Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

First Time Going To Family Gathering



Recommended Posts

Today I went to a restaurant to Celebrate the birthday of a family member . I didnt think I was ready for a meal in a restaurant and I was right. I nibbled on a salad and a small piece of egg plant rolotini appetizer . I was stuffed and had a difficult time making excuses for my lack of appetite.(I didnt let anyone know about my WLS). Also, I felt out of place since I didnt eat anything. No one made me feel this way, I just felt it. In my past posts I've said me and food had a great relationship and now its gone. In my monthly group sessions we discussed eating out and how it will change so it wasnt a complete surprise. Since my surgery I have been very regimented with my diet. Getting in my Proteins and liquids. Going to the restaurant took me out of my comfort zone. At the restaurant a family member invited me to dinner this Friday. I made an excuse to avoid the dinner. Im sure in time it will get better but for now my heart isnt into eating out right now. Especially in a large family setting. You guys who went through WLS, any thoughts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have this same problem. I went to lunch with friends this weekend during a conference. I had just gotten a Starbucks (skinny, skim milk, so yes it has calories but also protein). Anyways, while they are I just had my drink. They were asking me if I wanted their sushi and I just said, no, I'll just have my Starbucks. I tell people I eat 6 smaller meals per day, including nuts and Protein bars/shakes and that I'm following a pretty strict food plan.

I prefer to eat at home where I have total control. It's strange that the social piece changes after this surgery. I'm sure we will figure it out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Eating out gets easier and I would say now more than ever I feel normal in social situations. My husband and I have two monthly dinner dates with two groups of friends and I would say that I enjoy it now more than I did before. Now I can eat casually, talk and catch up and always have leftovers to take home like my friends do. I have noticed that if you move your food around your plate a lot, nobody notices your eating so little. I'm 10 months post op and my friends have no idea I had surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Eating out gets easier and I would say now more than ever I feel normal in social situations. My husband and I have two monthly dinner dates with two groups of friends and I would say that I enjoy it now more than I did before. Now I can eat casually, talk and catch up and always have leftovers to take home like my friends do. I have noticed that if you move your food around your plate a lot, nobody notices your eating so little. I'm 10 months post op and my friends have no idea I had surgery.

Great tip! Im meeting a friend next week and was worried


5' 5"
HW: 259
CW: 235
GOAL: Healthy and hard 140-ish?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Danny Paul you're just starting out - so that makes it a little tougher. I didn't tell my family (other than my hubby and two teen daughters) and six weeks after surgery we had to bury my mother. Large, week long Italian New York funeral - lots of food. I nibbled, pushed things around on my plate and talked with my cousins, a lot. No one noticed how little I had eaten. Everyone mentioned how good I looked. (I was probably down 30-40 pounds from the last time they had seen me.) Most of them probably won't recognize me now down more than 100 pounds.

I eat out often - in both my business and volunteer role as the president of a non-profit. I take my leftovers home. I order a small salad to start and sometimes order an appetizer as my entree and just fib that "I had a big, late lunch". We are far more aware than anyone else is of what is or isn't on our plate. You've got this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am almost three months out. This past weekend was my first real test - I had to have a family dinner with all my in-laws (who do not and will not know about my surgery). And they picked a nice Mexican restaurant! I ordered a drink because if I didn’t everyone would ask why. My husband helped me sip on it. We then split a meal. Funny thing is most normal size people split meals all the time and no one thinks anything about it! He ate the lion’s share and I had the grilled shrimp. No one noticed. I have also eaten at several work lunch meetings. Funny thing is that no one pays attention to how much I eat! I thought for sure someone would say something but it has never happened. Go out. Enjoy life. If someone does ask, just fib and tell them you had a big lunch.


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×