Will anyone see me?

[bellabloom 2,469]

I did have it short and too the point and then I changed it and it became wordy. I did have a part about what I wanted in a woman but then I didn't want to turn off someone. I'll have to revamp it. I tend to have a dry sense of humor and I'm not sure that comes out in text. My emails to women have been asking something about what they have in their profile. I purposely avoided commenting on their looks.

Well I think, from reading your profile, that you seem like a fun and sweet person with a lot to offer. The right woman will see that. Be encouraged!! Saying what you want in a partner won't turn women off. It's good to state those things. Complimenting a woman on her smile is always a good way to go. Definitely don't make comments about her body .... but a smile or saying she looks fun... interesting... joyful.... women like that. Don't give up. Just keep being yourself and going for what makes you happy. The right one is out there.

[sgc 538]

I shortened it up and added back what I'm looking for. Hopefully this will be better. I'll go back to some of the people I emailed and look at their profiles and maybe get their attention again to go back and look at my profile.

[FunkyMunkyBrat 205]

So, I'm a complicated widow of almost 4 years. I've tried the online dating thing a few times. Once quite recently. Because of my size I hate my full body picture taken. So I don't have many. I actually found one on my phone the other day and sent it to a man I'd been speaking to (texting with) and within hours of receiving the picture, he mysteriously loses his phone we've been texting on and he starts texting from a phone with a number from another state!
I had high hopes for this one,too. It took a lot of guts on my part to send him that picture to begin with. Now I'm questioning all the strength I built up to send it in the first place. It's like it's gone. If I can't trust someone to like or even love me for what's inside of me now, then how am I supposed to trust anyone to like or even love me when I'm a skinny Minnie?
Had anyone had these feelings or gone through this? Do you know anyone who's had the surgery and then met their one and them not question why now and not then?

I know complete what you mean but I feel like if they see my now pic and run the other way then good cuz I dont want to know them anyways.. Took a long time to be comfy in the skin Im in... My wls was because of health issues.. So yeah, I'm making them know me this way then if they keep wanting to know me I'll share that I had wls and I'm losing weight.. Love yourself the way you are and don't take it personal.. Its their issue not yours!!

Munky

[Hoping052017 97]

I know complete what you mean but I feel like if they see my now pic and run the other way then good cuz I dont want to know them anyways.. Took a long time to be comfy in the skin Im in... My wls was because of health issues.. So yeah, I'm making them know me this way then if they keep wanting to know me I'll share that I had wls and I'm losing weight.. Love yourself the way you are and don't take it personal.. Its their issue not yours!!

Munky

Thanks Munky! That's a great outlook. I actually did put myself out there after I originally posted this thread. I don't remember so many perverts the last time I tried this though. Lol. It has been a couple years and actually how I met my best friend. It didn't work out for us romantically, but we did become real great friends and I'm grateful to the heavens for that friendship.

Now to find a friendship like that that will lead to a romance and I'll be doing real good![emoji23]

[sgc 538]

Thanks Munky! That's a great outlook. I actually did put myself out there after I originally posted this thread. I don't remember so many perverts the last time I tried this though. Lol. It has been a couple years and actually how I met my best friend. It didn't work out for us romantically, but we did become real great friends and I'm grateful to the heavens for that friendship.

Now to find a friendship like that that will lead to a romance and I'll be doing real good![emoji23]

What makes them perverts? I've got over 100 emails out to women with no responses so maybe they think I'm a pervert.

[BigDaddy13 36]

Women must not like big guys because I am AWESOME! I am smart, funny, tall, good looking, have a great job, a great sense of humor, and most of all I am very humble!!! I just assume that most women are intimidated by me!

Hang in there, buddy!!! Oh by the way, dogs are better than people any day!

Good luck to you!!!

[Hoping052017 97]

What makes them perverts? I've got over 100 emails out to women with no responses so maybe they think I'm a pervert.

Only if you're asking them if they want to see you in all your glory in the very first message you send them. Lol

I had another ask me for a picture that I could take when I was alone. If I have to be alone to take the picture, I could only imagine what he wanted to see. Then when I told him I didn't like pictures taken of myself he made a very rude, crude, and socially unacceptable comment and I told him good luck in his search.

I had another flat out ask for a nude pic because fat women are hot.

This has only been in the last week or so.

It's scary.

Why can't I find decent guys like you and Big guy that are anywhere close to where I live? I've even had someone message me wanting a serious relationship from three states away.

Maybe it's because it was on Tinder and POF.

And do most guys expect to have sex before they'll even propose to a girl? There's a question on OKC that asks if it's necessary to have sex before a proposal or marriage is considered. Most of the responses I've seen say yes.

There was another question that asked after how many dates it's appropriate to have sex and most that I've seen anyway say between 3&5 dates. The first time I got married I was pregnant. Even though that's not possible for me anymore, is it just totally naive to want to do it right this time around?

I'm thinking I'm just an old fashioned hopeless romantic that wants to take her time before hopping into bed with someone. Most of the profiles I've seen make me feel like a shriveled prude.

I will respond to any message I'm sent until I don't feel comfortable with where the conversation is going or if the initial message is crude or perverted. So don't give up. She's out there somewhere

[MowryRocks 679]

Regardless of how other people are answering those questions, the only answer to those questions that should matter to you are how you would answer them. I'm not involved in online dating, but my sister is pretty hot and heavy into that scene and the only thing that has gotten her is 4 kids with 4 different dads.

