Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

So discouraged and need to get back the hope



Recommended Posts

Hi everyone,

So today I am 7 months post of RNY. I have lost 57 pounds since my pre-op diet. I am so far past the excitement and hope I had when the weight was coming off during the first 2 months. Since then though, I have lost a total of only 10 pounds in 5 months (!)- I don't even really know what to say about that-

I voiced my concerns to my surgeon's office at 2, 3, 4, 5 months but they keep telling me to just follow the plan and it will fall off- they won't give me a calorie count of where I should be- just 60g of Protein in 2 shakes and then 3 meals of 4oz each. Obviously protein first, then veggies- but they want me eating fruit and whole grain carbs too. Obviously 64oz of fluids and 30min of cardio plus strength training 4x per week.

I've been doing the eating part really well until about a month ago and then I got to the point where I realized this is just like I was before- there's nothing special about what I'm doing. I feel little to no restriction when I eat, NOTHING (and I've tried) has made me dump. I haven't vomited or had any GI problems since the surgery. So I came to the point that I realized I'm back to just being on a diet- like I've been on since I was 9. So of course my old habits and thinking came right back- I give myself excuses for grabbing a few Hershey's kisses at work from someone's desk or having just 1 cookie at a party. It's just made me more frustrated and feeling like a failure.

I feel great when I exercise. I hired a trainer to see twice a week for resistance training which I think has helped. I've lost a couple of inches here and there since starting 5 weeks ago and I feel good physically.

I'm just stuck. I mentioned this in another thread- that I'd been in a 4 month stall- and someone - who is brilliant by the way- corrected me and said that was called a plateau- ha! Made me laugh but it also made me feel like I wasn't imagining this all and there is something not right here.

My meals are usually either ff cottage cheese or plain vanilla Greek yogurt (4oz of either) for Breakfast, a premiere Protein Shake for a snack, salad with 2-4oz of chicken breast with veggies/beans on it for lunch, another premiere protein shake for an afternoon snack and then dinner which varies but is some lean meat (hamburger- no bun, steak, chicken, shrimp or fish) any of them of about 2-3 oz, with a veggie usually. I wait to drink until 30 minutes after eating and I take all my Vitamins like clockwork each day-

What am I doing wrong? And how can I get back to that place of hope where I am expecting to lose more weight. I started out at 240 and now I'm 183. Don't get me wrong- I'm not angry about having "had surgery and failing" or something- I'm thrilled about where I am but I don't think I went through all that plus complications afterwards for 57 pounds when others around me have lost almost and over a hundred at this point. Is my metabolism that screwed up from years of dieting? Or is my food addiction just not letting me see the forest through the trees? I feel like I've lost hope again- which is what this surgery had finally given me after so many years.

Anyone's input would be sooo appreciated- thanks everyone for making this such a comforting place- just reading everyone's posts over the past few months has given me so much info-

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In general, weight loss is achieved during the short weight loss phase through meal volume control. The two operative words here are short and volume. So if you want to maximize your weight loss during this phase, you need to adhere to the program guidelines. I slid into the maintenance phase at 7 months.

One suggestion at your stage is to assess your Protein intake. Your daily protein requirement is met by a combination of the amount of protein you obtain from food combined with the amount of protein from protein supplements (protein shakes, protein bars). Right after gastric bypass surgery, the volume of food you consume is minuscule (2 ounces) per meal. But as you get further along, the meal volume increases. Therefore you have a very important option available to you. If you concentrate on consuming high protein meals, you can begin to reduce your reliance on Protein Shakes. I went from 3 a day, down to 2, down to 1 and eventually none when I reached 1 cup per meal at a year and a half post-op.

This is important because protein shakes contain calories. If you can reduce your caloric intake, then you can end a stall. At least that was the approach that I used and it worked for me.

There are two phases to gastric bypass surgery. These are the Weight Loss phase and the Maintenance phase. The strategies for the Maintenance phase is dramatically different than the Weight Loss phase. Your body changes over time (post-op) and that means that you need to change too. When you talk about eating a Hershey's Kiss or a Cookie, that seems to signal that you might be near the Maintenance phase. You can still lose weight in the Maintenance phase but you must accept this transition when it comes. Here is my perception of the Maintenance phase. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery2.pdf

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi.. i think that maybe you where eating and drinking at the same time after your operation.. this causes your stomach to expand and before you know it you can polish off 12 bowls of Pasta. Try and cut back from drinking gas and drinking while eating. I know that it can cause for your stomach to expand

Sent from my SM-G935F using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×