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I'm hiding my surgery from family anyone else ?



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5 hours ago, LetsDoThis! said:

Who don't you have Thanksgiving?

The local indigenous people were considered vermin by the British military and the transported convicts.

Unlike the white New Zealanders, we subjugated the indigenous people and usurped their traditional lands and never made a treaty. From 1770 to 1967, we considered all Aboriginal Australians non-human. A referendum in 1967 conferred the right of indigenous to be counted in the Census(es) every five years from 1971-on.

In NZ, a Treaty in the 1920s established shared rights that the whites/British/Europeans could stay on with the blessing of the Maoris/Polynesians/NZ-indigenous.

No Thanksgiving here in Australia as the poor black/brown Australians have nothing to give thanks for. A near-genocide took place here and resistors were shot and/or hung from trees and/or drowned.

White Australians have a VERY black history here totalling 229-247 years.

Scratch most white Australians and you will find a deep vein of active or dormant racism.

Edited by Rainbow_Warrior

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I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?


I told my family. Most of my family is overweight and has diabetes. I told them to tell them they have a choice to make their lives healthier. They all told me how much better and healthier I look. They really don't want to make the change and give up their love for food and alcohol. That is their choice. I have done this for me. I want to live a healthier lifestyle to me a role model for my two children. My daughter is 26 and my son is 20. They are so very proud of me. I guess it depends. I have always had a huge family and we have always gotten along well and loved each other. I thank god for my moms support as well. I just wish my dad would get the surgery. But he won't make the lifestyle change. I am so glad I have made that change.


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I haven't told anyone but the co-worker that took me to the hospital. I have been going to weight watchers since Jan ~ It's amazing how NO ONE has had a negative thing to say... when I had the lap band back in 2008 it was constant justification of why I had surgery~ no regrets and down 80 lbs since April...


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I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?



Ive only told 3 of my sisters n mother. My mother only bc i will need her help post op..im recently divorced mother of 4. She will comment but she means well amd my sister help when she goes overboard. My sisters will be the ones to remind me why i had the surgery when im post op thinking i made a mistake and cant tolerate only liquads anymore. They are my rock. I didnt tell my brothers..as they would tell their wives and then their wives would tell their famies and so on. Only one of my sisters i didnt tell..although she would be supportive ..she would still have comments i just dont want to jear and she would tell her teenage duaghters n they would talk freely abt it to their friends...which go to the school i work at. I havent told any of my friends. I feel a support group is needed but at the same time many ppl dicredit the wieghtloss when surgery is used to help. This isnt the easy way out. We put our lives at risk when going under the knife bc we want to be healthier and nothing we have tried has helped.it is hard emotionally and mentally. And ur entire eating habits change. The surgey doesnt do that for u. U have to put the effort and resillience. Its sad that so many ppl have so much negative things to say abr something that has produced good results for ppl that have been suffering for so long. i guess the saying is true " they want to see you do good, just not better than them"
Im still in the process of bieng approced for vsg.
Good luck to u

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I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?


I did the same thing. I had surgery 7 months before they saw me


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I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?


My family knows, but my in-laws do not. I don't want to hear it. I only need positivity from now on.

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I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?



I only told my mom, bf, and significant other.... And I'm regretting telling my mother; honestly.

Less than 24 hours; I am nervous, determined, inspired, and hungry!!
HW 251 CW 236 GW 160

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I have only told my immediate family & 3 friends. When I feel like I want to share it w/others I will but until then, this is a decision I made myself, for myself & I don't have to share with anyone if I don't want too but I felt like sharing with a few. Your not alone :-)

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I'm not telling any of my family about my surgery either. One of my sisters is going with me and is having her surgery the same day I am; other than that, no I'm not telling anybody. If they ask, I'm not going to lie to them but I don't feel I need to tell them.

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I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?


Absolutely not! This is not something you should be embarrassed about, the surgery is just a tool to help you out you should take pride in yourself that you're doing whatever it takes to improve your health. If "people" have an issue with that that's their problem... Here's my favorite quote from Dr. Seuss
Be who you are and say what you feel, Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind! [emoji4]

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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