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Regrets and anxiety



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Hello everyone

I am 18 month post op and if many of you have heard my stories will understand that I been through a lot since I had Surgury. Unfortunately I have had many complications and recently I was put on TPN which is iv nutrition for the second time. The reason I had gastric bypass was because I had severe erosion in my esophagus and had esophagitis and my surgeon told me that I could develop esophagus cancer. I was also overweight for my height. I am 4"11 and I was 189 pounds before Surgury. I would aspirate in my sleep and had the worse reflux ever. Now I have been very depress and feel so much regret since I lost so much weight. The surgeon is trying to figure out why is it that I keep losing and can't gain weight on my own. Last week I was 90 pounds and since on TPN I have gained 6 pounds. I am 96 pounds now. I was advice to see someone for Theapy but I want to be able to move on normally. Has anyone experience depression or regrets? Also I have had so many Surgury and never was able to fully workout and now I see sagging skin on my legs, arms and belly and feel more depress. I don't want to have more Surgury but I am trying to deal with all these emotions. Any suggestions will be appreciated. I am very Down and feel hopeless of life. I get teary and guilt is to much to handle. Thanks for reading my post and looking forward to hearing what you all think or advice.

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Hi there. I hope you're feeling better. I read your post and could feel your anxiety. I suggest you take their advice to heart and talk to a therapist. I've had depression most of my life and I'm pre op right now with surgery due most likely in August. With having depression for so long, I know how to help myself and I do see my therapist. Believe me it helps a lot. You may need to take an anti-depressant to get you over this hump. I wish you well and will say prayers for you! I send healing and joyful thoughts. Blessings and Peace--


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Wow, 6 pounds already! You are doing great! (Bet they are milkshakes in your IV! 😜 )

You have had a tough go of it, for sure. Talking to someone isn't a bad idea.. Let some of the pressure out...

(Hugs) Just take everything one day at a time, and be kind to yourself. Get a massage or your nails done. Rent a movie. Enjoy some sunshine and fresh air.

You are strong. You just have to hold on, ride out this tough patch, and one day soon you'll be sorted out and back to living the easy life. If it requires another surgery, you'll do just fine with that too. I have faith in you! Your journey has had lots of steep mountains to climb, but you've come this far, and climbed that many. What is one or two more?

So happy your tpn is doing such a good job for you!

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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