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Going out to eat is depressing...

Mandybb

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Mandybb    183

Mandybb
Posted

This is a rough time! During Christmas I was on my liver shrink diet, then New Years, my anniversary was last month, then Super Bowl and now Valentines! I go with my husband out to eat and Celebrate but there is no celebration anymore. The waitresses always ask if the food was bad because I only eat 5 bites, they constantly watch to see if I'm enjoying so I'm being watched on top of being full an hour before my husband. So I just sit there watching him gorge himself and not gain a pound (hate his metabolism). I feel uncomfortable and out of place to where the experience isn't enjoyable but he doesn't understand. I ask him to share his food so I don't feel awkward but he says he's hungry.

Going out used to be the highlight of my day and now I'm left underwhelmed and bored. I tried to tell my husband we need to start doing other activities not surrounded around food but food is still a major part of his life. He's very supportive of me but I'm struggling to find common ground. What new activities do some of the vets do now that they didn't before to keep the peace?

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cuchas    51

cuchas
Posted

You can always take the food to go! I still love to go out to eat and I'll be on my second year this summer. I don't eat everything, but always take a to go bag with me :)

It doesn't stop me from enjoying our lunch / dinner dates because you guys can still talk while he eats. Look at this way... you will have plenty of yummy left overs to eat later when he already finished all his :P I always look forward to my leftovers lol saves money too!

Besides food, you can go to the movies, miniature golf, amusement parks... whatever you did before, whatever hobbies you have, you guys can still do :)

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Mandybb    183

Mandybb
Posted (edited)

I probably should mention my husband is in the military and INHALES his food. He's never been one for much discussion but before it wasn't as noticeable because I was inhaling my food as well. I played Trivia the whole time at Chili's today. I might mention we have been married 19 years and our lives and travels have revolved around food or wine. I need to connect with him and it's difficult because the one thing we shared a love for is gone. I guess movies would be a good option, but the smell of butter popcorn is a bit overwhelming for me right now. Thanks for the advice though. I need a hobby and then drag him to it. I was thinking boot camp training after my strength returns. He loves working out, me not so much.

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Edited by Mandybb

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LittleLizzieLilliput    919

LittleLizzieLilliput
Posted

I don't know if this will help but it's just a suggestion. I eat very slow now when I go out so I can stay on pace with my dinner-mates. I take a bite and then lean back. I also do a lot more talking now as I dont' have my mouth full. lol!

I also take it as an opportunity to try different flavors on my Proteins. So I get something different to try. I also love knowing that I can just order off the appetizer menu now. lol! That's always fun.

But I agree, it is important that you come up with different things to connect with your husband on. I know after work it's hard to do something other than just go out to eat. Maybe bowling?? I know that sounds nuts but he can eat/drink while bowling? Something like that. Sorry, just brainstorming.

Also, maybe do some of those mystery dinner things or the dinner and a show. That way you can start to combine things?

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Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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