he’s a big guy so he’s scared of me getting thin and cheating blah blah,, I have reassured him but it’s not enough,, he doesn’t believe in the surgery so he doesn’t want it,, doesn’t believe in counseling so that’s out,,, next step divorce,,

I’m sorry your going through this, when I first starting on the journey the first big topic we talked about was the change this process would put our relationship thru. I was so worried after reading many articles of people divorcing after Bariatric surgery. The two people whom are my family members that have had Bariatric surgery both got divorced. Two separate couples. Which is sad. Technically it’s not the surgery but the life style change that comes with it. Support from your spouse is going to be huge for you. I hope you guys can get help maybe see a therapist or something that can get u guys connected. I’m extremely thankful that my husband loves me regardless of my size but I know he is gonna miss my curves... I mean they will still be there just smaller[emoji6]

I’m sorry your going through this, when I first starting on the journey the first big topic we talked about was the change this process would put our relationship thru. I was so worried after reading many articles of people divorcing after Bariatric surgery. The two people whom are my family members that have had Bariatric surgery both got divorced. Two separate couples. Which is sad. Technically it’s not the surgery but the life style change that comes with it. Support from your spouse is going to be huge for you. I hope you guys can get help maybe see a therapist or something that can get u guys connected. I’m extremely thankful that my husband loves me regardless of my size but I know he is gonna miss my curves... I mean they will still be there just smaller[emoji6]

I almost think he made me bigger if that makes sense,,, like always going to my fave places to eat etc,, I gained 60 lbs since I met him 5 years ago and I feel like he did it so I wouldn’t leave him,,, although I will miss my curves too, bye bye to them I say lol,, hope it gets better too because the stress of the surgery and him flipping is no fun,, thanks for sharing your story!

On ‎11‎/‎19‎/‎2017 at 5:51 PM, biggirlc said:

Hey all,, anyone struggling with the fact that your spouse is not accepting?? My hubby is 300 lbs and doesn’t want the surgery,, now that mine is coming up in Jan , it’s been complete hell in my house,, jealously, controlling,mean,, any tips??

My son is giving me a hard time. He doesn't like the idea of surgery. He thinks a goo work out and changing eating habits. But I explained to him I have been overweight my whole life and I have tried every diet known to man!

My son is giving me a hard time. He doesn't like the idea of surgery. He thinks a goo work out and changing eating habits. But I explained to him I have been overweight my whole life and I have tried every diet known to man!

Yes that’s how mine is,, diet and exercise,,, well I’ve been doing that for 20 years and it’s not working,,, I just have decide to follow my dream and block him out and if my future is with him then he will support me, if not, bye bye

iktr! I'm sure as long as I succeed my son will understand

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Well it has been said that spouses or family members may be jealous of the new you. You haven't had it yet and yours is already showing the signs. If he doesn't want to better his health,that is on him but as your partner in life he should be supporting you. You have to do what you can for your health. Hopefully he will come around.

I had a really tough time with my husband in the beginning (when I first decided this is the route I wanted to take). I remember going home from work and explaining to him about what this surgery was about, how much healthier it would make me and how I really needed to do this for ME. My husband is not overweight, he is gorgeous to be quite honest and he is my very best friend. But he was very insecure that if I lost the 60lbs I gained from the past 5 years we have been together (plus more) that I would be hit on a lot and eventually leave him. This was in January, my surgery was Oct 24th. It literally took him all of the 10 months for him to be supportive and on my side and realize that my weight has nothing to do with why I love him and I would love him just as much if I was think as I do when I am overweight. He is very supportive of me now and there cheering me on 100%. Praying your husband changes the way he thinks as well.

I definitely understand! My partner has had some freak outs about this surgery. I've even posted about it. She is worried that I will want to find someone better or that I will cheat or just leave her once I lose all my weight. We've had several discussions now about it and I think her nerves are a little bit calmed down. I think they worry that because were changing and they are not that we are no longer going to want to be with them anymore. I've had to do a lot of reassuring. I have also had to explain that I am doing this for myself and for my health and to live a longer life with my partner. It has taken some time but she is now being much more supportive. If you ever want to talk I am always around!

I had a really tough time with my husband in the beginning (when I first decided this is the route I wanted to take). I remember going home from work and explaining to him about what this surgery was about, how much healthier it would make me and how I really needed to do this for ME. My husband is not overweight, he is gorgeous to be quite honest and he is my very best friend. But he was very insecure that if I lost the 60lbs I gained from the past 5 years we have been together (plus more) that I would be hit on a lot and eventually leave him. This was in January, my surgery was Oct 24th. It literally took him all of the 10 months for him to be supportive and on my side and realize that my weight has nothing to do with why I love him and I would love him just as much if I was think as I do when I am overweight. He is very supportive of me now and there cheering me on 100%. Praying your husband changes the way he thinks as well.

Thanks for your support and story!!