So, two fat guys walk into a Taco Bell...

[BigJohn58 135]

This really is bariatric related. Today I received a visit from a very good friend of mine. He started out as a student. We became friends about eight years ago, and have been close friends ever since. He had sleeve surgery about four years ago. What is strange though, is that of all the people who knew I was doing this, he has been the least supportive. He practically begged me not to do it. He came to visit immediately after surgery, and fairly shocked me with his imagery of huge sandwiches, sumptuous meals, and high calorie Desserts I would never be able to eat again. I have been learning more about him and about this new lifestyle, and how the two aren't working out so well. We are still friends, and will remain so, but following is a lot of what I learned.

My friend is one of those who is failing, and will continue to fail. I am pretty sure he was coerced into the surgery by his wife, who didn't want to see him dying prematurely of all the things that were going wrong with him. As far as I can tell, he never really bought into the premise of changing his lifestyle along with the surgery. As such, he has not changed it. He had enormous success during the honeymoon period, but has since regained at least 80 lbs of the weight he lost. His blood pressure problems have returned, and if I had to guess, he is going to have blood sugar issues again, if he isn't already.

So he came to visit this morning, and we had a fairly blunt conversation. He was impressed with my progress to date, so I let him know, un no uncertain terms, that it was because I was FOLLOWING THE RULES. He does not eat Protein. When he gets hungry, he will eat a small piece of fruit, or a vending machine snack. He will often eat a Caesar salad for lunch. On his way to visit, had a coffee roll as the sole sum and substance of his Breakfast (along with coffee, which he drank to wash his roll down). When he is not hungry, he will not eat. I offered him several items, including some freshly made chicken salad, which I had for my mid morning snack. It was no go.

It was kind of sad. I discussed some of his culinary choices, and offered him some ideas (he refuses to talk to a nutritionist). Simply put, he has not changed his mindset, and is fairly surprised that I have. But that is the difference between success and failure. While he was here, we were out doing some recon at the local Cabela's. I am about to embark on making my own beef Jerky, so I wanted to peruse the offerings they had in the way of food dehydrators. They didn't really have anything that got me excited. And we really did go to Taco Bell.

We were on the way home, and I knew he had to eat something. Heck, I knew I had to eat something! So I asked him if he liked Taco Bell. I already knew the answer. It was kind of funny though. Even though he is completely off the reservation on content, he is chained to his sleeve for volume. So we go walking in, and up to the counter. I ordered a beef and bean burrito, figuring I would eat the insides and scrap most of the wrap. I also ordered an unsweetened iced tea for later on down the road. My friend said to the guy, "Can I get just one taco?"

The kid taking our order looked at us like we were some sort of weirdos, eating practically nothing. He asked a few times if that was all we wanted. The total for our tab came to $6.43. For two people. I almost burst out laughing at the expression on the kid's face. As we were sitting at our table, slowing eating our pittance, a hugely overweight woman came lumbering by. She could not contain her interest in seeing two big guys eating almost nothing, and doing it very slowly. I almost wanted to get up and tell her why. He munched down his entire crunchy taco. I ate the insides of my burrito, and had a couple of very small bites which included part of the wrap. I tossed the rest of it. My friend was impressed that I did not stuff the whole thing down my neck. And the tea? It was awful. I don't know if my taste for tea has changed, or if it was just this batch or this brand. But I won't be getting any Taco Bell tea ever again, unless I am about as desiccated as a mummy.

As for my friend, he has all the tools he needs. He just needs to change his attitude. I hope he does, now that I am in this thing right along with him. Why am I posting about this? This is for any of you out there who might be tempted to be like my friend. Most of this is in your head. You will win or lose mainly because of your mindset. Your sleeve is a tool, and one of many. If you learn to use your tools well, you will do well. If you think they will do the job for you, and you need not put any effort in, you will be left wondering why others are enjoying success while you linger in the land of the large.

Funny story but please tell me how someone gains back all that weight after Gastric sleeve I want to educate myself and my brain before I get the surgery. I take this surgery very serious I'm not going to fail. That's the great thing about this forum it's like getting your masters degree

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@BigJohn58 there are a lot of answers/reasons. But not eating dense Protein first is the root cause.

