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Mandatory Support Group/ Feeling discouraged



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I just came back from my first support group meeting you are required to do two before surgery. The group is a mix of pre and post op. I am completely discourage I felt like it was just everyone telling you what you can never have again post sleeve. I know that it's a lifestyle change and things are hard after but just hearing all the post opts just telling you what you can never have again and the chewing slow forever and no Water with meals my brain feels like it's gonna explode and now I'm like what am I getting myself into. Support group had the opposite effect tonight

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I just came back from my first support group meeting you are required to do two before surgery. The group is a mix of pre and post op. I am completely discourage I felt like it was just everyone telling you what you can never have again post sleeve. I know that it's a lifestyle change and things are hard after but just hearing all the post opts just telling you what you can never have again and the chewing slow forever and no Water with meals my brain feels like it's gonna explode and now I'm like what am I getting myself into. Support group had the opposite effect tonight [emoji26]



Don't let it get you down. I was forced to attend two as well. The pre surgery folks said almost nothing. The meeting was dominated by post surgery folks who had no life before WLS and have been reborn thru the process.

I'm guessing that they had become insignificant obese "faces in a crowd" before and now they're filled with confidence - which is great, but now they're persona as a "WLS success story" defines who they are.

I'm not saying we don't have to eat healthy post sleeve, I'm just saying it's much easier to do when you can barely eat 8 ounces of solid food at one sitting and you can exercise without lugging the weight of a small person on your back.

WLS has its own social world. If you want it or need it, it'll be there for you. If you don't, it'll be in your life's rear view mirror before you know it!

#zeroregrets


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Don't let it get you down. I was forced to attend two as well. The pre surgery folks said almost nothing. The meeting was dominated by post surgery folks who had no life before WLS and have been reborn thru the process.

I'm guessing that they had become insignificant obese "faces in a crowd" before and now they're filled with confidence - which is great, but now they're persona as a "WLS success story" defines who they are.

I'm not saying we don't have to eat healthy post sleeve, I'm just saying it's much easier to do when you can barely eat 8 ounces of solid  food at one sitting and you can exercise without lugging the weight of a small person on your back.

WLS has its own social world. If you want it or need it, it'll be there for you. If you don't, it'll be in your life's rear view mirror before you know it!

#zeroregrets



Thank you! CapeCronner that's exactly what I need to hear at the moment


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50 minutes ago, kad_82 said:

I just came back from my first support group meeting you are required to do two before surgery. The group is a mix of pre and post op. I am completely discourage I felt like it was just everyone telling you what you can never have again post sleeve. I know that it's a lifestyle change and things are hard after but just hearing all the post opts just telling you what you can never have again and the chewing slow forever and no Water with meals my brain feels like it's gonna explode and now I'm like what am I getting myself into. Support group had the opposite effect tonight emoji26.png

I'm going to be honest.

I never chewed slowly, I still don't. I don't chew a ton of times, my chewing is basically the same as it ever was. I could never master the slow chewing and I hate cold food, so I never ate super slow either.

I sometimes drink with my meals because I would rather take a sip than choke to death, I know crazy. there are something I have that I drink with, like I will drink Water and eat a Protein Bar. Mainly because a Protein bar is a lot of calories that can be consumed in a few bites and drinking water with it stretches it out. I didn't do this until past the one year mark but I do it. As long as your portions are measured and you know your capacity, eating and drinking isn't a big deal. You won't do it much just out of habit because it can cause you to be overly full very fast or push your food though. This is learned behavior by following your food progression post-op. It won't seem weird or like a punishment, it will seem normal. After the one year mark I sometimes eat and drink when I am in public eating situations but it is pretty rare. I grew up not eating and drinking so this doesn't seem like odd behavior to me. It really isn't something worth getting hung up on. You are only going to need to follow it rigorously for the first 6 months, and that is just to prevent being overly full.

Long term you can eat anything with the sleeve unless you have complications. The question is will you want to eat these things. You probably won't long term, but you might short term. I love orange juice, I mean love it. I have had it twicee in the past 2 years at special occasion brunches. It was amazing, but I don't crave it because it isn't a part of my normal diet. That is what following your food steps and retraining yourself on how you feel and think about food does. I can have orange juice if I want, it doesn't make me dump or anything. I just don't want it.

Lastly a lot of people are going to those groups just to lord things over people. I have been very successful in my opinion and I have never been to a group. When I was in orientation and I saw how people were asking about having toast and oatmeal post-op, I already knew those groups wouldn't be for me.

WLS is like being a parent. Everyone tells you how hard babies are and that they cry etc. No one warns you about teenagers, college age kids, and being a parent to an adult child. Those are the really hard parts, People just focus on the beginning. The beginning of WLS is tough because you are healing, long term, as long as you don't have complications, you are not every different from anyone else. You just have a smaller stomach.

The end game, maintenance and almost being at goal is way harder than the beginning.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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