[Hoping052017 97]

Women must not like big guys because I am AWESOME! I am smart, funny, tall, good looking, have a great job, a great sense of humor, and most of all I am very humble!!! I just assume that most women are intimidated by me! [emoji3]
Hang in there, buddy!!! Oh by the way, dogs are better than people any day!

Good luck to you!!!

I would love to meet someone with all those qualities BigDaddy13. I love to laugh and I love big guys. The taller the better. [emoji5] There's someone out there for all of us. We just gotta find them!

[blizair09 3,250]

@Hoping052017

My partner and I have been together for over 8 years. When we met (we were friends for a couple of years before we started dating), and after we started dating, we were a normal size (I weighed about 220 at the time, and he weighed about 180). We steadily gained weight together with me maxing out at 397 and him at 315. Now he weighs about 200 and I weigh about 210. He is done with his weight loss and I still have a little more I want to lose.

We have loved each other all along, and I am so thankful for him. Taking all this weight off together made the whole journey even more meaningful.

What is difficult for us now is the attention we get when we do decide to go out. Gay men are a breed of their own. It is hilarious the guys that will trip over stools to get to us now when a year ago, they wouldn't have even said hello. We have both been out of that side of the gay world for a while, so the aggressive nature of the whole thing is almost new to us, even though we've been in the game before (albeit a long time ago).

All this is to say that I understand your hesitations about people and their intentions. The right one will eventually come along, and I wish you the best as you seek to find him.

[sgc 538]

1 hour ago, Hoping052017 said:

Only if you're asking them if they want to see you in all your glory in the very first message you send them. Lol

I had another ask me for a picture that I could take when I was alone. If I have to be alone to take the picture, I could only imagine what he wanted to see. Then when I told him I didn't like pictures taken of myself he made a very rude, crude, and socially unacceptable comment and I told him good luck in his search.

I had another flat out ask for a nude pic because fat women are hot.

This has only been in the last week or so.

It's scary.

Why can't I find decent guys like you and Big guy that are anywhere close to where I live? I've even had someone message me wanting a serious relationship from three states away.

Maybe it's because it was on Tinder and POF.

And do most guys expect to have sex before they'll even propose to a girl? There's a question on OKC that asks if it's necessary to have sex before a proposal or marriage is considered. Most of the responses I've seen say yes.

There was another question that asked after how many dates it's appropriate to have sex and most that I've seen anyway say between 3&5 dates. The first time I got married I was pregnant. Even though that's not possible for me anymore, is it just totally naive to want to do it right this time around?

I'm thinking I'm just an old fashioned hopeless romantic that wants to take her time before hopping into bed with someone. Most of the profiles I've seen make me feel like a shriveled prude.

I will respond to any message I'm sent until I don't feel comfortable with where the conversation is going or if the initial message is crude or perverted. So don't give up. She's out there somewhere

I don't ask anything like that. I actually make it a point not to bring up looks on the first message. I find in my area the free sites bring a lot of unsavory people. I was liked by a professional dominatrix on POF. I have a lot of great matches on Match and eHarmony. Over 100 actually. That's not including the ones I was on the fence about and didn't message because I was tired of sending messages that don't get returned, or the ones I deemed out of my league. I'm guessing if there are that many good women in my area, then there must be a lot of guys I'm competing with. I've only been searching within 30 miles of my area. No shortage of potential matches, I just don't seem to have the magic touch.

[Hoping052017 97]

I don't ask anything like that. I actually make it a point not to bring up looks on the first message. I find in my area the free sites bring a lot of unsavory people. I was liked by a professional dominatrix on POF. I have a lot of great matches on Match and eHarmony. Over 100 actually. That's not including the ones I was on the fence about and didn't message because I was tired of sending messages that don't get returned, or the ones I deemed out of my league. I'm guessing if there are that many good women in my area, then there must be a lot of guys I'm competing with. I've only been searching within 30 miles of my area. No shortage of potential matches, I just don't seem to have the magic touch.

I hope I'm not getting too personal, but do you pay for the eHarmony and Match.com sites? I don't really have the money to pay for them, so I just use the free parts of them. [emoji53]

[BigDaddy13 36]

8 minutes ago, Hoping052017 said:

I hope I'm not getting too personal, but do you pay for the eHarmony and Match.com sites? I don't really have the money to pay for them, so I just use the free parts of them.

Try POF.com

It's a pay site, but you can actually message users without paying.

Match.com is HORRIBLE!!! There are mostly scammers and paid/fake profiles on there.

[sgc 538]

37 minutes ago, Hoping052017 said:

I hope I'm not getting too personal, but do you pay for the eHarmony and Match.com sites? I don't really have the money to pay for them, so I just use the free parts of them.

I only paid for a month to try it out. You can google and find coupon codes. There are fake accounts on Match but they are pretty easy to spot. When you see someone who looks like a model with a vague profile seeking men 20-80 and to email them at some gmail account, you know it's fake.

[Hoping052017 97]

I only paid for a month to try it out. You can google and find coupon codes. There are fake accounts on Match but they are pretty easy to spot. When you see someone who looks like a model with a vague profile seeking men 20-80 and to email them at some gmail account, you know it's fake.

Thank you. I figure I've only been on there a little over a week now, so hopefully someone will be real soon. [emoji1]