[theantichick 2,204]

Funny story but please tell me how someone gains back all that weight after Gastric sleeve I want to educate myself and my brain before I get the surgery. I take this surgery very serious I'm not going to fail. That's the great thing about this forum it's like getting your masters degree

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I've had friends gain back from lapband and bypass both. I can already see where I could "eat around" my sleeve if that were my intention. It's all about dealing with food issues.

For instance. I knew a couple who were both well over 500 lbs each. They went together to get lapband but refused the offered therapy, because they just knew they didn't need anything like that. They actively talked about how they still drank sugared sodas, ate ice cream, and ate cream-based Soups because those foods would slip by the band and they could eat as much of it as they wanted to satisfy their cravings. They would go to the all you could eat restaurants and eat, then go to the bathroom and purge, eat some more, and repeat because they wanted to get their money's worth. They freely admitted they had issues with food, but refused to address those issues, but complained because the band wasn't making them lose weight. SMDH.

Except for those for whom weight is strictly an issue of Portion Control, there is typically a huge element of emotional eating involved. Whether it's bingeing (with or without purging), emotional eating, or simple overeating, a common crutch for emotional issues is to stuff it down or bandage it with food. While most of us aren't as open and vocal about it as my two friends were, we will tend to do basically what they did... find ways to "eat around" whatever WLS tool we put in place. Our sleeves won't stretch, per se, but if we extend our meals we can shovel more in on top as food is being processed out, and eat more at a sitting. If we eat less dense foods, we can pack more in. If we graze all day, we can eat ridiculous amounts of calories. If we increase our tolerance for fatty and sugary foods and drinks and choose them, we can eat more calories.

There's two main things people can do to avoid this. One is to clean up their environment so they're not tempted to go off track. If bread/pasta/carbs lead to overeating, don't have them available or don't allow them in the diet at all (one reason many people stay on the low-carb plans). Don't keep high calorie/low nutrition foods around. And so on. The other is to use therapy or other tools to dig down and figure out what's driving us to use food as an emotional crutch/bandage and fix the underlying problem (or find a new crutch/bandage which is why there's so much crossover addiction in the WLS community).

The reason WLS fails (IMHO) is because people believe (or are led to believe) that WLS is a quick fix and don't know to, or aren't willing to, do the work. And that work is needed for successful weight loss, whether you use the WLS tool or not. WLS is a great tool for a number of reasons, but that work can't be avoided. And it's not easy. Which is why weight loss fails.

So ultimately, my long-winded post sums up to this.... WLS fails for the same reason weight loss fails.

[BigJohn58 135]

Funny story but please tell me how someone gains back all that weight after Gastric sleeve I want to educate myself and my brain before I get the surgery. I take this surgery very serious I'm not going to fail. That's the great thing about this forum it's like getting your masters degree

Sent from my Bat Phone using the BariatricPal App

I've had friends gain back from lapband and bypass both. I can already see where I could "eat around" my sleeve if that were my intention. It's all about dealing with food issues.

For instance. I knew a couple who were both well over 500 lbs each. They went together to get lapband but refused the offered therapy, because they just knew they didn't need anything like that. They actively talked about how they still drank sugared sodas, ate ice cream, and ate cream-based Soups because those foods would slip by the band and they could eat as much of it as they wanted to satisfy their cravings. They would go to the all you could eat restaurants and eat, then go to the bathroom and purge, eat some more, and repeat because they wanted to get their money's worth. They freely admitted they had issues with food, but refused to address those issues, but complained because the band wasn't making them lose weight. SMDH.

Except for those for whom weight is strictly an issue of Portion Control, there is typically a huge element of emotional eating involved. Whether it's bingeing (with or without purging), emotional eating, or simple overeating, a common crutch for emotional issues is to stuff it down or bandage it with food. While most of us aren't as open and vocal about it as my two friends were, we will tend to do basically what they did... find ways to "eat around" whatever WLS tool we put in place. Our sleeves won't stretch, per se, but if we extend our meals we can shovel more in on top as food is being processed out, and eat more at a sitting. If we eat less dense foods, we can pack more in. If we graze all day, we can eat ridiculous amounts of calories. If we increase our tolerance for fatty and sugary foods and drinks and choose them, we can eat more calories.

