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Feeling sad after surgery...



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I was like you and didn't really want to say much about it but I ended up telling my very judgmental grandmother about it and she was surprisingly supportive. She even few with me to Dallas to have the surgery done despite her fear of flying. You don't know what people's reactions are going to be until you tell them and honestly I could not have done this alone. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for because I could not have done what you have done alone. Maybe just start by telling one person a close friend or family member it's always good to have someone to talk to and vent to that's not on the internet of course lol. It's tough I'm two weeks post op and woke up in pain this morning after not having pain for over a week. There are good days and bad days but your body is going through a lot right now and so are you. So just stay positive and take it easy follow the doctors orders and when in doubt call your surgeons office. Good luck sweetie [emoji4]


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Thank you! I know if so told my daughter now she would be so upset that I didn't tell her sooner, even though I knew what aid be hearing had so told her earlier. Most people at work, forget it, they are too nosey, and very judgemental. They don't need to know my business anyway. Maybe some day I will share it with someone close to me. Maybe even my family. But I just can't right now. I've learned to be a very independent person since my divorce, so I know I can handle this too. Thank you for your kind words!

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I've told some people but I also live alone. I'm about 2.5 weeks post-op and feel fine as far as the incisions and so on, but my energy level is still really low. I'm assuming this is, in part, because I've not done much exercise--I have knee issues, too, so walking is more agony than anything else. I'm just trusting in time it will all work out--as I am losing weight. It's also tough that those sweet Protein Shakes are such a big part of our diet initially--ugh, ready for real food mentally/emotionally if not physically.

Hang in there. It will get better!

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Thank you for your comment! I agree with everything you said! So hard getting the Protein Shakes down right now. Living alone is difficult. My latest difficulty has been trying to put on these leg squeezing things. Hard to put them on when I have pain in my incision when I bend forward. And the leg things aren't working right either, so trying to put them on and off has been a chore. I am looking forward to having some regular food. And these commercials on tv are killing me! Grrr....

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This was a huge step, I'm sorry you are physically alone. I told my family by choice because I trust them. My family of origin live in another state and I have not seen them for over 20 years. My mother is 76 and still talks about needing to lose weight. I did not want that for me. I had surgery 8/10/17 and I'm still struggling with shakes and Water intake. This is hard but people are here to listen and support. Everyday it gets better.

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Yes, like so commented in the last post, the afternoon is better than the morning. Putting an ice pack on my largest incision has helped tremendously with the pain! Also the pain Patches help a lot too. The pain medicine Tylenol with codine does nothing for me, unfortunately. You just figure out how to get through. Everyone tells me days 3-6 are the worse. So I'm looking foreword to better days. At least my knees aren't hurting as much! :)

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I haven't read the comments, but I am sure many will be the same as mine.

I felt the same way! Crying, regret...pain. I promise it will get better. The first 10 days were really hard for me. It passed. I'm only 23 days out and feel a lot better emotionally. I still can't drive around town and pass a restaurant without missing it, so I don't drive around! It just makes me feel bad. Think of all the reasons you did this. Think of all the positive change coming your way. And doing it alone....wow! Find a support group, that will help too.

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How are you feeling now ? You are not alone is a lot of us going through the same NoW !!!! Ask if you have questions and have your Surgeon number ready just in case of any questions !!! Believe me you will feel better 2 weeks out I'm 2 weeks out not 100% great but everyday better 💪

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Thank you all so much! I am already feeling better! Going out to eat with friends and to the movies (with popcorn) was my social life. So, that's been on hold for the next couple of months, and when I go out I know it will be different, but I'm ready for it! I do feel better, and go back to work tomorrow... Hopefully, will be a good experience! Thanks again y'all! :)


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I live in NY. My son lives in Alaska. I told him nothing about my surgery, that was in July. He has to come on Christmas. It's gonna be surprise for him. His mother not going to be a fat woman anymore! Can't wait to see his reaction! Don't cry. I promise, you will be happy very soon, when you see another person in a mirror in a month!

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Great to hear that you're feeling better! [emoji3]


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I'm also feeling extreme down ATM I don't miss food one bit, but I miss that weekend catch up and drinks, I am about to hit my month since surgery on Tuesday and I have not lost one single kilo in 3 weeks I feel as though I've made the wrong decision at this point, something is wrong


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I'm 4 days post op and sitting here crying as I write this. I'm doing this all alone, no one knows I've done this, not even my immediate family. They all live out of town or in different states. All they know is that I had the hiatal hernia repair. I have struggled with my weight since I was a kid. I had thought about doing this surgery for years, but didn't want the negative feedback from people (including family) who don't understand, plus I was kind of scared to do it. But I finally decided to do it and now have fears that something will go wrong. I was also starting to have medical issues and lots of knee pain making it very difficult to get around, which was my final decision to do this. I live alone with my small dog. I don't feel good today, have trouble getting my shakes down without them going right through me. I just want this whole process to run smoothly and feel good again. Anyone in the same boat I am?
Thanks!


Today is my fourth day post op. This was the first time I felt super sad and alone. I admire you for taking the step to go it alone and do what you need to do for yourself. I hope that you are blessed to find family and friends supportive as you begin to share your decision with them. You are stronger than you know. You've got this. As the highs and lows come, seek opportunities to vent your emotions and be comforted by the supportiveness of others who know where you have been, where you are, and where you are headed!


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I would add to the above good advice, it's essential to attend the support group meetings. Most of them are monthly, but where ever you live may offer them at various locations. I had the Lapband revision with Gastric bypass 12 days out. I know from experience when I had the band several years ago, the support group meeting was invaluable! If/when you do share with loved ones, start by letting them know your difficult decision was for your health. Chin up! The mixed emotions are to be expected in the beginning.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using BariatricPal mobile app

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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