Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Telling Friends and Family about surgery



Recommended Posts

Did you tell all of your friends and family that you were having the surgery or not? Not sure what to do! My husband knows and other than that I haven't told anyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my dad, aunt and best friend. That's it. Really no one's business. I told the ones I'm close to so they could support me throughout my journey.


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my husband and son since they live with me. I told my mom after the surgery was over because she would have tried to talk me out of it. Not because she wouldn't support me but because she would have worried.

That's it and they are sworn to secrecy:-) It's my business and I need zero negativity. And I mean zero.

It has been so much easier without the stress of having to explain myself. When they ask why I am eating so little, I smile and say I'm on another diet. Wish me luck!

Lol...I'm 25 pounds down and all the potential naysayers are really proud of me.

Take care.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my husband and son since they live with me. I told my mom after the surgery was over because she would have tried to talk me out of it. Not because she wouldn't support me but because she would have worried.

That's it and they are sworn to secrecy:-) It's my business and I need zero negativity. And I mean zero.

It has been so much easier without the stress of having to explain myself. When they ask why I am eating so little, I smile and say I'm on another diet. Wish me luck!

Lol...I'm 25 pounds down and all the potential naysayers are really proud of me.

Take care.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my husband and son since they live with me. I told my mom after the surgery was over because she would have tried to talk me out of it. Not because she wouldn't support me but because she would have worried.

That's it and they are sworn to secrecy:-) It's my business and I need zero negativity. And I mean zero.

It has been so much easier without the stress of having to explain myself. When they ask why I am eating so little, I smile and say I'm on another diet. Wish me luck!

Lol...I'm 25 pounds down and all the potential naysayers are really proud of me.

Take care.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've told my best friend. That's it. I am scared to fail. If I do, I don't want anyone knowing about it.

We all know this road isn't going to be easy, but the perception is that I'm taking the easy way out. Cheating my way out of obesity. One day I may feel an obligation to stand up for having chosen this path, but right now, I just want to get through it.



Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, nitasjourney said:

Oh yea and people on my YouTube page lol

This made me smile...so in other words, EVERYONE. Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my dad, aunt and best friend. That's it. Really no one's business. I told the ones I'm close to so they could support me throughout my journey. Everyone else can make assumptions [emoji4]


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone around me knows. I've got support. If they don't support, they haven't said anything and I don't care really. In the beginning I only told my husband and my brother. But decided to just let them (family, close friends, coworkers (only have 3 of them)) all know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband knows, and my brother. I thought my brother would talk me out of it, so I was pleasantly surprised when he was really okay about it. My husband just keeps asking me if I'm scared, or what I'll do about excess skin, so not overly supportive. I have a friend who had it done, she's the one that told me about it, and although I haven't yet told her I'm following in her footsteps, I know she'll be there for me when/if I decide to. I'd love to tell her, but if I do, then everyone else will know, and I'm just not ready to tell yet. Maybe I'll let people know afterwards, but for the moment, I'm happy to keep it to my self. I've got a couple of weeks to go now, and each day is going slower and slower. X


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My rule is as follows: Tell people to Inform Them, NOT to Affirm You. This is about YOU more than it is about anyone else in your life (including your spouse/partner and/or children). Your decision is one of courage and conviction, not convenience. Tell the people who you believe should know and will be impacted by your immediate recovery phases (Surgery, Phase 1 & 2 of the post-op diet). Anyone else is a matter of personal comfort.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd posted earlier with this same question. I'm two days away from surgery now . My brother in law had vsg 16 months ago so it felt natural to tell my sibs. My husband and kids of course know. I did tell my BFF's early on for the purpose of accountability. But I have struggled with this. The coworker that covers for me is aware as we've seen each other thru the death of his spouse, we are like siblings. I have examined my conscience though and realize the only reason I fear telling people is that they'll know I am "fat". . My brother in law simply told people that he'd "decided to take his health back". Works for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×