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Final pre- op appointment today .. waiting and fears.



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So today was my final appointment and now everything will be submitted to insurance for the " approval " dun dun dun. I am freaking out. I am so invested in this now that I feel like I am going to lose it if I get denied. The NP today made it seem like it is iffy when I asked her because I have a " low BMI". Only at that office am I ever referred to as a low BMI. I have a BMI of 37, high cholesterol , PCOS, fatty liver and Migraines. I really hope I get approved. My insurance requires a BMI of 35 and at least one co- morbidity which I have so why is this even an issue ?

Then another part of me. A dark part , is like I am selfish for doing this. What if I die and leave my young son without a mother because I couldn't do this on my own. I feel like a failure. I have tried to lose weight so many times and I can but I cannot keep it off. I gain it back plus more , and now the health problems are starting to pile up. I know the road I am walking down and where it will lead me. I know that if I get this and all goes well I will be a happier and more active mom. A healthier mom. A mom who will be around to see my son grow and hopefully my grandkids one day. But I cant stop that nagging feeling. Has anyone else gone through this ?

So many emotions. I guess i just had to vent and hope maybe someone could relate.

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You should be ok according to the insurance requirements you described. The clinic is maybe not used to submitting low BMI patients.

GOOD LUCK.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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