I won't follow the herd any more...

[Chelle B 0]

Chelle! The "Century Club". That's fantastic!

Nancy, I was beginning to think it would never happen. I am so glad that we bandsters don't have to deal with a "window of opportunity".

[Chelle B 0]

Hi Chelle,

After six long months you finally are seeing progress.

Congratulations!

I wish you continued success!

Thank you.

[yayaflowerlady 0]

It has been a really long day, followed by a dinner out with multiple margaritas, so I am ready post my first LBT Rants and Raves post.

I won't follow the herd anymore. Ever. I stopped doing that years ago when I realized that I made every decision based upon how I could make the most people happy (or prevent conflict). That's simply not healthy. And it takes all the fun out of life.

I hate absolutes. Absolutely hate them. I can't stand to lump a group of people together for any reason. All people at LBT are not sweet and perfect. All people at OH are not cheerleaders and ***** supporters. All Muslims are not extreme radicals. Not all of us Texas women are Southern Belles (ok so that one is debatable). All women are not subservient (ok I know you ladies agree with that one). We are all, quite simply, just people.

I don't want to be told I have to do something because it is the Christian thing to do. Are you my priest? My rabbi? My high priestess? Where do people get off on judging other people????? I don't freakin' get it. Each of us have own spirituality or lack of it. Each of us have our own moral core - although some are harder to identify than others. Don't attack me because I don't agree with you - hire a yes-man for that job - it doesn't pay enough for me to take it. And don't push your personal belief system off on me.

I like most people. Really I do. And I get along with most people. Some people just get to me, and I don't have to like them. There is no rule about that. There is only one person on my bad list at the moment, and if I ever get a personal apology that person will come off the list. You and I don't have to like the same people or have the same ideas to be friends. I prefer friends who are different from me. If I wanted everyone to be like me - well then I would become a hermit(ess) and just have ME for companionship.

I love our differences. I love the passion in which so many of us debate what we believe in. I just hate the herd mentality that says we all have to believe the same thing, or like the same people, or hate the same people....because ya know what? We don't. We are different. Our differences make us unique and teach us more about life than any book will.

And one more thing. I rarely drink and I really love Margaritas! :whoo:

Hello Chelle! :-)

I ditto all that!

Nina

[yayaflowerlady 0]

"I will choose my battles carefully in the future. "

Yes, I do this. I don't care for heated debates and would rather make a friend than win an argument any day. It's a dangerous world we live in, sad to say.

Nina

[Chelle B 0]

"I will choose my battles carefully in the future. "

Yes, I do this. I don't care for heated debates and would rather make a friend than win an argument any day. It's a dangerous world we live in, sad to say.

Nina

Yeah, I just don't get it. It is more self-rewarding to be happy and open to people than to be antagonistic. I don't know if I am in the minority or just a weirdo to enjoy the good parts of life so much!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Oh please, ask me about something unrelated to Wendell. He knows darn well that I won't answer anything about him and he knows why. Please don't get me started or the dam will burst and I really don't want to go there ever again. I have put that chapter of my life behind me.

And I am trying to be as sincere as I can with you. Perhaps Nancy can answer this one. And I have no doubt people here will crucify me for my non-answer, but I truly can't go there again. Not in a public forum. Not in a PM.

And for the good news - if anybody here cares - I hit the Century Club finally - I am down 101 lbs!

But Chelle, I'm not asking you about Wendell. I'm asking you about Sandy's actions of claiming to have medical information that simply wasn't true. She made it up. It could have been about any of us. It doesn't matter who her target was, it was the info she made up, claimed it was medical information, and passed it around.

How would you have felt if it would have been you she did that to?

At least she admitted you guys were being mean but justified it with a flat out lie.

Congrats on the century club! Feels good, eh? Quite an accomplishment!

[Chelle B 0]

But Chelle, I'm not asking you about Wendell. I'm asking you about Sandy's actions of claiming to have medical information that simply wasn't true. She made it up. It could have been about any of us. It doesn't matter who her target was, it was the info she made up, claimed it was medical information, and passed it around.

How would you have felt if it would have been you she did that to?

At least she admitted you guys were being mean but justified it with a flat out lie.

Congrats on the century club! Feels good, eh? Quite an accomplishment!

In keeping with my commitment to ME, I will answer this question instead. How would I feel is anybody made up medical information about me and used it against me? I would be f***in furious; and I would contact the person directly first. My next actions would depend on the results of the one-on-one.

I am weird perhaps because I follow the Stephen Covey 5th habit: "The single most important principle in the field of interpersonal relations is this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Most people listen, not with the intent to understand, but with the intent to reply." I'm not perfect at this and never will be, but I have to keep trying. It gets easier with time. And it is a reason I felt comfortable coming here and engaging you guys - and I do better understand now.

Century Club is wonderful and it will just get better and better from here! For my birthday next year, I want the girls perked up where they should be.

