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How do you handle people asking questions



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How do you handle people asking "what your doing to lose weight" or asking "how much weight have you lost" I am worried about how to handle questions.

I am not comfortable talking about weight with other people. I am not telling anyone other than my family about surgery, and I am expected to lose 85-125lbs (which I know is noticeable weight loss) is there any easy way to try and shut down people asking, like just brush it off like, "oh I don't know, just being healthy" I am pre surgery and have mentioned to friends/ coworkers that I am trying to get healthy and eating right.

I am also planning to call my surgery a hernia surgery, as an explanation since I will be out of work for a bit and obviously people will ask and wonder and that would explain soreness etc in my stomach area... Has anyone else used this excuse?

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I also chose to tell only a few close family members about the VSG. I have EXTEREMLY nosey neighbors (a friend of mine) so they actually suspected me of having bariatric surgery. I told them I had hernia surgery because my hubby slipped and said I had surgery (but not what type).

When people were shocked at how quickly I was losing, I said I'm working out and eating high Protein low carb - which is true (yet omitting the teeny portions). I just stuck to that and now they don't ask except for "what are you doing" advice. Then I share snack ideas etc and then move on.

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Only a handful of people know I had surgery. For the others--including the neighbors in front of me, etc.--they don't know anything.

IF someone asks, "what are you doing to lose weight?" [present tense]; or "what did you do to lose...?" I say "I really had to let go of the carbs, so I mostly eat high Protein, etc." Fact. I tell them how wonderful it is to have steak, crab, eggs, bacon, etc.; no carbs, no white stuff. Plus the neighbors now see me walking some, so they conclude that has helped, as well.

IF it's someone I know very well, and I KNOW they are struggling with their fat (and are depressed, etc), AND I feel I can trust them, if they ask, I will tell them I had wls. Or I may ask "have you thought about wls/the sleeve, etc.?"

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As a private person usually I would keep my surgery and weight loss journey to myself but I have done the complete opposite. I am 100 percent proud of my decision and am open about it with co workers, friends, family, etc. It is your life and your choices, do what feels best just for you.

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I usually say I had wls but sometimes when I feel like a smart ass I say something like my husband locks the refrigerator or I've been banned from the grocery stores.

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I've avoided seeing friends in the past bc of how much weight I had gained. I missed out on so many things and people became curious and also took my absence personally. The decision for WLS is something that I'm weirdly okay with telling people about now. At first I thought "oh hell no! I'm not telling anyone!" I care way too much what people think. So this time I'm not caring. If it means I'm happy and healthy then who cares! It's not their body to judge. Wish I would've had this mentality all along. I am only 3 days post-op so no questions about my WLS yet. Someone once told me they say "I've been hardcore watching my portions and sticking to low carb/high Protein. I've also stepped up my gym game" it's definitely not a lie!

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I said nothing. It's my journey! I eat smaller portions, Protein and increased Water. I'm so Not a private person so yes hard. But because people aren't educated on this surgery and what it's for, say nothing. You will find a lot of negativity. And it's usually from those who are skinny and/or healthy. And the surgery isn't a quick fix. It takes a lifestyle change.

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Only a handful of people know about my surgery. To those that don't and ask me how I lose weight all I say is I eat a little and work out a lot. I'm not lying - I do eat very little and I do work out a lot.

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I say the same thing. "Eating less, exercising more". I usually get a nod and they move on.

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PS: My decision to not tell whomever is not about what they might think, etc. It's just that I'm a very private person and don't tell folks my business. We live in a day and time where folks share almost everything. I've never been like that and just stick to (I guess my medical code of) patient confidentiality...even when I'm the patient. It works for me.

I have seen on here (and elsewhere) that sometimes people tell this one and that, and get hit with all kinds of negativity, judgments and ignorance, just as they are journeying toward, and through, a very personal decision. I try to avoid "vain babblings" of the uninformed or even naysayers, who don't know, nor understand one's personal struggle...with weight or whatever. Just my approach to serenity.

It's a personal choice for all, how to handle telling or not. But I think the majority of us are dang sure happy we made this decision!! Looking and feeling so fine, and happy, and sexy, and confident, etc. I should have done this sooner. God Bless the USA...and the VSG.

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I just found its easier to tell people I had surgery. I figured they would know anyway when they see me eating 3/4 Oz of food.

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I'm not embarrassed for having this surgery at all. I'd be more embarrassed if I chose to remain a fat bastard for another 10 years. So far, I've told my wife, parents, boss and work friend. All had been positive about it. I don't necessarily look for anyone's support though. I've been pretty self-reliant my entire life. I get great support from this site whenever I have questions and that's all I really need.

I am waiting, however, for the day someone asks how I lost all this weight and I'm going to say "I had a procedure done, I had my refrigerator stapled". I've been saving that joke for long time!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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