No Support!

[jamiebrookes 4]

I am struggling to lose my last 9 pounds in order to get my surgery date and my husband is the most unsupportive person ever. He Snacks all the time, stops and gets food while we are out doing errands. Then he gets upset with me when I'm upset whit his habits. I don't know what to do. I know I want and need this surgery but he is making my road way harder.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You can't control his actions, you can only control yours. It sucks that he isn't being more supportive, but that said, he's not having surgery, you are.

The world isn't going to stop eating crap because you can't. food commercials are still going to be crazy. Restaurants are still going to serve unhealthy stuff in huge portions. Everywhere you look there are going to be people eating, shopping for junk food, etc.

You do you and ignore him.

[Travelher 915]

ouch that is tough. I know when i was on liquids my husband made popcorn (my kryptonite). our popcorn machine is in our family room so I couldn't be pissed at him because that is where it is. I did fantasize about bopping him on the head and taking it from him. Because I can't expect him not to eat Snacks and popcorn (I'm having WLS, not him) I did the only thing I can which is remove myself while he is doing that. I went upstairs and had a nice long relaxing bath and ranted on here.

is it fair to ask him not to eat and snack? No

Is it fair to ask him to try not to do it in situations where you can't escape it (the car, etc, etc)? Maybe

Do I buy unhealthy or snack foods for him when shopping?...nope. if he wants it he has to go get it.

And yes it is still frustrating having people eat foods I love in front of me, i have gotten used to it though! I was irritated when my mom put a piece of cake at my setting over Christmas when she knows full well I can't eat it, so I handed it back and I busied myself clearing the table & cleaning up while dessert was being served.

You won't be able to change your husband. You've told him how it makes you feel, that is all you can do on that front. now you need to find the coping strategies that will help you stay successful. you are soo close.

[jkristen89 9]

Do a meal prep. When you go out put some healthy snakes in your bag that way when he stops to get something you will have your snake ready. 9 pounds is so close. Watch your salts and flush your body with lots of Water. You got this!

Sent from my VS995 using the BariatricPal App

[jamiebrookes 4]

I know I can't control his actions but it would be nice if he would be a little more sensitive to my situation right now. Home is supposed to be my safe place. I'm fine while I'm out and about. It's when we are home watching tv he Snacks constantly....I just wish he would be a little more considerate that's all.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Travelher 915]

I know I can't control his actions but it would be nice if he would be a little more sensitive to my situation right now. Home is supposed to be my safe place. I'm fine while I'm out and about. It's when we are home watching tv he Snacks constantly....I just wish he would be a little more considerate that's all.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

mine does the same. sat on the couch eating a box of cheesies crackers last night. i just thought.."thank god it isn't popcorn". i watch tv on my ipad most of the time. headphones on so don't have to hear and watch it.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Do a meal prep. When you go out put some healthy snakes in your bag that way when he stops to get something you will have your snake ready. 9 pounds is so close. Watch your salts and flush your body with lots of Water. You got this!

Sent from my VS995 using the BariatricPal App

Snakes?

[BayougirlMrsS 3,939]

I am struggling to lose my last 9 pounds in order to get my surgery date and my husband is the most unsupportive person ever. He Snacks all the time, stops and gets food while we are out doing errands. Then he gets upset with me when I'm upset whit his habits. I don't know what to do. I know I want and need this surgery but he is making my road way harder.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Mine was never supportive.... I'd say... going on a diet... he'd say... can you stop and buy US a pie/cake/icecream etc. Didn't get any better after LBS either... I know he wasn't the one that needed to lose weight... but it would have been nice to be supported and encouraged.

Suggestion: When he starts eating the bad crap in front of you... Walk away and go in another room or go walk outside. if your in the car.. turn the music up loud and sing to the top of your lungs... When he ask why.. then tell him. Mine would say... OMG do you have to sing...(I can't hold a tune in a bucket)... I'd say, well do you have to eat that in front of me.... he'll get the point... or ear plugs... hehehe

[pvechiola 195]

You can't control his actions, you can only control yours. It sucks that he isn't being more supportive, but that said, he's not having surgery, you are.

