Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What to tell people?



Recommended Posts

I'm being sleeved on 19th April - I've told mum, my sister, Hubble and 1 friend. It is something really private that I don't feel comfortable telling people but I don't want to glibly say 'eating less and exercising' and perpetuating myth that will result in weight loss. Any suggestions for something vague but not dishonest to tell people?


My theory is tell them what you want them to know. This is your body, your choice. Period.
Best of luck!
My date is April 19, 2017.


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone is different. I was quite worried about this as well prior to my surgery and I decided on telling non-insider friends/family that I had Acid Reflux surgery as it sounded like it would fit into it. Then, that I just decided to take advantage of the surgery and become healthier with Portion Control.

However, I am a talker and it didn't take long before I was telling most everyone who asked. I'm not ashamed of it at all anymore (was cautious for a while). It's been a huge positive in my life and I actually encourage others who struggle with weight and have real health issues to look into it as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, PlzCoolerMe said:

Everyone is different. I was quite worried about this as well prior to my surgery and I decided on telling non-insider friends/family that I had Acid Reflux surgery as it sounded like it would fit into it. Then, that I just decided to take advantage of the surgery and become healthier with Portion Control.

However, I am a talker and it didn't take long before I was telling most everyone who asked. I'm not ashamed of it at all anymore (was cautious for a while). It's been a huge positive in my life and I actually encourage others who struggle with weight and have real health issues to look into it as well.

That what niece doing but she still not telling everyone she said telling ones that is struggle with weight and have real health issues to look into it as well and I wanted you to know that is very good of you

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 3/31/2017 at 2:20 AM, browneyesdebra said:

Only people that know I'm having surgery is my daughter sister -in-law niece and best friend and she passed away March 23,2017 and like she said I'm going tell them I'm working closely with my doctors to improve my health and I change my eating habits

So sorry for your loss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So far I've received a lot of support from basically everyone I told. My mother is the only one that disappointed me with some of her questions. And...because she's at an age when she forgets we had to go through it more than once.
I told my bosses who were 100% supportive and told me to work from home as much as I needed to get back to full strength.
I'm flying my sister in to be with me for the surgery and first several days post op. She's been very supportive and will be a great help.
I haven't decided what to say to other people who ask so I appreciate reading the feedback here. The biggest reaction I'm expecting is from my football buddies. The last time they saw me in November was at my highest weight. I'm set for my sleeve in May and expect that I'll be down a very noticeable amount come labor day weekend (already down 30 lbs).

Sent from my SM-G920V using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I too was worried about what people would think as well, however I decided I was done hiding my feelings and my truth.

I was blessed to tell a few people who had either had the surgery or knew someone that had the surgery. People will always judge, however no one is walking in my shoes, but me.

It is so freeing to just speak my truth. That said, I tell people the truth 95% of time and most people are supportive. I also set ground rules with others, keep your opinion to yourself and I will as well - however if you don't, I won't.

Going to support group has helped me tell my story. This is an amazing change that is life transforming. I'm not hiding this blessing...

Oh by the way.... I've lost 135lbs in 5.5months. This is not a secret method of gall bladder surgery or carb limitations. Own your story.

Then, be ready to help the next person. Your favorite store for clothes will notice you buying clothes, dropping sizes, etc....

If you must keep the silence, at least create an environment somewhere that you can be free. How long have we all been hiding our pain ice cream, Cookies, big clothes, bad attitudes, tears, etc....




Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, JenH76 said:

We have the same surgery date!!!


Very exciting!! Start 2 week pre-op diet this week - stressed about that! But can't wait to get my life back on track. Best of luck 😊

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've really only had one person that reacted quasi-negatively ("If that's what you want, I guess it's ok." and, "I couldn't do that, I want to lose the weight on my own.").
I think WLS is definitely becoming less stigmatized, especially here in the Midwest, where all the fat people live. :lol:


"I want to lose weight on my own"????
Like someone else is losing it for you??[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]you're still doing all the work!


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very true - this is a tool. You still have to learn what to eat, how to prepare it, when to eat it, the right combinations, etc.

Anybody that says this is the easy way out is not connected. Anybody that says it's all about the surgery needs more education.

My perspective do this for you and you alone. No kids, no spouse, no family or friends. Now if they all support you that is great but this has to be a personal commitment to change your life. "SAVE YOUR LIFE"

Tell or don't tell - but get thick skin so the comments of others become irrelevant because you are changing your life!!! For the better!!


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very true - this is a tool. You still have to learn what to eat, how to prepare it, when to eat it, the right combinations, etc.

Anybody that says this is the easy way out is not connected. Anybody that says it's all about the surgery needs more education.

My perspective do this for you and you alone. No kids, no spouse, no family or friends. Now if they all support you that is great but this has to be a personal commitment to change your life. "SAVE YOUR LIFE"

Tell or don't tell - but get thick skin so the comments of others become irrelevant because you are changing your life!!! For the better!!




I agree with you 1000%. It has to be a personal commitment. We got ourselves where we're at. So it's up to ourselves to work hard and get where we want. I'm currently on a liquid diet and my husband wanted to go out to eat. I told him to not feel bad. I made this choice myself and I need to have to stay strong and not give in to temptations if I want to be successful. I sipped on broth as they ate food. I was ok. It did smell good though. lol but I was just fine. Good luck on your journey!


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very true - this is a tool. You still have to learn what to eat, how to prepare it, when to eat it, the right combinations, etc.

Anybody that says this is the easy way out is not connected. Anybody that says it's all about the surgery needs more education.

My perspective do this for you and you alone. No kids, no spouse, no family or friends. Now if they all support you that is great but this has to be a personal commitment to change your life. "SAVE YOUR LIFE"

Tell or don't tell - but get thick skin so the comments of others become irrelevant because you are changing your life!!! For the better!!


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


I agree with you 1000%. It has to be a personal commitment. We got ourselves where we're at. So it's up to ourselves to work hard and get where we want. I'm currently on a liquid diet and my husband wanted to go out to eat. I told him to not feel bad. I made this choice myself and I need to have to stay strong and not give in to temptations if I want to be successful. I sipped on broth as they ate food. I was ok. It did smell good though. lol but I was just fine. Good luck on your journey!



It is a balanced approach. Earlier I took my family out to eat. I had my food scale on the table, broiled fish, broccoli, salad... To those at the beginning - you will eat out again, however it must be clean eating (no oil, no butter, etc). My family is ready to go way before me, but we are in this together. So the kids get to color and I get to finish my meal.

The time will come for you to try new things. Stay strong as you are... [emoji122][emoji122][emoji122]


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very exciting!! Start 2 week pre-op diet this week - stressed about that! But can't wait to get my life back on track. Best of luck [emoji4]

I meet with my surgeon Tuesday. I'm sure she'll start my 2 week diet then. I'm excited, nervous and can't wait to start my new life. I'm looking forward to shopping at Forever 21[emoji6] And wearing a bathing suit in our family vacation this summer.



Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×