BariatricPal Policy Reminders – Everyone Please Read!

[Alex Brecher 10,516]

BariatricPal Members,

I wanted to remind you all about BariatricPal’s purpose and policies. If you do not want to read this entire post, please at least read the following points!

• BariatricPal is a safe place for the weight loss surgery community.
• No rudeness or disrespect will be permitted.
• Your use of BariatricPal implies your acceptance of the Forum Rules.
• Failure to follow the Forum Rules can lead to consequences included lifetime bans from BariatricPal.

Now for the complete version:

I created BariatricPal in 2003 to help other bariatric surgery patients. I want the forums to be able to help everyone reach their weight loss surgery and health goals. My goal is to maintain the forums as a place for weight loss surgery patients and potential patients to come for information and support.

BariatricPal is intended to be a safe place for the entire weight loss surgery community. I want EVERY SINGLE MEMBER to feel welcome on this board. You should feel comfortable asking questions, expressing doubts, and sharing advice, insights, and experiences.

Unfortunately, this has not been the case recently. I have heard from multiple sources that some members are uncomfortable here. They feel attacked when they post. I have heard this not only from newbie and veteran members, but also from bariatric surgeons, nurses, and psychologists who are members of ASMBS and who have heard concerns about BariatricPal from their patients.

A tiny minority of BariatricPal members are responsible for creating these concerns. The vast majority of BariatricPal members have wonderful, helpful, positive, and informative posts. I thank you for that. You are responsible for BariatricPal’s success.

A few of you, I suspect, truly want to help, but may come off sounding a little harsher than you meant. This can be off-putting to members who have sincere questions and are looking for guidance. To prevent accidentally hurting other members, I urge you to re-read the Forum Rules for suggestions on making your posts helpful rather than hurtful.

There is a tiny minority of BariatricPal members who have gone far beyond the occasional misconstrued post. It is these members who have prevented the forums from being a safe place for everyone. They repeatedly and intentionally start threads or respond to members with disparaging or rude remarks. They often imply or state outright that they are correct and that other posters are doomed to fail. They send private messages urging their friends to bully other members who disagree with them. This does not create a safe space for members!

Anyone who violates the Forum Rules is subject to consequences, include being permanently banned from BariatricPal.

The Forum Rules state, “All members have the right to express their opinions and are encouraged to do so while maintaining a courteous tone.” Disagreeing with someone and expressing yourself politely to say so is one thing. Intentionally hurting others is quite another. If you are unsure of how to respond to a post without being rude, please refer to the Forum Rules for examples and guidelines.

Again, I thank the overwhelming majority of BariatricPal members who are just trying to help, and who have done a wonderful job of lending a hand or ear to those who need it. I hope you all recognize the value you each bring to the boards, and you consider how you can contribute in the most constructive way possible.

Thank you!

[Autumn Fury 67]

Please remove my account from BP and do not send me any future emails . I can no longer stand all the drama. Thank you.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

[heidikat72 935]

Please delete my account as well. When valuable resources of information are banned while leaving accounts who swear and name call, this site is no longer useful for me

[Hammer_Down 631]

Please delete my account. I have implored you by post, by PM and now for the third time - please delete my account and cease sending me emails about the store.

I have no interest in being censored or being "allowed" to read only what you decide I am allowed to read.

[Odie 249]

Please delete my account. I have been harassed and bullied but took it on the chin even though these people were newbies and some haven't even had surgery yet!! I can almost guarantee that these are the people who complained to you and about this site!!

[KristenLe 5,980]

Please remove my account as well from both the forum and the Store. I do not want to be part of a site such as this. It's all about making $ for you and your surgeons.

[ShelterDog64 2,364]

@@Alex Brecher **Unfortunately, this has not been the case recently. I have heard from multiple sources that some members are uncomfortable here. They feel attacked when they post. I have heard this not only from newbie and veteran members, but also from bariatric surgeons, nurses, and psychologists who are members of ASMBS and who have heard concerns about BariatricPal from their patients.**

What a bunch of CRAP, Alex. Let me tell you what *I* heard about BP from my surgeon, his nurses and my dietitian: that it's primarily pre-ops or new post-ops sharing bad information, with a store attached to it.

The funny thing? They were right. You banning people with no warning has taken away 2 of the reasons I bothered to keep coming here. I don't need more newbs crying because they need 'support' when they're eating ribs and corn on the cob 2 weeks post-op...my IRL support group is stuffed to the gills with them. I need the people with the guts to tell them it's a bad idea.

[this sucks 557]

Please delete my account too. I left LapBandTalk many years ago when bullying got to be an issue and wasn't addressed. When I returned to the "new and improved" BariatricPal, I hoped I would find a source of information where intelligent adults could have an adult conversation.

I was wrong. BP has become a business-not a source of discussion and support.

The banning of several veterans, (without the courtesy of notifying them) is proof that you Alex have made a decision.

Better to create a "safe space" for individuals than a true open forum.