[Joyouslyme 0]

It's nice that everyone is coming to an understanding over this nasty business.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I am not ignoring your question...just not sure how to answer. You might have gotten more out of me, if not for Lauren posting the private e-mail request I sent to Wendell (which went ignored, BTW). She had it at the tip of her fingers. So nothing I say will be confidential...I'm sure of that.

But what Lauren did has nothing to do with my question to you and Chelle.

I'll be really honest, I was in a 'round about way earlier but I'll come out and say it as Chelle requested.

My writing style may suck a big one, I am too blunt, I don't soften things up the way I should (and I would if I could but even that doesn't work), writing just isn't my forte. Nursing is my forte. I'm the best I know. Call it egotistical, maybe it is. But I'm REALLY good at that, I'm not good at writing. So please keep that in mind when I write this.

I honestly don't know whether you guys are just here playing with us or if you are being sincere. My own take on it is that I don't really care in the end. I treat everyone the same on LBT. It's my sanctuary. I can write anything I want, I can say anything I want. I can ask any stupid question out there. I can offer what I have to others, I am free to do it all here. If someone disagrees with me we discuss it and sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong. But it's a learning experience for everyone.

One thing about us is that two people may not be best friends and they may tend to avoid one another but when ANYONE has a need around here, we all jump in and offer what we can. Nobody cares if they "like" the person, they jump in anyway. They may back off again after they offer the info they have, but if they like them or not has nothing to do with the help someone may be asking for. We really honestly care about one another here.

So I don't really care if you guys are playing with us and playing "nice" or if this is the way you really are. For the sake of LBT I'm going with... this is how you guys really are in real time and OH somehow creates a different mentality, a "pack" mentality. I mean, it has to be a bit of a break to come here and not deal with the drama. You don't have to watch your p's and q's here for fear of getting moderated or a post deleted. You can be blunt and honest and over here, it's okay. That just has to be a bit of a break from what you deal with on OH.

I think I got your point when you wrote "tip of your fingers" but I am asking you point blank. What do you think of Sandy's dishonesty, claiming she is licensed when in fact her license has been revoked. A history of a criminal record, lying on her RN renewal, claiming to be an NP vs. RN when I sure didn't see it on the licensing records, giving bad advice if it will discredit a nurse she doesn't like, making claims that are not factual about RNY vs. cancer, creating fake medical information while claiming that she got it from a patient's MD and passing it around via PM, changing study results to push her own stance on an issue, being banned from 8 boards that I know of for these very behaviors, coming up with sock puppets to support her stance when others disagree... etc. I mean, these are all issues that are not just suspicions on our part, these are proven facts.

BTW, when Sandy first discovered I had the scoop on her she started dropping hints on OH that sometimes we exchange one addiction for another after banding. You can't eat in quantity so you switch addiction. It should be noted that her theft issues happened before she was ever banded. She hinted around about shoplifting being an exchange for eating. The dates of events don't pan out on that one.

We aren't making this stuff up. These are damned serious issues here. And Chelle was very correct about my take on all this. It's not easy to earn and maintain any medical license and when someone with her history claims she is doing the same when in fact, she's NOT, it's infuriating and discredits nursing as a whole. So I have personal issues with her doing this as well as professional issues. She's a skank for pretending she works hard to maintain her license. She HAS no license. She lost it because she didn't do what is required.

(As a side note just for the purpose of an example, I will be having plastic surgery soon [YEA ME!!] and a fellow member here on LBT is a medical student. He will be in the OR observing the procedure. He'll be taking photos. There are a lot of before and after photos but the "during" photos are few and far between. I want to post those for educational purposes, it's something *I* would like to see as a future PS patient. I can't even post those photos. They will clearly not be sexual in nature, but they will be nude photos. Even though they are SURGICAL! I could lose my license for posting before, during, or after photos. That's an example of rules I have to follow just to maintain licensing.)

For a long time Sandy has had a lot of supporters and at the very least, at one time you and Chelle were certainly two of them. But I also realize there was much information you didn't know. None of us did. So now you do know, now it has been proven.

So it really doesn't matter what Lauren did, that has nothing in the world to do with my question to you. I've been honest, up front, sincere, no sock puppets.... the works.

I guess I'm really putting you on the spot now and asking, in light of the new information that none of us had before, what's your take on Sandy? Her claims, her dishonesty, the works. What is your take on the issue overall?

More specifically, how do you feel about the fake medical information on a patient and passing it around as though it is fact in a PM? How would YOU feel if that was done to you? How do you feel about passing herself off as a licensed RN when in fact, she isn't? I mean, she does it for two reasons, it gives her more credibility in her mind and it is for financial gain. All those posts about emailing her for her infamous lists are just so she can spam the poor person with crap about the CDs she's selling.

Yes, I do like Wendell. He helped me a great deal when I was having a lot of problems with my band in the beginning. He was encouraging, supportive, and he cared about me. That's a lot more than Sandy did. But that does not make me a follower of Wendell. I can like someone without being a follower of that person. That really is an OH concept. I'm not talking about the members as much as the atmosphere OH seems to create. If you like someone somehow that makes you a follower of that person. I don't expect you to believe that, you really don't know me well enough to know if I am a follower, leader, or simply my own person. I understand that. But the thing is, it wouldn't matter who the patient was, wouldn't make a bit of difference. It could have been anyone Sandy didn't like, me, Wendell, Susan, any of us. Does it make it okay that she did that because it was Wendell? Next time it might be you.

