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Trouble with friends

rmonique

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rmonique    5

rmonique
Posted

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I was sleeved on 1/5/17, so I'm almost 4 wks out. I'm having issues with a co worker that I used to be very close to. We used to go out and I'd even stay over her house after. We were very close. Recently, seems as if when my weight loss started to show, she's been very distant. Doesn't wanna talk to me or even be around me at all. She even made a big deal over nothing and told our boss on me to get me in trouble. Now she treats me as if we were never friends. I've asked her if I have offended her in any way; her reply was no. But obviously something is going on. I don't know what to do. I have to work with her. Has anyone else been through anything like this???

Hw~296

Cw~256

Gw~?195? comfortable

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C_Lush77    16

C_Lush77
Posted

Honey give her the hand. As long as she know her actions are going to make you feel some type of way she will continue to cut up. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season. So as you go through this awesome transition everyone isn't going to be excited. I haven't even had surgery and I have started to loose friends.

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LittleLizzieLilliput    919

LittleLizzieLilliput
Posted

You have so many amazing things coming up with all the changes you are going to be going through these next 12 months. Forget her. Like, literally, forget her. It might not be your weight loss, maybe it's something else but it doesn't matter. She won't tell you, she's trying to get you in trouble. Either way your friendship is over for now so try to just focus on how fantastic you are going to be feeling and looking! You will be so happy and active. Sadly it sounds like you need to leave her behind with all the old clothes because like them she doesn't fit you anymore for whatever reason. I'm sorry for her, but for you? I'm so excited! The world is opening up to you, even if she won't.

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AnaDmom3    66

AnaDmom3
Posted

Live your life and enjoy it. If she is like this after a month just think what she'll be like after your loose even more weight. Start making new friends and deal with her as just a co-worker. Some people can't hide their jealousy whether she is thin and was always comforted by you being her big friend or she is overweight and now you won't be. No one needs friends like that!

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rmonique    5

rmonique
Posted

So true AnaDmon3! I don't need that negativity in my life, especially with things going so well for me. I'm actually happy, and I'm loving it! Bye bye Negative Nancy!!!

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Berry78    4,261

Berry78
Posted

It is easy to want to dump people that start treating you badly, but since you have to work with her, it is worthwhile to spend a bit of time trying to change the relationship into a functional one.

First off, does she know you had surgery? What was your relationship like before? Can you think of the first time that things felt different between you?

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sarahblu    179

sarahblu
Posted

I hate that there are people like this all around us! We all made a positive and healthy decision and for once truly took control over our lives! Some people just can't rally behind you...whether it be jealousy, strong opinions etc. Mostly, they have low self esteem and instead of focusing on themselves, they attack you. I am very sad for those people. Just trust in yourself and your journey! If they were meant to be in your life, it will work itself out. If not, rid yourself of the negativity! Good luck and congrats on your progress...you are a rock star!!

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Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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