Why do we fall off the wagon? & How to get back on?

[blizair09 3,250]

16 minutes ago, Greensleevie said:

Also, I work in addiction. You know the first indicator I see when I know someone is going to relapse?

They swear they are NEVER going back to drugs or alcohol.

They don't have enough insight to understand that absolutes and extremes just don't work in the real world with real world challenges. They get blindsided when they happen and deal with them the only way they know how....resorting back to their old self destructive behaviors.

The more successful clients understand that although they can't promise they won't ever go back, they will work their programs the best they can, use the tools they've been given and deal with the challenges they know will happen as they come in order to be successful. They don't assume to know it all, either.

This is a post I can get on board with. (And, for the record, I agree with just about everything you usually post, but the tone of your post from earlier even bothered me a little bit.)

Yes, I am only almost 10 months post-op, but I did embrace a Keto way of eating for my entire six month pre-op diet program, so I have been eating this way for 16 months now. And my habits are in fact habits and the way I plan to continue eating long-term.

Is my approach "extreme"? Not to me, but I can see how others think so. I have watched my dad (2005), mom (2013), and brother (2014) have the bypass, sleeve, and band respectively. My dad and brother have gained back every pound they lost. My mom has gained about 30 pounds. And even they will admit it is because they immediately went back to eating just like they did before. I have watched them do it (even as I have been on my own journey).

Can I predict the future? No, I can't. But, I can tell you this -- I am not going back there. If that means 20 carbs a day for the rest of my life, it will just have to mean that. I have made peace with this way of eating, embraced food as fuel, and learned to manage stress in other ways.

One guy called me too serious on a thread earlier this week. Some may call me idealistic or extreme. And, in some eyes, maybe that is true, but I'll be damned if I go back to where I began ever again.

[Apple1 2,572]

I understand what you all are trying to convey, but I also understand where Jeffrey is coming from.

I don't think it is a bad thing to be determined to conquer our weight problems. Enthusiasm and motivation is never a bad thing. Sure as newbies we can't know the future and we need to be making the changes now that will stick with us and always be aware of the pitfalls.

I am not doing this for anyone's compliments so for me when they stop I am going to be perfectly finewith that. My motivation is my health and getting fit.

I think we are all on the same page here. We must remain vigilant because as time goes by it will be easier to over eat and gain weight back. Establish the good habits now with diet and exercise so we will have a solid foundation going into maintenance.

[Jeffrey Stern 53]

Well Ms. Greensleevie

I didn't want to go the route of name calling...however you started it. Immature??? really The very reason people start the name calling is they have NO ARGUMENT to defend. And because I won't join your "pity party" you feel threatened by my MATURE attitude towards my life long commitment to be healthy. Just because you are a failure doesn't mean everyone else must follow your weak and IMMATURE attitude. GROW UP !!!

I didn't have this surgery on a whim. This was a decision with my doctor and then a year long process with the hospital performing the surgery. Surgeons, nurses, nutritionists, psychologists ( to make sure I was mentally prepared) to venture into this new lifestyle. And post surgery I have a 5yr program to follow with the same. I have my first post surgery meeting with the nutritionist on Aug 11th, then the nurse practitioner Aug. 22th, then another nurse practitioner Nov. 3rd, then the same day with a social worker, and then to end the year another nutritionist on Nov. 10th where I will get the schedule for the next year...so you see for the next 5yrs I am good...by that time I should be well on my way to having a healthy life. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANT !!! Like I said before it took a good kick in the pants to get here. And I ain't gonnna screw it up. Sorry I won't be joining your pity party this time.

If you are in addiction like you say...than doesn't AA say you must admit you have a problem before you can get help. I admit I HAD a problem...now I got help... so sue me.

So my dear if I fail and I won't....it's because I didn't take this surgery seriously. Just like you !!! your weak... and you are looking for other people to join your Debbie Downer pity party. I really don't understand why it's so difficult for you to GET THIS !! oh wait your a loser.

Jack Canfield (Jack Canfield is an American author, motivational speaker, seminar leader, corporate trainer, and entrepreneur). said quote: "success depends on getting good at saying no without feeling guilt. You cannot go ahead with your own goals if you are always saying yes to someone elses projects. YOU CAN ONLY GET AHEAD WITH YOUR DESIRED LIFESTYLE IF YOU ARE FOCUSED ON THE THINGS THAT WILL PRODUCE THAT LIFESTYLE." end quote. this was given in the many pages of information from the Toronto Western Hospital were I had my surgery.

