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I'm not sure what's wrong with me



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Hello August sleevers... I've posted on here a few times always complaining about something. They were relavent complaints but I find myself now not knowing what exactly is wrong with me. Just some background info... I turned 30 this Aug. and I feel like I've always had an excuse for not losing weight. This wasn't right or my family this my husband that....basically my circumstances and environment made losing weight difficult. What I've realized is the circumstances will never be "right" for me to lose weight. There will always be issues especially with having 2 children and working full time. How i actually handle these situations is what determines my success I feel.It's been 2 months since I had my sleeve. Started out at 286 and now sitting around 257 for 2 weeks. So about 29 pound loss. The issue I am dealing with now is eating the wrong foods. And I have come to realize I have anxiety issues and emotional issues with food. The emotional aspect I always knew I had but the anxiety realization is new. I'm not sure what to do. No I KNOWwhat I need to do.. I need to pick up the phone and make an appointment with my psychologist. So since I know what I need to do why don't I do it? Why ignore this need for support and help and keep doing the things I'm not supposed to? What's wrong with me??

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It's really hard and frustrating when you know what the problem is and you can't seem to do anything about it. We have all been there. I have been seeing a psychologist since I decided to follow this path as I knew the surgery was only part of the puzzle. Obviously I had an unhealthy relationship with food to get to this point.

Your delay is partly because you are scared of what she/he will say. And you know that you are sabotaging yourself. This makes it all the more important to ring...... I'm not going to psychoanalyse you on the basis of one post, but honey, you are the only one who can pick up the phone. Why would you put yourself through this and then not do everything you can to make it work??? I know how it feels to look at foods that were once your lifeline and struggle with thinking "I may never eat you again" but trust me, a good psychologist will work through this with you. If you are not seeing a dietician regularly, may I also suggest you do.

Good luck hon, you can do this

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Hello August sleevers... I've posted on here a few times always complaining about something. They were relavent complaints but I find myself now not knowing what exactly is wrong with me. Just some background info... I turned 30 this Aug. and I feel like I've always had an excuse for not losing weight. This wasn't right or my family this my husband that....basically my circumstances and environment made losing weight difficult. What I've realized is the circumstances will never be "right" for me to lose weight. There will always be issues especially with having 2 children and working full time. How i actually handle these situations is what determines my success I feel.It's been 2 months since I had my sleeve. Started out at 286 and now sitting around 257 for 2 weeks. So about 29 pound loss. The issue I am dealing with now is eating the wrong foods. And I have come to realize I have anxiety issues and emotional issues with food. The emotional aspect I always knew I had but the anxiety realization is new. I'm not sure what to do. No I KNOWwhat I need to do.. I need to pick up the phone and make an appointment with my psychologist. So since I know what I need to do why don't I do it? Why ignore this need for support and help and keep doing the things I'm not supposed to? What's wrong with me??
Sent from my SM-N910C using BariatricPal mobile app


There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s sounds like you’re not connected to what’s right in you. Did you ever think of individual or group therapy or OA meetings? Or maybe start a healthy eating cooking group. Keep seeking an answer and you will succeed. Thank you for your honesty. It’s rear and appreciated. We all need to hear you and support each other.


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I suspect, based on a lot of what you said, that you don't believe simply sitting there and talking will make that much of a difference. So why carve a chunk of time and effort out of your day to do it.

Anxiety is EXHAUSTING, and you have no energy because of it. You will pick up the phone because you are going to see if meds might help. Medication, combined with therapy, might be just the leg-up you need.

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I will agree with what @Berry78 said. Complacency is sometimes a symptom of low level depression. And as a parent and wife you are a caretaker, and we sometimes neglect our own needs and feel guilty asking for more or examining our own issues - 'I have to make dinner, I have to drive kids to sports and I don't have time to relax, or even think about myself.'

I take wellbutrin and it has made a huge difference, it has few side effects and litlle to no withdrawal if you want to stop them.

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It's really hard and frustrating when you know what the problem is and you can't seem to do anything about it. We have all been there. I have been seeing a psychologist since I decided to follow this path as I knew the surgery was only part of the puzzle. Obviously I had an unhealthy relationship with food to get to this point.
Your delay is partly because you are scared of what she/he will say. And you know that you are sabotaging yourself. This makes it all the more important to ring...... I'm not going to psychoanalyse you on the basis of one post, but honey, you are the only one who can pick up the phone. Why would you put yourself through this and then not do everything you can to make it work??? I know how it feels to look at foods that were once your lifeline and struggle with thinking "I may never eat you again" but trust me, a good psychologist will work through this with you. If you are not seeing a dietician regularly, may I also suggest you do.
Good luck hon, you can do this


Thank you so much for your response. Honestly everything you said hit home and I really appreciate your input. I'm the type of person who doesn't reach out for help and tries to do things on their own. I'm just at a loss and I needed someone to tell me to not fu** things up for myself. I feel like I'm headed downhill and I have no brakes to stop and fix the problem... at least that's how it feels in my head. I realize now that I do have a problem and I am going to make time tommorow and call my surgeons office and explain what I'm going through and get a referral to a therapist. I don't want to fail. I'm saying this with tears in my eyes. I reeeally don't want to fail. Again thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. God bless you.

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There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s sounds like you’re not connected to what’s right in you. Did you ever think of individual or group therapy or OA meetings? Or maybe start a healthy eating cooking group. Keep seeking an answer and you will succeed. Thank you for your honesty. It’s rear and appreciated. We all need to hear you and support each other.



Thank you for that perspective and I do believe your right. I always focus on what's wrong more then what is right. I've thought of all those things it's just my anxiety and fear is keeping me rooted to one spot and I don't understand why. I hope I can get past this soon. I agree we should support eachother more. In my case I need to reach out more. I appreciate your comments and words of encouragement. Thank you!

Sent from my SM-N910C using BariatricPal mobile app

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I suspect, based on a lot of what you said, that you don't believe simply sitting there and talking will make that much of a difference. So why carve a chunk of time and effort out of your day to do it.
Anxiety is EXHAUSTING, and you have no energy because of it. You will pick up the phone because you are going to see if meds might help. Medication, combined with therapy, might be just the leg-up you need.

Sounds about right.. it is exhausting but I am just now realizing that what I do have is anxiety and fear. Of what? I don't know. I will definetly make that phone call. I need to push through this wall of fear and uncertainty. I am certain of one thing however... if I don't get in control of my bad habits I will surely fail and this terrifies me more then anything!

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I will agree with what [mention=311272]Berry78[/mention] said. Complacency is sometimes a symptom of low level depression. And as a parent and wife you are a caretaker, and we sometimes neglect our own needs and feel guilty asking for more or examining our own issues - 'I have to make dinner, I have to drive kids to sports and I don't have time to relax, or even think about myself.'
I take wellbutrin and it has made a huge difference, it has few side effects and litlle to no withdrawal if you want to stop them.

Thank you so much for the suggestion. I am ready to try new things to help me succeed. This surgery is not enough. I need to fix what's wrong in my head as well. That's awesome that you have felt a difference and I'm hoping once I get the right help I will feel better as well. And you are right being a caretaker always makes a person put themselves on the back burner and tries to fix everyone's else's problems. I alredy took the first step to take care of myself and that's having this surgery. I need to complete the task and MOVE ON.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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