Frustrated and Need Help

[LisaCan do this 8]

I had my gastric sleeve surgery back in October 2014 and lost 114 pounds however this past year I have gained 40 pounds back. I can't seem to get my mind back in the game. I'm hoping I didn't ruin the sleeve and my stomach is not back to normal. I know it is emotional between my father getting sick and dying 6 months later, my oldest son graduating from HS and hoping he does well in college and just all the day to day worries and struggles. There are times I just don't care but then I say to myself you are getting more and more disgusted with yourself everyday. I try to tell myself that my dad wouldn't want me to let myself go back to the way I was, when I worked so hard to get where I was but it only works a little while. Does anyone have any advice on how to get back on the right road. I really am ashamed that I have fallen so far off the weight loss journey. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[James Marusek 5,244]

According to my nutritionist after you enter the Maintenance phase, your meals should consist of equal parts of Protein, fats and carbs but always put protein first. Fats are important because they help to control hunger.

It is common to have some limited weight gain after weight loss surgery. They call it a 20 pound bounce. The important thing is not let go beyond this 20 pounds. Most times this weight gain is due to a poor choice of Snacks. Snacks should be limited to primarily to whole food options: nuts, natural nut butters, fruits, veggies, boiled eggs, string cheese, yogurt with berries and almonds, tuna pouches. Avoid processed packaged foods as much as possible.

Also do not expect to lose weight at a rate similar to right after surgery. Generally if you gained the additional weight over a couple years, then it may take a couple years of watching what you eat to get back down.

[blizair09 3,250]

I'd suggest that you get your diet centered on lean Protein, get your calories around 1200-1400 per day, get your carbs below 25 grams per day, get your protein around 100 grams per day, and get your Water consumption around 100 oz per day. I'd also suggest that you start tracking everything you eat and drink every day, and commit to exercise 5 days per week. Basically, get back to basics. It always works!

[Introversion 1,876]

7 hours ago, LisaCan do this said:

Does anyone have any advice on how to get back on the right road.

My advice will go against the general grain, but I suggest counseling...

Here's why. You can lose the weight you regained. However, if you continue to use food as a crutch in times of emotional upheaval, you'll simply regain the weight you lost once again.

You already know how to lose weight. Nonetheless, keeping it off is the elusive part. Your head must be in the game to keep it off for life, and maybe counseling can help you develop coping skills that don't involve the comfort of food.

Good luck to you. You've got this.

[voluminousdoofus 5]

I'm seconding Introversion's thought process here: it's not so much the food as the way you react to it that's the problem. Fixing that will help more than anything, and make it easier for you to stick to the basics again.

Best of luck!

[RSM 69]

3 hours ago, voluminousdoofus said:

I'm seconding Introversion's thought process here: it's not so much the food as the way you react to it that's the problem. Fixing that will help more than anything, and make it easier for you to stick to the basics again.

Best of luck!

I agree with the 2 above. Get some counseling,,,,,,,,,,,,to help you get back into touch with yourself. I'm a pre-op newbie, but it just makes sense to me.

Good Luck!

Edited August 25, 2017 by RSM

[FluffyChix 17,409]

*ding. ding. ding! counseling for the win!* I soooo agree with this. As Introversion said, you have get your head in the game. I used to have a coach in high school who would tell us that winning was 90% mental and 10% ability/physical. Of course, what do I know? I am not walkin in your shoes and am still a pre-op noob, so honestly I shouldn't even be giving advice other than to say, "Hang in there! You can figure this out and make corrections!!!" ((hugs))

[Clementine Sky 707]

22 hours ago, LisaCan do this said:

I had my gastric sleeve surgery back in October 2014 and lost 114 pounds however this past year I have gained 40 pounds back. I can't seem to get my mind back in the game. I'm hoping I didn't ruin the sleeve and my stomach is not back to normal. I know it is emotional between my father getting sick and dying 6 months later, my oldest son graduating from HS and hoping he does well in college and just all the day to day worries and struggles. There are times I just don't care but then I say to myself you are getting more and more disgusted with yourself everyday. I try to tell myself that my dad wouldn't want me to let myself go back to the way I was, when I worked so hard to get where I was but it only works a little while. Does anyone have any advice on how to get back on the right road. I really am ashamed that I have fallen so far off the weight loss journey. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

@Introversion wrote exactly what was on my mind when I read your post. I'm so sorry you've been through such a profound amount of stress and grief. I remember when my grandfather was sick and then died my aunt gained a substantial amount of weight and my mom lost so much she became sickly thin. Neither overeating nor under-eating are healthy coping mechanisms, but both were understandable reactions to what they were enduring. When your dad was sick your priority was very understandably on him, and you probably weren't tracking what you ate or focusing on yourself. Friends and family probably brought you food after he passed, since that's a common act of love following a death. It sounds like you hadn't yet caught your breath and gotten back on your feet following his passing when your son graduated and moved off to college. Even though that's an accomplishment to be proud of, it's another major alteration to your family life. So much of what you were accustomed to in your life a few years ago has changed, radically and quickly. You haven't yet had time to get adjusted to your new normal.

Don't be disgusted with yourself. Be proud of what you have achieved. You gained some weight back, but you still lost an incredible amount. You're the kind of daughter who prioritizes her parent during hardships. You raised a son who got into college. Give yourself permission to now put more focus on taking care of yourself. If you can afford counseling, I encourage you to consider getting it. Overeating is a very common maladaptive coping method. There are other coping methods that are more beneficial, but they're oftentimes not what's instinctive. They can be learned. You might find that a hobby is a good way of distracting or soothing yourself when you're stressed, or that some other form of pleasure besides eating could be a substitute. After having the VSG I started buying candles more often, and lighting them when I was craving something but wasn't actually hungry. It was a way of having a pleasure without the same consequence to my health.

You might want to consider using something like MyFitnessPal to track what you eat so you can be more mindful about it. Planning out your meals could help, too. If you look on Pinterest or Instagram you can find pictures from people who've had the VSG who meal prep for the week. There's a woman who goes by Fit Miss Bliss who frequently uploads pictures. She makes meals for the first few days of the week on Sundays. I think having meals and healthy Snacks readily available is helpful.

Best wishes to you. Believe in yourself, and take care of yourself.

[LisaCan do this 8]

Thank you