Have fun with your new world without experienced individuals willing to share a wealth of knowledge.

Wipe my account clean. I'm too old for this crap

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Aggiemae 739]

A "safe place" for reckless idiots who consistently give each other bad advice....brilliant concept.

But if you where halfway honest with your self you would admit the obvious, the intention of this group is to funnel new customers into business run buy you and your friends.

Please remove me from this site and from all your lists as I am sick of the spam email that started right when I joined BP.

[Alex Brecher 10,516]

I won't be deleting any accounts. You are more than welcome to unsubscribe from our emails and go your merry way.

The straw that broke the camels back was a group of weight loss surgeons, bariatric psychologists, and other integrated health members that approached me recently at a weight loss surgery conference I was attending. They said they love suggesting BariatricPal to their patients but were very concerned about some bullying that was taking place. They didn't feel it was a "safe" place for their patients. Many of our members ended up becoming overweight because of the bullying and trauma they had suffered earlier on in life. It's quite sickening that they should be required to re-live the same trauma while seeking "support" online!

I opened up an investigation a few weeks ago and what I discovered was nauseating. There are hundreds of private messages between some members that discuss strategy on how to bully or make fun of other members that disagree with them publicly. At the end of the day, we're an online support group and everyone needs to learn how to play nice. If you can't abide by the rules, you're not welcome here.

If this was about $, I'd keep things status quo and wouldn't ruffle any feathers. I promised myself that 2017 would be an awesome one for the BariatricPal community and our members. If you're not happy with my decision, you are more than welcome to follow the members I banned to the other online communities that are readily available to you.

[Healthy_life2 8,330]

@Natalie Stein @@Alex Brecher

I have been here long enough to know you're a great advocate for the bariatric community. Thankful that your site was incredibly helpful from 2014 and 2015.

In July of 2016, My hope was your moderators would have made a difference in the interactions on the forum. It was getting out of control then...It has hit a new low now.

Please be advised I am withdrawing my permission to post my bariatric story on BariatricPal's newsletter.

Sent December 26, 2016 - 4:07 PM

Hello!

I help Alex, BariatricPal’s founder, out with the newsletters on this board. We would love to feature you in the Member Spotlight section of the Newsletter. Is that okay? If it is, can you please answer a few of the following questions? We want to be able to let all of our readers get to know the real you!

What made you decide to get the surgery? What kind of surgery did you get?

What are some of the differences in your life since getting the surgery?

What are some of the challenges you faced?

What great moments have you had?

How does the discussion forum fit into your life? What do you use it for?

Do you have any tips for members who are struggling with their weight loss?

Again, you don’t have to answer all of them, and you’re free to add more information. We want to hear all about you.

Thanks!

Natalie

[sc101071 398]

it's a petty and cheap shot to denigrate this site for commercial gain. Why would anyone expect free apps and message boards and no way for those pulling it together a way to profit? Also, I would trust a hospital abroad more knowing it's been vetted. So what if there is financial gain. That's what keeps the world spinning.

I hate to see so many people upset and the "mass" exodus. But people have not been treated right on this board since I have been here by some. I have no doubt that many people don't feel welcome or safe to ask questions without ridicule. We should all recognize that many people with weight issues that get us to a point of surgery are more fragile than most.

Edited January 14, 2017 by sc101071

[HanSolo1977 261]

I think we need some proof here Alex. Lipstick and Babbs weren't the problem and you know it. I'm done with this site. You should delete the accounts of people who want them deleted

Good luck making money.

[john925 175]

Sorry but everything Alex said is true! There have been a few posters on here that even though they may provide some good information their tone and demeanor on here is downright inexcusable... Acting like they are gods gift to Bariatric patients... As he states in the rules this is a safe place and no one should be talked down to for doing this and that. I am fortunate to have a medical background and know the rules and what could happen and all that jazz. But some of these posters even though their questions about doing/eating this and that may sound "dumb" the truth is they most likely really don't know better hence why they're asking for advice on a support page. (Health literacy... look it up). This then turns into a viscous cycle of others commenting and putting them on blast when really they don't know better and probably think they are making decent choices. These posters need help and education, not to be scrutinized by bully tactics. This is your own personal journey and what works for one person may not work for another and just because you deviate from one persons plan doesn't mean your a failure or going to fail. Pretty sure none of these people are credentialed to be giving out medical advise anyways. I have been personally very successful in my WLS journey and you better believe if I posted some of the things I have done I would've received backlash from posters on here...even though everything I've done is on MY plan. It just may not be on others, therefore with these posters mentality I would be wrong.. and fail... and everything else they like to say if you don't follow their rules. Anyways that is my little rant. Happy Saturday

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited January 14, 2017 by john925

[KristenLe 5,980]

How do I disassociate with this forum? I should be able to delete my own account. I want nothing to do with this site and do not want my personal info available to anyone - especially you (clearly you have read Private Messages between others which is extremely inappropriate).