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I'm hiding my surgery from family anyone else ?



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I am not telling my family either. My wife knows but no one else. Really not in the mood for well-intentioned yet ill informed advice from the family. Even if the flip side is correct and they full support me 100%, I dont want it to be a constant topic of conversation. Other people thrive on support from family and friends and that was works for them. But for me, this forum and my wife is all the support I want.

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Me three! My mum and husband know that's it. And my mum knows because she's coming with me to be my nurse [emoji57]


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Yup! From my family only my mom and husband know. Dad, his family, stepmom and her family are too judgmental in life for me to care about their opinions to begin with so yeah, keeping it from them is the best choice in my life. Thankfully I have a handful of very supportive friends who back me up 100% as well, so family support is not really missed 🤣🤣

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24 minutes ago, mzsantiago88 said:

I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?

I'm telling most family, a few selected friends and just two trusted colleagues.

There has been discussion amongst friends and workmates and, inevitably, many people including some long-term fat/obese people who go on about 'cheating'.

I don't want their negativity and 5h1t. Surgery is my considered choice after over 20 years of losing every dieting battle (about which I used to feel too much shame).

We are, after all, fighting fast food, advertising, mass-produced high-sugar, low-nutrient cr@p and I was too slow off the mark.

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24 minutes ago, Killian said:

I am not telling my family either. My wife knows but no one else. Really not in the mood for well-intentioned yet ill informed advice.

I understand. So much negativity from random commentators that it's better to choose carefully who to tell. (I have replied to others here if you wish to read my 'fine print'.)

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When I was a child my family used to ridicule me because I was over weight so it's a very uncomfortable topic I don't feel the need to discuss it with them and I wanted to see if I was alone





You're Definitely not alone! Best of lucky to you [emoji171]


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24 minutes ago, Angie's_Ocean said:

And my mum knows because she's coming with me to be my nurse

I have someone to drop me off for the surgery on the Thursday and my wife will bring me home on the Saturday afternoon or before noon on the Sunday.

I don't want a procession of dumbstruck hospital visitors.

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I understand. So much negativity from random commentators that it's better to choose carefully who to tell. (I have replied to others here if you wish to read my 'fine print'.)

I found by NOT adding paragraphs, the Bariatric Pal App wont change the font to small. Kinda wierd.

Skinny is coming.

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36 minutes ago, mzsantiago88 said:

I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?

I my husband and children know and one close friend who has had the sleeve. As a matter of fact I just went through this big ordeal of how to hide the surgery over the holidays. I just don't want to listen to it. Once I have to come out and tell them that I did something I will. I have already decided I will let them all know that it was a personal decision and it was hard enough making the decision without having to hear everyone's opinions and horror stories.

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17 minutes ago, dh2292 said:

Thankfully I have a handful of very supportive friends

They are the real "rusted on" friends who back you whatever you do/decide.

The other sort of people are mere acquaintances or passers-by in your life, not true friends.

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Just now, mzsantiago88 said:

My biggest worry is having the surgery so close to holidays everyone is going to wonder why I'm not eating it's one of my biggest fears - sigh

Are you having a hiatal hernia repair too? I am and the recovery eating is the same as our food plan. So my thoughts are I will still be on puree at Thanksgiving (and smaller which can be explained by not being able to eat solids since my hernia surgery). Then come Christmas I can say that I am eating smaller portions because it still bothers me and I want to keep the weight that I loss off from the surgery. It is a shame I plotted it out this far....... I just don;t want to ruin Christmas!!! lol

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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