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Has your sex life changed since getting the band?



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So I must be the only one who's sex life is worse... the BF wants it just as much, sadly, I don't want to. :)

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argon,

NO..... me too! I don't know why, but mine is worse. I have totally lost my desire! It's frustrating!

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YAY! Finally found the thread I've been looking for. Okay, some have improved libido, some have decreased libido, and for some the libido hasn't changed, but what about the pure mechanics??

Does the port cramp your style? I've read so many posts about ports pulling or finding it hard to bend over months after surgery, that I am getting quite worried about limitations that it might impose upon positions.

For a fattie, I'm pretty limber and given my two greatest pleasures in life are food and sex, if I'm gonna give up the food part, I had d*mn well better not lose the sex part in the process!!

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My port does give me problems during certain positions with sex, but it just takes some maneuvering or tolerance. Think of it being a lil kinky, now you get pain with the pleasure :(

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I have the desire, sadly no bf right now. I think that may change now that i look better and feel better about myself. I made no attempt to meet anyone when i was 237. I did not feel sexy or good about me. Things are looking a lot better now. Donna

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My husband has always enjoyed feeling my hipbones, but when I am heavier, he obviously couldn't. I am enjoying the subtle indications that he is enjoying by the lingering of the hands. He is obviously not conscious of it, I've tried to discuss it, but it is obvious.

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I am losing some weight with my pre-op plan, and I have seen a definite increase in the desire/want. Doing things TO my BF more than wanting it myself. Is that normal when losing weight? I am driving him crazy.

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I'm looking forward to the better sex too! I've been separated from my husband for a year now, but can't get motivated to find someone to be with. Always have had a high sex drive. Looking forward to the new me (getting banded on the 27th).

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sex life = AMAZING!! I have always been overtly sexual anyway but now more than ever...I've lost 40 lbs and can defiantley tell a difference..can't wait to lose more and see how that goes. Port didn't give me any probelms in any postition and my man is loving every minute just like always!!! :thumbdown:

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The sex drive is very complicated. Certainly anyone who has been placed on the newer antidepressants is likely to experience a big change in their sex drive. This is the side effect which manufacturers warn users about. On the other hand, such emotional factors as depression and stress will also serve to distort the sexual response.

But there are other factors at play as well. The truth is that many of us do not feel the same intensity of sexual passion once this passion becomes domesticated. Crazed sexual passion and deep marital love are certainly not the same thing.

The initial experience of love does act much in the same way as a drug. We all know how those first weeks of passion work, don't we? We all know how we can stay up all night, night after night, and still be able to continue functioning in our day gigs during that initial crazed phase.

When we are lucky our relationships with our love objects are able to survive that shift from crazed sex weasel lust to the next step, the one where the emotional ties continue to deepen even though the sex-crazed weasel days now are over. Some people choose to deal with the loss of this thrill, this sense of crazy passion, by continuing to engage in affairs or promiscuity.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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