There's two main things people can do to avoid this. One is to clean up their environment so they're not tempted to go off track. If bread/pasta/carbs lead to overeating, don't have them available or don't allow them in the diet at all (one reason many people stay on the low-carb plans). Don't keep high calorie/low nutrition foods around. And so on. The other is to use therapy or other tools to dig down and figure out what's driving us to use food as an emotional crutch/bandage and fix the underlying problem (or find a new crutch/bandage which is why there's so much crossover addiction in the WLS community).

The reason WLS fails (IMHO) is because people believe (or are led to believe) that WLS is a quick fix and don't know to, or aren't willing to, do the work. And that work is needed for successful weight loss, whether you use the WLS tool or not. WLS is a great tool for a number of reasons, but that work can't be avoided. And it's not easy. Which is why weight loss fails.

So ultimately, my long-winded post sums up to this.... WLS fails for the same reason weight loss fails.

WOW that was a great explanation thanks so much for explained it in such a concise way even I can understand

This is what I absolutely love about this forum so many smart people with WLS life experience. Thank you

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[LittleBill 2,231]

@@BigJohn58 I don't think I can give you a better answer than @@theantichick gave you. Essentially, my friend has chosen to ignore any healthy diet choices, and makes symbolic efforts on occasion that might have been useful pre-op, but are useless post-op - like eating salad instead of Protein.< /p>

Edited December 21, 2016 by LittleBill

[BigJohn58 135]

@@BigJohn58 I don't think I can give you a better answer than @@theantichick gave you. Essentially, my friend has chosen to ignore any healthy diet choices, and makes symbolic efforts on occasion that might have been useful pre-op, but are useless post-op - like eating salad instead of Protein.

Bill this is a learning process for all of us but I feel like I'm going into this surgery with all the knowledge and tools to succeed. My problem has always been quantity of food not quality I hardly ever eat sugary things. I met some great people on this forum. Thanks

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[OKCPirate 5,323]

Just a tool! I've always wondered why my tools are in the garage and my projects are too but unless I'm using those tools nothing gets done. Now I know. I always thought that I had defective tools!

In my profession, most are hobbyists, while some of us are professionals. Many of us who are pros make part of our living demonstrating and teaching. Some have developed tools over the years, which they use very well to accomplish various tasks. Those individuals often make a significant dollar selling those tools to hobbyists in various places they visit. These folks buy the tools, and then wonder why they don't work the same for them as they do for the pro who spent years developing them and learning the best way to use them. They seem to think that the tool comes endowed with some special force field or something to make it work. Personal application is not even considered.

It is so bad that a friend of mine made (and sells) a T shirt which says, "I am only one tool away from greatness".

Amateurs Practice Until They Get It Right; Professionals Practice Until They Can’t Get It Wrong. Same applies here.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@BigJohn58 - Really? The quality is the best thing. When I can only have VERY LITTLE, I want to make every bite so damn good. I don't have time/space for crap. And I make my inner cheapskate happy because it's the same price. Small amounts of great stuff costs the same of large amounts of crap.

[BigJohn58 135]

@@BigJohn58 - Really? The quality is the best thing. When I can only have VERY LITTLE, I want to make every bite so damn good. I don't have time/space for crap. And I make my inner cheapskate happy because it's the same price. Small amounts of great stuff costs the same of large amounts of crap.

What I'm saying is I haven't had surgery yet and my downfall is I eat to much quantity I'm not a junk food eater.

I hope with the sleeve it will help me control the amount of food I eat.

I been eating good Italian food my whole life lol Happy Holiday

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Edited December 24, 2016 by BigJohn58

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@BigJohn58 - always feel free to share really good recipes. Esp. those which are high Protein, low carb. (and it depends on what part of Italy recipes are from.