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I miss my ravioli



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I was in a hurry this morning, so I grabbed a can of ravioli instead of something healthy. I just ate lunch. I knew ravioli was a bad choice, so I just half the can. I threw the rest away. Now I miss it. I want my ravioli back. I have RSA (Ravioli Separation Anxiety.) I hate throwing away food. Hate it.

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I sure know that feeling. I think part of it is "clean plate syndrom". It wasn't pushed into me too hard by my parents, but then I dated this guy who ate everything off his plate (and any other plates that weren't empty), and so I kind of got into the habit of emptying my plate... and then I got banded. I feel so wasteful because I can't measure well what i'm going to be able to eat. Even if I put on my plate half of what I'd have done before it's still way too much and I end up throwing a bunch away.

But on the other hand, when I know I should be done, I throw the extra away, or I'll keep grazing at it. I ain't gonna go dig it out of the trash, so throwing it away is the best option. :(

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If I don't throw it in the trash immediately, I'll go back and graze later. My husband is terrible at wasting food. He cooks in enormous quantities but won't eat left overs. So spoiled! Meanwhile, my mother would torture us if we didn't clean our plates. If there was one disgusting bite left, she'd put it in the fridge and make us eat it at Breakfast. So we have a marriage of exact opposites, which makes it harder.

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Meanwhile, my mother would torture us if we didn't clean our plates. If there was one disgusting bite left, she'd put it in the fridge and make us eat it at Breakfast.< /div>

Oh, Wow! My Mom did the same thing. If you refused to eat the crust on the bread that's what you got at the next meal. Your plate right out of the fridge and in front of you with these pitiful dried up bread crusts. While everyone else got the real meal. Anything you refused to eat at a meal would come out at each meal until you did eat it.

HMmmmmmmm. I have an abhorrence to throwing away food as well. But now I have too. I can't eat it all like I used to.

Now. I'm hungry. My third meal is about to be cooked.

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It's hard to get used to throwing away food. I have used DeLarla's trick of pouring Water over something I don't want to eat the rest of, in order to ruin it. It works well, but upsets my husband.

I bring home "doggie bags" all the time and end up having to throw them away. At least they aren't "wasted" on me in the form of fat!

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Eating everything on my plate was never a problem, that's why I'm a bandster now. I have always eaten because I like the taste, not because I was hungry....now it's because I'm hungry and looking for Protein. I've come a long way baby!

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I would have cleaned my plate as a kid, too, but my mother made disgusting crap. She'd boil liver and lima Beans with no breading, oil or seasoning and expect kids to eat it. There was never any meatloaf, pizza, lasagna, mac n' cheese, bacon & eggs. Just boiled, dried up, whole grains, barley, peas. On a rare occasion she'd mess with out heads and buy pizza. But then she'd top it off with cooked peas and raw broccoli. Gee, why is food such an issue for me?

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How did you ever have a weight issue eating that stuff?

My oldest son was pouring ketsup on his lunch one day and one of his co-workers asked him why he put so much ketsup on everything, his reply..."obviously, you've never tasted my mom's cooking".

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Yeah, cleaning your plate is a pleasure when the food's great. But pizza and frozen broccoli?

My mom was (and is) a good cook, but she made all kinds of funky vegetables like cauliflower, rutabaga, and brussels sprouts, and we'd have to sit at the dining room table until we finished every bite on the plate. I still haven't figured out how we could have sent the stuff to the starving children in China we kept hearing about. (As Allan Sherman once said, "They're still starving -- and I got fat.")

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I got fat along with my sister and brothers from stealing money from Momster to buy junk food. We also stole food from neighbors' cupboards. I had to be the lookout for my older brother and sister. Sometimes we just stole cake batter, which was one of the only things my sister knew how to cook (add Water, mix.) Kids have killer survival instincts. We never ate the crap she put out, we'd flush it or bury it in the backyard. Once she made horrifying split pea Soup (no ham) with crunchy peas in unflavored broth. I gagged mine down cuz I was afraid of her, but someone flushed theirs and flooded the toilet. When the Momster found out, they both pointed their fingers at me, so I had to gag down another heaping bowl. Truly disgusting, especially for a kid. We all grew up with eating disorders. My sister just lost 63 pounds on diet pills and is afraid to go off them. Scary cuz they are really bad for you, but she's struggling to keep the weight off.

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I just reminded myself of my best friend, Debbie, in grade school. She was the only morbidly obese child with me 2nd in line of chubbies. Her mom was awful too. Her mom loved me and hated Debbie. Her mom was so abusive, both physically and mentally. Debbie and her sister were wearing women's elastic waste pants in elementary school. Their mom would go on ranting raves for no reason. Once she made Debbie pour bowls of Cereal in every single dish in the house, then she had to eat it all, then she had to wash all the dishes - right in front of me. She was crying the whole time, and I wasn't allowed to help her. Gee, how do all us girls get so fat? Say it with me, "Thanks, Mom."

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Delarla, did your Mum eat what she made too. Did she like her own evil cooking? Was she some sort of health freak or just a really bad cook or both?

Anyway, its a wonder you didnt turn out mad yourself. My Mum had a really bad Mum too. Some people just arent meant to be Mums. Just out of curiosity was poverty a factor & was she a single Mum...not that thats an excuse.

If you dont want to answer I wont take it wrong!

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My Mum (how cute is that?) picks green stems from weeds in the front yard and eats them! She is extremely gross, and yes she eats all that crap. She is mentally distorted and does not believe we are supposed to enjoy life. She believes we are here for a purpose to gather information that we'll need in the next life. She does not think food is an enjoyment, rather it serves its purpose, which is nutrition only. I have seen her eat some of the most disgusting stuff - like sour milk or nearly-liquified brown bananas. There's a whole thread about crazy family stories where I let go of alot of my "Mum" venting. Mum - that's so cute!

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Well, that might solve the weed problem!

I did notice that she likes laundry baskets though...are they useful for the next life!!LOL

My Mums Mum was the most selfish lazy women. She let her kids grow up with shit on the walls. She never cleaned their clothes or ever bought them presents. My Mum used to beg her even to buy a bangle for their birthday & she wouldnt. My Mum & her siblings used to wrap up all things & pretend that that was thier present to the neighbours. She also married some bastard who used up all of my Mums fathers money & belted them up, after my Mums father died. My nana only eats cake. Shes really fat & always told my Mum she was ugly because my Mum was skinney & tall. Well my Mum turned out to be beautiful but she was always told she was the ugly one! My nana has never done anything for anyone as long as I have known her.

Lets make 2005 the year we really succeed. Theres no better revenge than success! I swear it must be the answer to everything. LOL

I get sad thinking about how mean your Mum is. You have turned out great, just like my Mum did. Sadly all my Mums siblings have enormous problems that reflect their upbringing......sorry this is the wrong thread but I couldnt be bothered starting another!

Look forward to talking with you in 2005!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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