You see they don't want me to fail either. I'll take a rain check on your negative attitude. Be Healthy and Prosper

[Berry78 4,261]

Awww, come on guys, I escape my bitchy household into the relative tranquility of BP, and I get this? Sigh...

[blizair09 3,250]

Just now, Berry78 said:

Awww, come on guys, I escape my bitchy household into the relative tranquility of BP, and I get this? Sigh...

I have to say that this BariatricPal is the bitchiest part of my life.

I can't complain about that, I suppose...

[Berry78 4,261]

Says something about what I'm escaping, don't it?! Lol!

[Greensleevie 451]

4 hours ago, Jeffrey Stern said:

Well Ms. Greensleevie

I didn't want to go the route of name calling...however you started it. Immature??? really The very reason people start the name calling is they have NO ARGUMENT to defend. And because I won't join your "pity party" you feel threatened by my MATURE attitude towards my life long commitment to be healthy. Just because you are a failure doesn't mean everyone else must follow your weak and IMMATURE attitude. GROW UP !!!

I didn't have this surgery on a whim. This was a decision with my doctor and then a year long process with the hospital performing the surgery. Surgeons, nurses, nutritionists, psychologists ( to make sure I was mentally prepared) to venture into this new lifestyle. And post surgery I have a 5yr program to follow with the same. I have my first post surgery meeting with the nutritionist on Aug 11th, then the nurse practitioner Aug. 22th, then another nurse practitioner Nov. 3rd, then the same day with a social worker, and then to end the year another nutritionist on Nov. 10th where I will get the schedule for the next year...so you see for the next 5yrs I am good...by that time I should be well on my way to having a healthy life. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANT !!! Like I said before it took a good kick in the pants to get here. And I ain't gonnna screw it up. Sorry I won't be joining your pity party this time.

If you are in addiction like you say...than doesn't AA say you must admit you have a problem before you can get help. I admit I HAD a problem...now I got help... so sue me.

So my dear if I fail and I won't....it's because I didn't take this surgery seriously. Just like you !!! your weak... and you are looking for other people to join your Debbie Downer pity party. I really don't understand why it's so difficult for you to GET THIS !! oh wait your a loser.

Jack Canfield (Jack Canfield is an American author, motivational speaker, seminar leader, corporate trainer, and entrepreneur). said quote: "success depends on getting good at saying no without feeling guilt. You cannot go ahead with your own goals if you are always saying yes to someone elses projects. YOU CAN ONLY GET AHEAD WITH YOUR DESIRED LIFESTYLE IF YOU ARE FOCUSED ON THE THINGS THAT WILL PRODUCE THAT LIFESTYLE." end quote. this was given in the many pages of information from the Toronto Western Hospital were I had my surgery.

You see they don't want me to fail either. I'll take a rain check on your negative attitude. Be Healthy and Prosper

Wow. You respond to me calling your attitude immature by posting a completely immature response. Good show.

For the record, I'm not a failure. I lost all my excess weight and have kept it off within 10 pounds for 2 years. So basically, I've been keeping my weight off. So far, much more successful than you have been. I also know what to expect a few years out. Way ahead of you there, too.

I think you protest too much. You almost sound like a scared child with all the projection you do.

Okay, good for you. You'll make the surgery successful and you'll have no challenges and issues and everything will be perfect and you've cured your obesity and all the issues that go with it and you'll live happily ever after. You've figured this out all in a matter of under 3 months time.

I'm not being negative, I'm being truthful. Obviously that bothers you. I'm not saying this isn't mostly all on us. Ultimately, it is. But you don't want to admit that the road isn't as easy as you seem to want to make it out to be, and that people who've been there might actually know what they're talking about. I was ONLY pointing out the challenges I and many, many others have faced. You know, because we've been there? And you haven't?

You also obviously don't know how to have a normal discussion without getting over emotional and insulting people. So you are now being put on ignore, because I don't do willful ignorance very well.

[Jeffrey Stern 53]

Greensleevie you bore me...

