Nobody comments on weight loss?

[Jenopolis 38]

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.

Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

[ClareBear1 43]

I hope this happens to me! I hate the idea of people commenting on my body, even positively. Maybe people are noticing but don't want you to feel self conscious.

[Fanese5330 0]

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.
Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

Congrats! I recently had surgery on the 18th of July, and already lost 20 pounds!

[sleevedshereen 524]

38 minutes ago, Jenopolis said:

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.

Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

Honestly, I think it has to do with people being jealous or insecure. I genuinely feel that in SOME cases, especially with women, they wouldn't want to compliment you or give you the confidence or make you feel good about yourself because they don't want you to look better or thinner than them. It's really sad honestly.

Someone in my life (a female) weighs a little less than me since my weight loss. She was happy that I was about 30-35 lbs more than her. It made her happy knowing I was bigger than her. But now my weight is going down and she has not asked about surgery, how I"m doing, feeling, etc. She says I cheated and took the easy way out and is getting pissed off because I'm a few lbs away from being the same weight as her now. She doesn't realize I'm struggling on this journey of being on liquids for an entire month and not eating fast food or drinking sodas anymore and having Portion Control and exercising will all contribute to my weight loss...the surgery isn't a magic pill....it gives me the will power and hope I didn't have before.

Eff the people who don't support you or notice you. They want you to stay down, how you were before surgery.

Your light is shining through as your coming into your new skin....just shine and blind em.

[hmills653 365]

that's sad. I've only been back to work 2 weeks now but everyone has commented about how I look good and asked how I feel. They're like my extended family and I've been there for 11 years. Is feel hurt if they didn't. So sorry. I agree there is probably some jealousy there. But just remember some people are @$$holes.

[Dashofpixiedust8 1,469]

i feel like some people don't know if it's okay to mention it. For me, it wasn't really that noticeable until I was down over 150 pounds since I started so high. Not everyone would mention it. I was on the fence about whether I even wanted them to say anything. Now that I'm down 292 pounds...it is VERY noticeable and I really WANT the attention. Not everyone gives it still but MANY people do. I really think it depends on how well that person knows you whether they feel they have a right to comment on it. Everyone is different and maybe they feel it would be insulting to say something.

I know it's very hard but try not to focus on any one else's reactions to you but focus on your own reactions and abilities you didn't have before. Also, I'm not saying you are but if you depend on other people's reactions to validate your choice of having surgery it may affect your commitment to continue. Only you can make you happy.

I struggle with the physical validation from others a lot. I'm trying to focus on the fact that before, I was a shell of a human in a round squishy cell. Now I am free and I am active and I am who I always wanted and knew I could be but always stopped myself from becoming.

This is both a physically and emotionally draining experience and I'm sure there is a difference, others just may not know what to say about it. But you can tell yourself, damn, I look good!

Sorry for the long post...I think I wrote some of this to remind myself as much as I want to tell you!

Edited August 1, 2017 by Dashofpixiedust8

[summerset 5,261]

Jenopolis, I think you're the lucky one because people are not commenting. I always hated the comments and are always glad when people didn't comment.

[summerset 5,261]

13 hours ago, Dashofpixiedust8 said:

i feel like some people don't know if it's okay to mention it.

And I think there people are very tactful. I don't comment on the weight loss of other people as well. After all, it could be unintentional weight loss. Illness? The loss of a loved one?

[Bambam626 10]

Congrats! I recently had surgery on the 18th of July, and already lost 20 pounds!

I had surgery 7/18 too! I'm down 11, dropped by day 6 and now nothing

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

I think it is dependent upon the person they are and you as well. It is hard to analyze these things sometimes. It definitely changes the dynamics in some relationships and takes adjustment. If these people that aren't commenting never commented on a new hairdo or outfit before they might not know your reaction if they suddenly mentioned weight loss as it is a touchy subject. If they are women and used to make comments and then suddenly stopped they might think you would take comments the wrong way - that maybe their original ones were phony. People are weird and sometimes insecure themselves. I had lots of comments the time I lost 70lbs, some I didn't want because they were inappropriate and then when I gained it back no one ever noticed a new hairdo or great shoes or anything ever again! lol Like I said people can be weird and hard to figure out.

Those that are genuinely jealous usually become known by their actions or words at some point. You have to just adjust to these changes and move on. Go shopping and enjoy your new energy and body.

[ZinNH 173]

I haven't had surgery yet, but I have lost over 40 pounds so far. I'm a little bummed that nobody has noticed- but, I just remind myself that nobody commented when I packed on 40 pounds either!

[vsgdon 32]

On 8/1/2017 at 0:59 PM, sleevedshereen said:

Honestly, I think it has to do with people being jealous or insecure. I genuinely feel that in SOME cases, especially with women, they wouldn't want to compliment you or give you the confidence or make you feel good about yourself because they don't want you to look better or thinner than them. It's really sad honestly.

Someone in my life (a female) weighs a little less than me since my weight loss. She was happy that I was about 30-35 lbs more than her. It made her happy knowing I was bigger than her. But now my weight is going down and she has not asked about surgery, how I"m doing, feeling, etc. She says I cheated and took the easy way out and is getting pissed off because I'm a few lbs away from being the same weight as her now. She doesn't realize I'm struggling on this journey of being on liquids for an entire month and not eating fast food or drinking sodas anymore and having Portion Control and exercising will all contribute to my weight loss...the surgery isn't a magic pill....it gives me the will power and hope I didn't have before.

Eff the people who don't support you or notice you. They want you to stay down, how you were before surgery.

Your light is shining through as your coming into your new skin....just shine and blind em.

You are spot on.

[vsgdon 32]

It is really amazing how people respond. I was at 300 and wanted to get to 200. Pre surgery, i lost 40 lbs on my own. No one in the outer circle said a word about it.

Makes me question is our culture just numb to obesity and its just acceptable? Is it because people are so easily offended these days, you cant even pay a compliment? Is it because people fear you may have a medical condition?

The easy way out angle is a riot to me. They said people would say that at the support group meeting I first went to. If people only knew what I have gone through this year. I havent eaten food in over 3 weeks at this point. You wake up every day of your life feeling like crap, embarrassed of how you look. Frustrated you cant do things , wear things, or eat things other take for granted. You make a decision to cut into your body and cut organs out to get to where others are normally. You will have to alter your way of life and eating for ever. There is nothing easy about any of that.

[TheGirlInThePinkScarf 28]

I'm very open about my surgery, so I think that's why people I know feel comfortable commenting about my weight loss/how hard that I'm working out.

Getting comments isn't always a great thing though. It can border on condescending after a while.

Sent from my SM-N920P using BariatricPal mobile app

[BelgianGuy 350]

It feels nice when receiving comments, but at first even though I lost 30kilos, some friends (I did not tell anyone about the surgery) just simply thought I was in one my "dieting" phase (which I'd always give up), I started receiving tons of comments when I actually lost 45/50 kilos.

All this weightloss has even made me a bit paranoid for a bit, as some friends would not want to comment and when I asked they just told me "Well, it's obvious you've shed half your size, so we thought we would just tell you the same thing you must be hearing all the time".

In the end, what matters is how you feel regarding yourself and how your loved ones see you, the opinion of mere strangers or work colleagues or even acquaintances do not matter much (even if it is nice to hear people telling you positive things regarding your new body).