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Regrets after surgery?



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I'm gonna tell you something, and it's not totally popular but it's true. For some of us there is a lot of regret post surgery. And that's OK!!

Here's the thing, it goes away for 99.9% of us. :)

We just did something MAJOR and permanent to not just our body but to our life and to our mind and our emotions. I regretted the surgery for a good 4 weeks post surgery. It started slow and then built to this huge wave. I started crying and didn't stop for a week. I'm not kidding.

But then it goes. We come to accept where we are, our hormones settle down (post surgery our hormones are a mess, that adds to our emotional state), our emotional cup starts to empty a bit and we get less overwhelmed and less weepy (maybe that was just me. lol!).

For me I started to just feel better physically and emotionally. As we progress to different stages that adds help as well.

I can't promise that you will never regret the surgery, but I can promise you that as long as you are physically healing, losing weight and feeling good that your EMOTIONAL state will improve.

I don't regret the surgery any longer, but ask me 4 weeks post surgery and I would have a totally different answer for you and would have dissolved into tears.

I'm over a month post op and feel like I've made a mistake. I've been sick for this whole time and wish I could go back in time...

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To answer your specific question, yes. I regretted having the surgery the moment I woke up and I'm about 3-4 weeks out now and still regret it at times. This surgery is hard and no one is exactly the same so everyone experiences something different then the 3-5 people you spoke to before having this surgery. Anyone who has asked me how I feel, I'm honest and tell them that I wish I would have known this was how I was going to feel because if I did I would have cancelled the surgery. I would have stopped being lazy and eating whatever it is i felt like and lost the weight on my own. But it's to late to move back words. Work on moving forward, everything does get better and in a few months it won't matter because we won't remember the pain.

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MY 4BROWNIES I TOO HAD MY SLEEVE DONE ON NOV 9.....43 LBS DOWN. .....NO REGRETS JUST GOING FORWARD. GOOD LUCK TO YOU

Sent from my L9 using the BariatricPal App

Thanks Pam I haven't lost but 25 since my surgery BUT I'm not comparing or complaining..doctor said there was a chance for me to lose slow..age,metabolism blah blah blah..but my journey thus far is working for me...I wish you all the best of patience and healthy journey as well.. Work it!!!!!

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The first 4-6 weeks suck. Your body is healing, your emotions are all over the place. You have to find a new way to cope with emotions because you can't eat them. The only regret I have IS NOT HAVING DONE THIS 10 YEARS AGO. I'm so sorry that I deprived my children and my husband of the person I could be - mobile and not in pain. I still have about 50 pounds to go to my personal goal, but I'm down 70 pounds since April and 45 since Surgery in August.

Once you get back to the point of being able to eat the same food as a rest of your family, you'll feel a lot better. When everyone was eating roasted chicken and I was slurping Soup, it was tough to maintain my dignity.

Hang in there.

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I think it's pretty common to feel that way early on. I definitely did. But once I healed physically, and once I started coming to terms with the emotional part of it, I've not had a single regret since then. Hang in there! I promise it gets better! In the meantime, start reading some blogs or youtube channels of people who have been successful long term! It will motivate you to keep going and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

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The first 4-6 weeks suck. Your body is healing, your emotions are all over the place. You have to find a new way to cope with emotions because you can't eat them. The only regret I have IS NOT HAVING DONE THIS 10 YEARS AGO. I'm so sorry that I deprived my children and my husband of the person I could be - mobile and not in pain. I still have about 50 pounds to go to my personal goal, but I'm down 70 pounds since April and 45 since Surgery in August.

Once you get back to the point of being able to eat the same food as a rest of your family, you'll feel a lot better. When everyone was eating roasted chicken and I was slurping Soup, it was tough to maintain my dignity.

Hang in there.

I'm so sorry that I deprived my children and my husband of the person I could be - mobile and not in pain.

This!!

You've managed to articulate the most important reason for my surgery. Now that I can be more present with them, I understand how much I was depriving them previously. We didn't go places. We didn't do things because Mommy didn't feel good, because Mommy couldn't keep up.

If it were ever necessary, I'd have the surgery three times a year to keep being the wife and mother I want to be.

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I think I can relate but for different reasons. I am 3 weeks post-op tomorrow and lost 17 lbs. which I'm not sure what to make of. I know of other people who lost a lot more but they also had a lot more to loose. My issue? I'm HUNGRY! I've been really good about not letting my brain hunger take over but it's so hard. I have had weak moments and eaten a few crackers here and there

Are my expectations unrealistic about not being hungry?

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Stay with it, I was exactly the same. Things are now starting to calm down and the vomiting is getting more and more infrequent.

It does get better, I kept having to drop back onto liquid's for a few days then move on with the programme of re feeding.

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The entire first two months, I was totally regretting the entire thing, I kept saying to myself when is this going to be worth it, why did I do this to myself. Now 4 months out, 130 lbs down, seeing low 300s on the scale again, it's completely worth it. Don't give up! Trust me it will get better!!

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I think I can relate but for different reasons. I am 3 weeks post-op tomorrow and lost 17 lbs. which I'm not sure what to make of. I know of other people who lost a lot more but they also had a lot more to loose. My issue? I'm HUNGRY! I've been really good about not letting my brain hunger take over but it's so hard. I have had weak moments and eaten a few crackers here and there

Are my expectations unrealistic about not being hungry?

Are you taking anything to control your stomach acid? I thought I had hunger every 2 hours but instead was bad acid. I'm on an inhibitor now and have to be reminded to eat.

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It's ok to feel regret so long as you realize it is just a phase you need to go thru. You chose to do something life changing. I had no regrets right off. Now at 2 months there are things i want to eat that i can't tolerate and i ask myself why i did this. then i look at the weight I've lost and how good i feel and i realize that i did this to feel better and I do. the choice we made was for the right reasons and it is a matter of getting over our minds to enjoy what we have done. food is a large part of all of our lives especially those that are overweight. It is hard to combat these mental feelings and that where the regret comes from. hang in there. It gets better as you are able o eat more foods and feel more normal .

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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