Lost 290 pounds- Self Esteem issues

[ssflbelle 829]

Since I have been on BP for over 2 years feel comfortable enough to share something that has been bothering me lately wth hopes that discussion about it might help me and others. This is geared to those whom have lost a huge amount of weight that have or had a lot of excess skin. As most of you know I lost so far 290 pounds. I had my first of four Excess skin removal surgeries 5 1/2 weeks ago. It was a breast reduction from DDD cups to what the surgeon told me would be B cups.
Yesterday when I tried on the new bras I ordered the B cups were too big, which means I must be an A. The lower half of my body is now bigger and sticks out more than my breasts. I am hoping with the excess lower skin gone I will be more in proportion. However that will not happen for quite a few more months. I am really having a difficult time with the way I look especially when I am not dressed. My self esteen is usually pretty good but this bra/belly situation has hit me hard. Yes I am healthier and happier but now have a whole new set of self esteem issues, which has hit me rather hard. I am becoming very embarrased by the way I look now. I am wearing my oversized tops to try to hide my belly and boobs. I bought bra enchancers to fill out the B cup size and Spanx. to try to press down the tummy.
How did you emotionally and mentally handle the excess skin and changing body shapes as you went through the excess skin removal process? I feel like I need some self esteem help. Do any of you have any articles that might have helped you or even people in person or online that you were able to turn to during this time. I am sure when all 4 surgeries will be over that my self esteem will be back 100% but right now I am almost too embarassed to be seen and want to get over this self esteem issue.
Also at these various WLS conferences I see being advertised is this a topic that is discussed and is there anything posted anywhere that might help me and others with this type of self esteem isuue? Thanks so much if you read all of this posting and I hope some good discussion and advice will come from it.

[Geri Marie 235]

Belle,

What an accomplishment you have been through! I am not there yet, but I am going to give you my two cents worth....here goes. You are almost there! Yes I'm sure you dont look quite like you want to right now, but you are so darn close!! Just look at it as another stepping stone. You lost 290 lbs!! I mean ROCK STAR!! Now you just need to get the finishing touches, thats all! Just wear clothes that make you feel comfortable right now, but know that you are so darn close!! I hope my pep/rant helped somewhat! I mean if you can loose 290, you GOT THIS!!! #seethelightattheendofthetunnel

[Daenerys Targaryen 109]

You are so inspirational to someone like me that has so much to lose. I started at 426, am currently 238 at 13 months post op, and hope to get to the 150's. I don't have much advice for the boob situation, but I just wanted to let you know how much I admire your success.

[Supernovae 34]

I'm a fatty who carries it all on my stomach, butt and thighs and my chest remains a B cup! I'm more than 100lb overweight and still have a boney chest. So, to flatter my figure I wear 'skater' cut dresses. They make your lower half look like you have nice curvey hips (: I'm not sure how old you are or your style, but this is just an example picture (: also if you wore a padded bra under this dress design your boobs would look pretty plump

And try not to stress too much (: just stay positive for your next surgery xx

[Berry78 4,259]

The wonderful thing about "too small" of breasts, is they will be very easy to fake under clothes. Women with mastectomies get prosthetics all the time. View this as just another hurdle.. a problem to solve.

As for the self esteem issue when naked, I really think it's coming from the build-up of hope that the surgery would make things more attractive, and now you don't feel that goal was met.

When I rearrange my house, things ALWAYS get messier and uglier during the process. I think you're still "in the process", so knowing that this current messiness is (or can be) temporary might help. A revision boob job might be needed down the road. Nothing to worry about right now, just keep it as a possibility in your mind.

As for help, I'll mention again.. mastectomies are seriously harsh on women's self-esteems. Perhaps you can find some helpful advice in books or websites designed for that population.

[ssflbelle 829]

Thanks Everyone for all the compliments and suggestions. I wore the bra enchancers today. I had a weird moment trying to figure out which way these enchancers are to be worn. I think I had them in the wrong way for a few hours but they still looked good. My close friends said I looked better. I even felt better. I am a single 61 year old who is not even dating. So I guess I will fake it till I make it through all the surgeries. berry I kind of think you were right on with my thoughts. I really felt that it was the shock that I wasn't a B that threw me off emotionally. I am usually a positive person. I will just have to be patient and see what happens when the rest of the excess skin is removed. Who knows they may pop out more and look great on the new body.

[heycrystal2052 430]

I agree w/ what others have said, think about how far you've come. YOU look, amazing!!! Whenever you look in the mirror and have negative thoughts, think about where you were. Girl, you look GREAT, never think or feel anything less.

[shalanda022 25]

My sister was reduced to a C cup and when everything settled she initially was wearing a B cup and then settled into a C.

Sent from my LG-H918 using BariatricPal mobile app

[ssflbelle 829]

Thanks hercrystal and shalanda for your encoouragement and comments. I went back to work Tuesday and everyone said I looked great and I felt great but I did have in the bra enhancers at work. I chatted with others on line and they said to give the breast more time to heal and after the rest of the excess skin is removed they will probably be a B. I just had a momentary freak out. I am doing fine now.

Everyone Thanks for all the help!