Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Nobody comments on weight loss?



Recommended Posts

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.

Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope this happens to me! I hate the idea of people commenting on my body, even positively. Maybe people are noticing but don't want you to feel self conscious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.
Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

Congrats! I recently had surgery on the 18th of July, and already lost 20 pounds!


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

38 minutes ago, Jenopolis said:

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.

Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

Honestly, I think it has to do with people being jealous or insecure. I genuinely feel that in SOME cases, especially with women, they wouldn't want to compliment you or give you the confidence or make you feel good about yourself because they don't want you to look better or thinner than them. It's really sad honestly.

Someone in my life (a female) weighs a little less than me since my weight loss. She was happy that I was about 30-35 lbs more than her. It made her happy knowing I was bigger than her. But now my weight is going down and she has not asked about surgery, how I"m doing, feeling, etc. She says I cheated and took the easy way out and is getting pissed off because I'm a few lbs away from being the same weight as her now. She doesn't realize I'm struggling on this journey of being on liquids for an entire month and not eating fast food or drinking sodas anymore and having Portion Control and exercising will all contribute to my weight loss...the surgery isn't a magic pill....it gives me the will power and hope I didn't have before.

Eff the people who don't support you or notice you. They want you to stay down, how you were before surgery.

Your light is shining through as your coming into your new skin....just shine and blind em. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

that's sad. I've only been back to work 2 weeks now but everyone has commented about how I look good and asked how I feel. They're like my extended family and I've been there for 11 years. Is feel hurt if they didn't. So sorry. I agree there is probably some jealousy there. But just remember some people are @$$holes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i feel like some people don't know if it's okay to mention it. For me, it wasn't really that noticeable until I was down over 150 pounds since I started so high. Not everyone would mention it. I was on the fence about whether I even wanted them to say anything. Now that I'm down 292 pounds...it is VERY noticeable and I really WANT the attention. Not everyone gives it still but MANY people do. I really think it depends on how well that person knows you whether they feel they have a right to comment on it. Everyone is different and maybe they feel it would be insulting to say something.

I know it's very hard but try not to focus on any one else's reactions to you but focus on your own reactions and abilities you didn't have before. Also, I'm not saying you are but if you depend on other people's reactions to validate your choice of having surgery it may affect your commitment to continue. Only you can make you happy.

I struggle with the physical validation from others a lot. I'm trying to focus on the fact that before, I was a shell of a human in a round squishy cell. Now I am free and I am active and I am who I always wanted and knew I could be but always stopped myself from becoming.

This is both a physically and emotionally draining experience and I'm sure there is a difference, others just may not know what to say about it. But you can tell yourself, damn, I look good!

Sorry for the long post...I think I wrote some of this to remind myself as much as I want to tell you!

Edited by Dashofpixiedust8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jenopolis, I think you're the lucky one because people are not commenting. I always hated the comments and are always glad when people didn't comment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, Dashofpixiedust8 said:

i feel like some people don't know if it's okay to mention it.

And I think there people are very tactful. I don't comment on the weight loss of other people as well. After all, it could be unintentional weight loss. Illness? The loss of a loved one?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Congrats! I recently had surgery on the 18th of July, and already lost 20 pounds!



I had surgery 7/18 too! I'm down 11, dropped by day 6 and now nothing


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it is dependent upon the person they are and you as well. It is hard to analyze these things sometimes. It definitely changes the dynamics in some relationships and takes adjustment. If these people that aren't commenting never commented on a new hairdo or outfit before they might not know your reaction if they suddenly mentioned weight loss as it is a touchy subject. If they are women and used to make comments and then suddenly stopped they might think you would take comments the wrong way - that maybe their original ones were phony. People are weird and sometimes insecure themselves. I had lots of comments the time I lost 70lbs, some I didn't want because they were inappropriate and then when I gained it back no one ever noticed a new hairdo or great shoes or anything ever again! lol Like I said people can be weird and hard to figure out.

Those that are genuinely jealous usually become known by their actions or words at some point. You have to just adjust to these changes and move on. Go shopping and enjoy your new energy and body.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't had surgery yet, but I have lost over 40 pounds so far. I'm a little bummed that nobody has noticed- but, I just remind myself that nobody commented when I packed on 40 pounds either!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 8/1/2017 at 0:59 PM, sleevedshereen said:

Honestly, I think it has to do with people being jealous or insecure. I genuinely feel that in SOME cases, especially with women, they wouldn't want to compliment you or give you the confidence or make you feel good about yourself because they don't want you to look better or thinner than them. It's really sad honestly.

Someone in my life (a female) weighs a little less than me since my weight loss. She was happy that I was about 30-35 lbs more than her. It made her happy knowing I was bigger than her. But now my weight is going down and she has not asked about surgery, how I"m doing, feeling, etc. She says I cheated and took the easy way out and is getting pissed off because I'm a few lbs away from being the same weight as her now. She doesn't realize I'm struggling on this journey of being on liquids for an entire month and not eating fast food or drinking sodas anymore and having Portion Control and exercising will all contribute to my weight loss...the surgery isn't a magic pill....it gives me the will power and hope I didn't have before.

Eff the people who don't support you or notice you. They want you to stay down, how you were before surgery.

Your light is shining through as your coming into your new skin....just shine and blind em. ;)

You are spot on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is really amazing how people respond. I was at 300 and wanted to get to 200. Pre surgery, i lost 40 lbs on my own. No one in the outer circle said a word about it.

Makes me question is our culture just numb to obesity and its just acceptable? Is it because people are so easily offended these days, you cant even pay a compliment? Is it because people fear you may have a medical condition?

The easy way out angle is a riot to me. They said people would say that at the support group meeting I first went to. If people only knew what I have gone through this year. I havent eaten food in over 3 weeks at this point. You wake up every day of your life feeling like crap, embarrassed of how you look. Frustrated you cant do things , wear things, or eat things other take for granted. You make a decision to cut into your body and cut organs out to get to where others are normally. You will have to alter your way of life and eating for ever. There is nothing easy about any of that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm very open about my surgery, so I think that's why people I know feel comfortable commenting about my weight loss/how hard that I'm working out.

Getting comments isn't always a great thing though. It can border on condescending after a while.

Sent from my SM-N920P using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It feels nice when receiving comments, but at first even though I lost 30kilos, some friends (I did not tell anyone about the surgery) just simply thought I was in one my "dieting" phase (which I'd always give up), I started receiving tons of comments when I actually lost 45/50 kilos.

All this weightloss has even made me a bit paranoid for a bit, as some friends would not want to comment and when I asked they just told me "Well, it's obvious you've shed half your size, so we thought we would just tell you the same thing you must be hearing all the time".

In the end, what matters is how you feel regarding yourself and how your loved ones see you, the opinion of mere strangers or work colleagues or even acquaintances do not matter much (even if it is nice to hear people telling you positive things regarding your new body).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×