I have such HUGE mega problems with taking personal medical information and passing it around. It just does not happen in my world. Oh, I have referred to patients I have cared for in the past and what their issues were, but damn sure nobody knew who I was talking about. I have taken care of famous people before, you think I wouldn't love to talk about that? I'm not referring to their medical conditions, but the general conversations we've had. I'd love to, but I won't. It's just plain wrong. I treat patients the way I would want to be treated. If I don't like a patient I pretend they are my Dad, it keeps me honest instead of doing things the easy way. I try really hard to do little extras for my patients. So thinking about how I view my own job, can you imagine how I felt when I read the "supposed" medical records of Wendell? I came unglued! Wendell has shared much of his medical issues with me and I have NEVER repeated ANY of it. But I will say that what was claimed by Sandy was dead wrong. She was making it up. I know the truth and that wasn't the truth.

Some people take a little bit of truth and stretch the hell out of it. She can't even do THAT! There was no truth. When it comes to professional integrity of sharing personal medical information and my feelings on that, can you imagine how I felt when I read what Sandy did and wrote? That's the epitome of unprofessional, wrong, ... I have no words to describe what I felt. My vocabulary isn't big enough to express how I felt. It was a huge slam to the medical profession as a whole.

Keep in mind, I come from the old school of medicine. You do things the right way, period. No excuses. You don't make up medical information and spread it around about a patient. I used to teach and my students hated me. I worked their asses off, when they felt like they were better than the rest of the world because they were going to be nurses (common for any person ready to graduate) I calmed them down by reminding them how many hours of their career they'd be spending with their finger up someone rear end. I don't play games with this profession. There is only one way to handle these issues and that is the right way.

Everyone screws up, regardless of profession or lack of profession. We ALL screw up. We screw up at work, we screw up at home, we screw up in personal relationships, we screw up in PMs, we screw up all over the place. The true test of a human being is how they handle their screw ups. Do they go back and make it right or do they hide it and pretend it didn't happen? Do they come clean and admit they are human and humans muck things up now and again or do they go on pretending the screw ups didn't happen?

Maybe I'm just weird, that could be! But that's my take on this issue.

I'm interested in hearing what you have to say about my specific questions and my thoughts overall. Yeah, I guess I am backing you in a corner and maybe that isn't fair. You have every right to tell me to kiss your back side. Or, you can be honest. Or, you can PM me. Or, you are free to call me. I'm just seriously interested in understanding this whole issue from the POV of you and Chelle.

I believe Chelle has my phone number. I think I gave it to her once. But I'll PM you with it. Nothing written, nothing will be repeated. Not to anyone, ever - if that is what you wish. I just want to understand.

Other than revealing personal information about myself (real name vs. what shows up on caller IDs, etc.) I'll tell you anything you want to know. You want to know my IDs on OH? I'll tell you but I've been very honest about that ON OH. Want to know my IDs here? This one is it, that's all. Want to know how I researched Sandy info? I'll tell you.

Okay, end of book.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Congrats on breaking your stall Chelle.

BTW, Chelle... there are two threads you seriously need to post on:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/running-totals-weight-lost-lbt-ers-6578/

And:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/who-has-lost-over-100-pounds-16050/

You've earned it, do it!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I can appreciate this answer. We have all been in positions where we have been wrong about people, and have become painfully aware of it. The fact that this post is what it is and does not try and dispute anything says a lot. At least for me.

Ditto.

I wish I would have read ahead before writing a book.

I still had a few more questions in my book. Fair's fair. She can respond or not.

[Chelle B 0]

BTW, Chelle... there are two threads you seriously need to post on:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/running-totals-weight-lost-lbt-ers-6578/

And:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/who-has-lost-over-100-pounds-16050/

You've earned it, do it!

Thanks - I just did. Those are very inspirational!

[skmsu 0]

It's nice that everyone is coming to an understanding over this nasty business.

It truly is. I think one of the problems with OH was that everytime there was a heated disagreement someone would have the mods remove posts or the entire thread. All that does is leave things up in the air without any resolution.

[Chelle B 0]

It truly is. I think one of the problems with OH was that everytime there was a heated disagreement someone would have the mods remove posts or the entire thread. All that does is leave things up in the air without any resolution.

Hey, I 100% agree with that. Nobody should be allowed to selectively remove posts by other people - it distorts the picture and yes, leaves things up in the air.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Hey, I 100% agree with that. Nobody should be allowed to selectively remove posts by other people - it distorts the picture and yes, leaves things up in the air.

This is why I think OH staff bring a lot of the problems over there on themselves. Their rules are silly, their techniques suck, and their favoritism is obvious. They don't even bother hiding it.