Problems with BFF.

[Actionsteph 3]

My bff and I are both having vsg surgery soon and I was excited untill lately. We have a pretty small social circle about 5 or 10 people, everyone seems to be so excited and supportive of her but they hardly care about me. At first I thought it was me so I stepped back and now I see that there is more support for her.

I also noticed that she's been making this journey a competition when I just wanted to enjoy it. Like when I got my refferal she pulled ou a 2 year old one and switched to my insurance since it covers the surgery. Then she decided to also choose the same surgeon. And now that I have my first visit scheduled she wants to go with me since her referal hasn't been approved, she's hopping to piggy ban the appointment.

I don't want to suffer but I also want to make this journey enjoyable and simple for her.

[Shea_Shea 39]

First off congrats on taking the first steps to having a healthier life. I'm sorry your friend is making it into a competition. You should both just be supporting each other. But as far as her coming to the appointment with you, I personally wouldn't have her go. There is so much information that you and the surgeon need to discuss and if she tries to start talking about herself things might not get discussed. As much as you want to make it enjoyable and simple for her, you have to remember you are also doing this for yourself. If the rolls were reversed would she let you piggy back her appointment? I think you probably know the answer to that.

Hopefully everything works out and you get alittle more support!

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Dr's offices are not going to be very understanding about a 'double booking' - just tell her it is against HIPPA laws - confidentiality and all that. And then stop thinking about her issues and concentrate on yourself, this is a distraction ad will not help you on your journey.

Stop sharing your appointment dates with her, stop sharing the details, just say you are still thinking about some things and when you have a decision that is when you will share, then just keep that up.....she will get the message unless she is the type of person that requires a '2x4' upside the head, metaphorically speaking

You don't need this type of friend setting you up for issues.

Good luck.

Edited August 7, 2017 by Sosewsue61

[Actionsteph 3]

Hi ladies,

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Both are completely right, she would not want me to piggy back on her docs appointment. Deep down I knew what I should be doing but I'm not sure why I didn't just trust my instinct. I will be going on my own if I can however if she is persistent I will just ask her to wait in the waiting room. I'm also going to try to keep the rest of the office visit dates to myself. I think it is important to remember like you said that this is my journey and I should be working on me not my friendships! Thank you!

I think I just needed to hear from a third party.

Steph

[alirocks713 8]

Have you tried talking to your friend about this? I think that if its making you unhappy, sometimes, you have cut off the baggage at least until you're in a situation where you can both talk about. I wouldn't get too worked up over which of your friends is showing her vs you more support... just try to enjoy the journey, its a stressful process with out adding unnecessary drama do the mix. just worry about you, take of you, and keep going. Good luck with everything. I hope it all works out!