[Alex Brecher 10,516]

I'm reminding everyone about the rules they agreed to abide by when signing up to BariatricPal. Our policy is to ban anyone that isn't abiding by them. It's been a while since we had to do that and I'd greatly appreciate if everyone can please try to get along!!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

A thread that went to hell with hurt feelings and didn't involve me...

I came to see what all the status update crying was about (also pretty obvious someone is fresh from WLS because their feathers are so easily ruffled).

All I am going to say is when you are fresh from surgery, not even 6 months. It seems impossible you can eat xyz or do whatever. Most of us are guilty of thinking that is the way it will always be.

When you heal at 6 months it is almost like a switch flips. Boom you can eat more, well feel less restriction. 9 months again, 12 months again. Then by 24 months like Greenie said boredom has set in (I am completely bored with the whole thing) you feel totally normal and it is pretty easy to slip.

No one that is over a year out is going to take someone less than 3 months from surgery seriously. This is like some kid fresh outta college trying to lecture me about IT when I have had 2 successful businesses and a 20 plus year career.

The best thing someone freshly sleeved can do is learn the habits of people that fail. I can name off the top 2...

They don't track

They don't measure

WLS patient or not people who track are more successful period. My BFF lost more weight than 1/2 the people that post here in a shorter time, without any weight loss surgery, eating the same way and just tracking her food.

[BigViffer 3,545]

lol, ah... the big newbie hormonal dump rage vs bored vet arguments. The same thing played out over & over every 6 months.

A piece of advice, but not for the newbies. Vets, your input is not really wanted. People only want a vet to reaffirm their choices, theories, and advice. I found that the ones that truly want advice are not the ones hoping to make a name, obtain popularity, or gain a reputation on the forum. More often than not, the ones that appear to take advice to heart are the ones that have PM'ed a vet for a private conversation. That allows a conversation without any posturing.

[MNovalis 93]

Most likely, the best thing that can happen in our weight loss journey is to 'fall off the wagon' a time or two. It reminds us that we are humans and still capable of failing. That our surgeries were not a fix-all for our bad eating habits that got us in the shape we were in to begin with. I don't know about the rest of you all, but I have learned from my falls what I can and cant eat, what my new stomach wont tolerate and that eating carbs today means I may just gain a pound tomorrow! Its all a learning process and many of the things I have learned are from falling off of that wagon!

[Apple1 2,572]

9 hours ago, BigViffer said:

lol, ah... the big newbie hormonal dump rage vs bored vet arguments. The same thing played out over & over every 6 months.

A piece of advice, but not for the newbies. Vets, your input is not really wanted. People only want a vet to reaffirm their choices, theories, and advice. I found that the ones that truly want advice are not the ones hoping to make a name, obtain popularity, or gain a reputation on the forum. More often than not, the ones that appear to take advice to heart are the ones that have PM'ed a vet for a private conversation. That allows a conversation without any posturing.

I have to respectfully disagree. It don't believe we all fit into this category at all.

[ab123. 90]

On 7/13/2017 at 7:57 AM, Apple1 said:

How many calories are you consuming daily? Do you track your foods? How many carbs and Protein are you eating? Are you drinking at least 64oz or more Water daily? I think we need more information to offer advice. Did you follow your doctors plan?

Exercise can be walking or non-impact in a pool, it doesn't have to be stressful to the body.

I am sorry you haven't lost weight, but maybe you still can if you change some things.

In the last 2 years it has varied. I have worked with a nutritionist and done everything "textbook". Then today for instance I had 2 tostados, a plate of nachos, corn, iced tea and 2 Cookies for dinner. Like I said, my surgery did not restrict my stomach or appetite. Obviously, I wasn't even trying, but what I wanted from my surgery did not happen at all. I am on my own.

[JosieK 120]

In my 10 year journey, there were times I fell off the plan. So I went back to basics. Key:

1. journal everything I ate. It helped me to clearly see what I was doing.

2. I only weighed and measured myself once a month. The scale becomes an idol to me and I react to whatever it says.

3. I increased my exercise.

4. I consciously ate my meals. Never in front of a TV or doing something else other than eat.

5. I started cycling and signed up for a charity race for MS. It gave me a goal to work towards plus it was a social activity.

Key was to make sure my band wasn't too tight. When it was, in ate calorie intense liquids and ice cream. Big no no

it helped me to get back on track. Hope this helps