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If you gained weight back, How did it happen?



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I am not post op yet, but from my limited time on this board, this issue seems to come up quite a lot. It has me pretty nervous about going forward. Quite simply, putting myself at risk to only gain back the weight in two years, if that makes sense. Can people explain to me what is happening? From what I have read, restriction still exists, food amounts are less, but a significant about a weight returns for a number of people. For my FYI, looking at what to avoid can people share what they were doing to gain the weight back?

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Although I have not regained any of my lost weight, I can answer this question.

Here's a hint...regaining weight is never really about the food itself. Many people undergo weight loss surgery without resolving pre-existing psychological issues.

Many bariatric patients are emotional eaters who have always used food to cope with stress, grief, boredom, joy, pain, and life itself. They lose massive weight after surgery, but regain once the next crisis occurs such as a death, job loss or divorce since they self-soothe with food.

Many bariatric surgery patients are hardcore food addicts. They lose significant weight after surgery, but regain once they add addictive trigger foods back into their diets.

Many bariatric surgery patients have undiagnosed binge eating disorder. They lose significant weight after surgery, but regain once they start binge-eating again.

Many bariatric surgery patients experienced childhood trauma such as growing up around domestic violence, alcoholic patients, or drug-addicted parents. A large number of obese people (especially females) were sexually abused in childhood.

Those with adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) often drown out the bad memories of their upbringings with comfort food. They lose significant weight after surgery, but regain once they revert back to food to deal with the uncomfortable memories and flashbacks.

So when someone posts she's regained all her weight after experiencing some emotionally traumatic event, she often asks about getting "back on track" to lose the regain. What she really needs is counseling to adopt healthy coping techniques that don't revolve around the comfort of food.

Success with weight loss maintenance after surgery is 90 percent psychological. Those who fail to address underlying issues will continue the regain/loss cycle.

After all, it's never really about the food. Regaining is a symptom of a deeper problem.

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I'm 7 years out. I had one period of small regain - 8 pounds, after my dad died and while I was suffering postpartum depression. It was solely due to poor eating habits.

Regain is due to not overcoming the initial causes of our obesity. Eating around the sleeve. Yes, injury, illness or medication can be responsible - I don't want to rule that out. But most often, when you see regain, it's slider foods, not eating by the hierarchy so you feel full faster and you eat more, and just plain eating crap. Binges and grazing, emotional or mindless eating - if you don't fix this, you don't get long term success. Period. It becomes a struggle to stay at goal.

I fought hard for my new habits. I think every time I put food in my mouth. My diet is carefully selected to be balanced and nutritious; I avoid binges, I don't graze. With this, I maintain successfully and have for years now.

I had therapy. I firmly believe that many of us need to deal with what's under the fat and causing us to overeat in order to achieve this level of success and to stop looking at food for solace.

Cheri

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Thank you for the explanation. I'm doing my homework on this to be prepared. I've been having this conversation with my husband. He's one of those people, he likes food, but it's totally a fuel thing for him. He eats because he has to. I freely admit I have an issue with using food to soothe my emotions. This has been much more in the past 5 years. Confessing this and seeing that I must address the deeper issues. Yes, I'm one of those people that has baggage as mentioned and I can see this. I already told him we may have the expense of a therapist because I can't do the "obese" thing anymore.

Edited by Lovergurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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