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Dashofpixiedust8

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Dashofpixiedust8    1,469

Dashofpixiedust8
Posted

So I cleaned out my closet of clothes that are too big for me for the third time.

One of the items was a fancy skirt I had worn to my Bat Mitzvah.

It then hit me that I was about to be smaller than I was when I was 13 years old. I am now 30 years old.

This was a happy and sad feeling.

It was happy because I have worked so hard to lose these over than 260 pounds.

It was sad though because I let myself stay so heavy for most of my life and it stopped me from being the person I always wanted and knew I could be.

I know I can't change the past and can only look towards the future but I started to mourn for my past struggles again and it made me tear up a bit thinking about all the time I spent trapped in my heavy body.

I know many of you can relate, though maybe not all of you can to the extent that I was trapped when I was 540 pounds.

This is not only a physical struggle but an emotional one.

I'm glad I finally got motivated and am taking my life back.

I am even less weight than I was when I had gotten the lapband in 2008.

As they say, this is the first step in the rest of my life. I'm excited to see what else I can accomplish. I am only 78 pounds away from goal now and it seems like nothing with how much I've already lost.

I just wanted to share these thoughts with you all because I know out of anyone, you can relate.

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njgal    535

njgal
Posted

Beautiful! I think it's an important part of looking to the future. One has to analyze the past and if need be mourn it to be be able to look ahead. Be proud!


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Dashofpixiedust8    1,469

Dashofpixiedust8
Posted

@njgal Thank you! I am! It's a very hard process though!


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njgal    535

njgal
Posted

@njgal Thank you! I am! It's a very hard process though!




I'm pre-op so couldn't really say but it looks like you should mourn all the extra money you'll be spending on shopping :)))


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Dashofpixiedust8    1,469

Dashofpixiedust8
Posted

@njgal haha I definitely mourn that! I shop so much now. It's terrible because I don't stay in the sizes that long so I'm just wasting money but for the first time in a LONG time I can dress cute so I am! I was stuck in stretchy pants and Tshirts for too damn long. I refuse to wear them out in public now. My friends always ask my why I'm so dressed up all the time but they don't understand how much I hated only being able to wear stretchy pants that were a size 34/36 that were stretched to the limit and size 5x/6x tshirts that I had to stretch just to fit but they were still a little tight. I will never go back. I am going to wear my cute clothes and waste money.

The sales girls know me by name. lol it's terrible!

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njgal    535

njgal
Posted

What

1 minute ago, Dashofpixiedust8 said:

@njgal haha I definitely mourn that! I shop so much now. It's terrible because I don't stay in the sizes that long so I'm just wasting money but for the first time in a LONG time I can dress cute so I am! I was stuck in stretchy pants and Tshirts for too damn long. I refuse to wear them out in public now. My friends always ask my why I'm so dressed up all the time but they don't understand how much I hated only being able to wear stretchy pants that were a size 34/36 that were stretched to the limit and size 5x/6x tshirts that I had to stretch just to fit but they were still a little tight. I will never go back. I am going to wear my cute clothes and waste money.

The sales girls know me by name. lol it's terrible!

What an excellent problem to have though, right :)

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Dashofpixiedust8    1,469

Dashofpixiedust8
Posted

@njgal it is! I am now a size 14/16 to 18/20 top and 22 bottom. I probably am actually smaller on bottom but I have A LOT of extra skin. I am having it removed June 5th though! [emoji51]


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Dashofpixiedust8    1,469

Dashofpixiedust8
Posted

@deactivatedfatgal thanks!


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OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted

I'm not quite smaller than I was 13 but almost.

I have a hard time enjoying my surgery success because I feel embarrassed I was so delusional about my size for so long. I don't really feel like it is a victory to lose something I should have never gained in the first place.

So I understand the mixed feelings.

Keep going though you are rocking the weight loss. You have a better attitude than me, these last 20 pounds seem like hell compared to the for 150.

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Dashofpixiedust8    1,469

Dashofpixiedust8
Posted

@outsidematchinside the skirt is a size 22...I can't even accept that at age 13 I was a woman's size 22..

I understand your embarrassment. I honestly can't believe I let myself think I was okay at such a heavy weight. I'm a bit disgusted with myself.

Thank you for the encouragement! My weight is still coming off pretty rapidly (I lost 9 pounds last week) so I may start feeling differently once it slows as I get lower!

You are doing great though! I think I remember you started at a high weight like I did. I always appreciate your input on the boards here. I think you are very knowledgeable and give people a blunt kick in the ass when they need it. I know I need it sometimes!


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GrrlAnn    177

GrrlAnn
Posted

It is really inspirational to hear about those of you, who like me, have been overweight their whole lives and are finally losing weight postop. I am 4 months postop and am about 8 lbs from my lowest adult weight. These last few pounds are resisting via stall and I am going to power through soon. I really hope I'll come back to this post next year and blow away my modest goals with my progress. :) [emoji256]

Sent from my XT1585 using BariatricPal mobile app

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Deactivatedfatgal    377

Deactivatedfatgal
Posted (edited)

23 minutes ago, OutsideMatchInside said:

I'm not quite smaller than I was 13 but almost.

I have a hard time enjoying my surgery success because I feel embarrassed I was so delusional about my size for so long. I don't really feel like it is a victory to lose something I should have never gained in the first place.

So I understand the mixed feelings.

Keep going though you are rocking the weight loss. You have a better attitude than me, these last 20 pounds seem like hell compared to the for 150.

"Don't Really feel like it's a victory to lose something I should have never gained in the first place". Oh my god this is LITERALLY how I feel!

Edited by Deactivatedfatgal
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Dashofpixiedust8    1,469

Dashofpixiedust8
Posted

@grrlann I have been overweight since I was 3 years old. It's been a lifelong struggle, one I'm trying to break free of now. That's great you are doing so well! Congrats to you!


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Go To Topic Listing Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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