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I cannot decide if I should do this or not



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So, hi! I'm brand new here. I'm gathering information. I've been to the sleeve seminar, called my insurance, and have my first appointment on Tuesday. I go back and forth about this surgery almost hourly. I am prediabetic, prehypertensive, probably have sleep apnea, have GERD, PCOS, joint problems, and other things. My BMI is 42. I apparently can't lose any more than 10 pounds during this process or my insurance won't approve it. So I can't even try to lose on my own or else I'll have to start over. The earliest I could have the surgery is mid July. I'm scared of after surgery. I'm scared of complications. I'm scared of regretting it. I'm also scared of losing 2/3 of a major, vital organ. I'm very scared of the health problems that I'm headed for if I don't do this. This isn't really about what I look like - I don't want to have a heart attack in front of my kids. I don't want to die. But I also don't want to have a lifetime of complications from the surgery.

I'm not good at decisions.

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It sounds like without the surgery you are headed down the same road most everyone here was on too. I hope you make the right decision for you, but I can tell you I'm super happy with my results. It literally changed my life. I made the right decision for me... I trust you'll make the right one for you.


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I had similar background...high blood pressure, apnea, cholesterol and pre diabetic when I finally made the decision. After years of struggling with weight, I did not want to die of a heart attack and not be there for my wife and especially my kids.

The surgery is not a quick decision to make, and remember, it is only a tool to help change your lifestyle and improve your health.

I am now two weeks post surgery, feeling great and already prior meds have been cut in half. I go for sleep test in late March and god willing, will no longer need CPAP.

This was my experience, I wish you all the best while making yours.

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Only you can make this decision.

That said, I had a similar health history as you and started at a similar BMI.

My thinking in the risk of surgery is that it was exactly that - a risk - versus the certainty of the health consequences of continuing on the path I was on.

I also struggled with whether I would regret it. I like food. I used food as a coping mechanism. Food was tied to all my favorite things. I had to get over that. I still struggle with it.

But my BMI is 28 now, and my health is great. I thinking about taking up rock climbing. My life is really great right now because I had the surgery. It's not always easy, but no regrets.

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Only you can make this decision.

That said, I had a similar health history as you and started at a similar BMI.

My thinking in the risk of surgery is that it was exactly that - a risk - versus the certainty of the health consequences of continuing on the path I was on.

I also struggled with whether I would regret it. "

I like [mention=297401]ryan_86[/mention] what you brought up about food is completely how I feel. food has become our entertainment, my comfort, my relaxer, all of that. I need to find something to replace that addiction.

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I just had my surgery on monday. I came home from the hospital yesterday and I was a little emotional yesterday, second guessing my decision and feeling an emptiness?? Emotionally better today, physically I don't feel bad at all. Trying to keep moving.

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I'm 10 days post op. I'll be honest, I didn't expect the pain to be this painful. It gets better everyday but emotionally, I'm sick of being weak from the surgery. It's a huge & life changing decision only you can decide for yourself. Even though I'm sort of emotionally drained, I've already lost 20 lbs since the liquid pre-op diet. I could never lose even that much weight before. If I could, I wouldn't have gotten the surgery. But in your condition, this will be a positive result for you since you need to lose weight. Ask yourself can you do it on your own by sticking to a strict diet or am I willing to go to the extreme with surgery? Complications are low according to statistics I've read. My hospital has 0 fatalities with weight loss surgery.


Height 5'0"
Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs.
Surgery date: 2/13/17
Goal: - 71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs).
Current weight: 194.4 lbs
My profile picture is not me. It's my "FitSpiration" body.

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The "what ifs" can be so scary. The fear of the unknown...

But, we don't know our future either way. The surgery is unknown and whether or not issues will arise and also NOT doing anything is unknown. Either way, you need to decide for yourself. Both are a choice.

Personally, I chose the risk for the hopeful reward. Doing something for my health in a positive way was the best choice for me.

This is not a quick fix or an easy road. You will still have to work at it every day. I had complications in the beginning that landed me back in the hospital for an additional week. I then had a wicked round of nausea that lasted for about a month and half. Things can happen and they can be awful but they can be that way if you choose not to have the surgery.

I am the healthiest I have ever been and am able to run, hike and actually participate in life. Once you decide, time will seem to stand still but then afterwards, it will fly by!! Best wishes for you!




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So, hi! I'm brand new here. I'm gathering information. I've been to the sleeve seminar, called my insurance, and have my first appointment on Tuesday. I go back and forth about this surgery almost hourly. I am prediabetic, prehypertensive, probably have sleep apnea, have GERD, PCOS, joint problems, and other things. My BMI is 42. I apparently can't lose any more than 10 pounds during this process or my insurance won't approve it. So I can't even try to lose on my own or else I'll have to start over. The earliest I could have the surgery is mid July. I'm scared of after surgery. I'm scared of complications. I'm scared of regretting it. I'm also scared of losing 2/3 of a major, vital organ. I'm very scared of the health problems that I'm headed for if I don't do this. This isn't really about what I look like - I don't want to have a heart attack in front of my kids. I don't want to die. But I also don't want to have a lifetime of complications from the surgery.

I'm not good at decisions.




If you have gerd, most surgeons will advise against the sleeve. Gerd gets worse for many.



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If you have gerd, most surgeons will advise against the sleeve. Gerd gets worse for many.




I don't know that this is correct. At the seminar I went to, he said GERD would be much improved. I will ask when I go to my appt n


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I don't know that this is correct. At the seminar I went to, he said GERD would be much improved. I will ask when I go to my appt n



Keep researching. Heres what my surgeon said when i went to my first consult and?wanted the sleeve. I told him I had gerd for years. He said, "what I have been seei g with the sleeve, about 1/3 of sleeve patients will have gerd following the sleeve peocedure. But what Im seeing is?the 4 to 5 months out patients have severe gerd and end up having a revision to RNY". I myself refuse to chance it. At 58 im not having 2 surgeries. Best of luck to you.



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If you aren't sure then you shouldn't have surgery.

You should have a clear idea that surgery is for you, it is your best option and it is going to save your life.

Knowing that surgery is your best and only option makes getting through the hard times easier. It makes resisting food easier.

You will have fewer regrets in the long run.

You posted you are emotionally attached to food, you need to work that out before surgery or once you can't self medicate/comfort with food you will be miserable. It is like going cold turkey off heroin. You can't self soothe with food post-op at least not immediately and if you are not in a good mental space with food you will be tempted to advance your food stages and put yourself in danger or you will just be miserable and full of regret.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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