The world isn't going to stop eating crap because you can't. food commercials are still going to be crazy. Restaurants are still going to serve unhealthy stuff in huge portions. Everywhere you look there are going to be people eating, shopping for junk food, etc.

You do you and ignore him.

Great answer I am divorced and I am so happy I'm not married, but my mom supports me losing weight but not the surgery, no matter where you go everyone is going to have advice, comments, eat food we can't or shouldn't eat and have opinions we really don't want to hear, and some will stop talking to us but this is a life changing surgery so focus on being strong and determined to make your choice for you and only you. Good luck you will be good.

Sent from my 0PM92 using the BariatricPal App

[pvechiola 195]

You can't just live life without buying some junk food for your family especially if you have children, I have to make myself accountable for everything I eat or not eat, exercise or not, I am thinking of starting a hobby that helps, maybe puzzles and it keeps mind off of the time you used to eat.

Sent from my 0PM92 using the BariatricPal App

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

my husband is the most unsupportive person ever. He Snacks all the time, stops and gets food while we are out doing errands. Then he gets upset with me when I'm upset whit his habits. I don't know what to do. I know I want and need this surgery but he is making my road way harder.

You have to be your own supportive person. You've lost pre-surgery weight so far with him in the picture. Doesn't that tell you can lose the rest? Do errands on your own. Leave him by the side of the road after a fashion. His habits are his habits; look the other way. .

it would be nice if he would be a little more sensitive to my situation right now. Home is supposed to be my safe place. I'm fine while I'm out and about. It's when we are home watching tv he Snacks constantly..

It would be nice, too, if Warren Buffett were to name you a beneficiary of his estate. You can't have it all.

Don't watch TV with him. Do more out-and-abouting.

Sometimes a home has termites.

Concentrate on what you're doing and what your immediate goal is. Ignore the junk-guzzler.

[illailla 79]

is your husband getting the surgery or you? you can't make him stop his lifestyle for you and vice versa

Edited January 7, 2017 by illailla

[Djmohr 6,965]

This really is one of the hardest things to deal with but you just have to work through it.

In the beginning my husband was so good about not eating foods i love in front of me. In fact, the man would literally go eat downstairs. It actually frustrated me more because now I was always eating alone. I did not want him to change because I decided to have bariatric surgery. So, i finally convinced him to knock it off and eat with me telling him I really did not care about that crap he calls food anyway.

Now, fast forward 2+ years.....he is always bringing stuff in this house that he knows I love and he must think I have extreme willpower. The truth is, I don't. I would prefer he not bring me a bag of dark chocolate promises or a cherry pie. My two favorite things....I know that he does this because he feels guilty that he is enjoying stuff and so therefore it helps him feel better.

Well, last week he brought me a bag of dove dark chocolate promises. I literally went into the kitchen and threw them in the garbage. then I turned to him and said. I love you. Now STOP bringing me treats that I really don't want nor need. I will take care of my Snacks please.

He looked sad for a second and then got immediately past it.

You simply have to realize that we are responsible for controlling ourselves and you cannot let what they do influence you. And that is a hard pill to swallow sometimes when you have a clear enabler living with you.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Earlier today I posted an article on dealing with non-supportive spouses because the subject comes up daily. Take a look.

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/387091-article-on-those-unsupportive-spousespartners/

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

Do a meal prep. When you go out put some healthy snakes in your bag that way when he stops to get something you will have your snake ready. 9 pounds is so close. Watch your salts and flush your body with lots of Water. You got this!

Sent from my VS995 using the BariatricPal App

Snakes?

Yes snakes, they make a healthy snack. They are high in Protein, low in fat and one variety even has a fun toy rattle prize in it.