Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Daughter of Concerned Mother



Recommended Posts

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this website and I wish I knew about this sooner. It would've been nice to have support. My mom's the one that told me about it. She has her own account and her user name is Ance. She spoke to many of you about how she's having a hard time with me getting surgery and I'm happy you've all made her understand more about it. I'm currently 20 years old and weigh 255lb. My sleeve surgery is this week on Wednesday, June 21. I've never been excited in my life. It's very hard sometimes because my father doesn't support me at all and tells me how disappointed he is with me and sometimes yells at me. I know he does it out of love but it really makes me want to cut him out of my life. I'm hoping afterwards he'll see I'm okay and healthier and be better. I also don't want to tell anyone in my family right now about surgery because of how judge mental they are. I wish I didn't have to tell anyone but maybe in a year or so I'll tell people. I just don't need negativity and hear how I took the "easy way out" when actually it's a tool to be healthier and happier.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow! There is so much I would like to say, but I am afraid it would overwhelm you. There is alot to unpack in your post. I hope as you go on your journey that you find a counselor or therapist to talk with you walk through your weight loss journey. You have not taken an easy way out. Anyone that says that to you does not understand the complexities of overeating and the relationship between eating and feelings. You are changing your relationship with food. Your Mom may not understand her relationship with food and feeding you. So get ready to experience a variety of emotions and seek out people who can support you in your efgort.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good Luck this week. Also, its definitely not the easy way out. Making all these changes are a lot of hard work! [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-N920V using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello, and welcome! You are gonna do great! Surgery can be painful, and your emotions will be all over the place post op. Just take it all one step at a time, and you'll be healed up before you know It!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honey there is nothing easy about this and it's possible to go back to your old habits and gain it all back and more. But you're on the right track and in the right place. I wish you all the best. Message me if you need any guidance or help!!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So glad you joined. I've read all your mom's posts and I can see she's worried and loves you. Some people have no one to support them, so I'm thrilled for you that you've got her at least. Good luck Wednesday. You've got a bunch of strangers rooting for you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone,
I'm new to this website and I wish I knew about this sooner. It would've been nice to have support. My mom's the one that told me about it. She has her own account and her user name is Ance. She spoke to many of you about how she's having a hard time with me getting surgery and I'm happy you've all made her understand more about it. I'm currently 20 years old and weigh 255lb. My sleeve surgery is this week on Wednesday, June 21. I've never been excited in my life. It's very hard sometimes because my father doesn't support me at all and tells me how disappointed he is with me and sometimes yells at me. I know he does it out of love but it really makes me want to cut him out of my life. I'm hoping afterwards he'll see I'm okay and healthier and be better. I also don't want to tell anyone in my family right now about surgery because of how judge mental they are. I wish I didn't have to tell anyone but maybe in a year or so I'll tell people. I just don't need negativity and hear how I took the "easy way out" when actually it's a tool to be healthier and happier.


You have got to think of yourself no one has the right to judge you or make comments about you family or not.You are doing this for you no one lives in your shoes and you know your own mind.
I myself am waiting on a op date to have Gastric sleeve from from the uk message me if you want to chat.
Good luck


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good luck for taking control. Seek therapy even when you are doing well, there will be huge changes for you as you navigate the journey. Your mom cares about you and that is good. I hope your father comes around, often men's emotional reactions of fear come out as anger or inappropriate responses, you can say to him in a calm moment that his opinion is important but that shaming you is hurtful and you plan to make this decision fully informed and w/o his blessing but that you expect him to love you regardless of his disapproval.

Good luck and let us know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How did surgery go 3 days ago? Thinking of you and wishing you a fast recovery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Get your life girl it's yours and only you know how you feel inside!!! Hope your surgery went well and stay strong it's the beginning of your journey!!!


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×