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Do you tell others? Do you feel embarrassed or ashamed?



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I'm keeping my whole thing a secret. Not because I'm ashamed or embarrassed, but most people even, even close friends have become extremely judgmental. I am in no position to explain my decision to no one, therefore, easiest way to go about is not mentioning it at all.

I am doing it for my one well-being and No one elses.

I've always been active, but I've developed diabetes, pcos and hormonal imbalance, imagine explaining to people why you can't loose weight even with all the workout you do.

Me, myself and I are the only ones in charge of this beautiful body that God had put in this world. Therefore there's no explaining to do to no one, but me!.

You need to be at peace with your self.

You're doing it for you, not to please the world.

Sent from my SM-G900V using the BariatricPal App

I can imagine because my partner has pcos and a failed WLS and she is very active. So active that she injured her knee and had to have surgery.

That's part of the reason I'm doing this. I'm scared to be active and injure my joints which are already weak.

I agree, this is a decision for me, and I don't really care what most of my peers think. But more than embarrassment I do fear judgement, misunderstanding, and losing friends.

But then again I think that the people who would hold WLS against me probably already hold my obesity against me and probably shouldn't be my friends anyway.

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Juniper,

I too had ACL tear back when I was 230lbs. Had knee surgery lost about 40 lbs in 3 months.

After that it has been just a battle to get everything under control.

I've too struggled with sinical comments about my weight and references about when I was thinner... people don't check themselves before pointing fingers and becoming judges of your body and weight.

I left that all behind. Although it bothers me at times, I've moved on, got my surgery done and hope to get back to the streets and start running and playing soccer.

If I'm content with me and I accept my struggles and work hard to fix my body, I don't need nor accept anyone's comments. Who the hell are they to comment about my well being???

Keep it going...

Sent from my SM-G900V using the BariatricPal App

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@@JuniperBug, I hope you can hate the packaging a little less. She's how the vibrant, engaged person you are gets around during the course of the day. You don't need me to tell you that there are reasons for the packaging. Ready or not, she is part of you and, for that reason, deserving of respect and love. Love her always because she is the one who will give birth to her replacement.

(I'll tell you now that, when you lose enough weight so that it really shows and the people you have chosen not to tell about surgery ask, say no more than your decision to eat better and exercise. That's the absolute truth -- so easy because it leaves you having to remember nothing.)

Edited by WLSResources/ClothingExch

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@@JuniperBug, I hope you can hate the packaging a little less. She's how the vibrant, engaged person you are gets around during the course of the day. You don't need me to tell you that there are reasons for the packaging. Ready or not, she is part of you and, for that reason, deserving of respect and love. Love her always because she is the one who will give birth to her replacement.

Wow that was so poetic and beautiful. Thank you so much. I'm truly touched.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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I didn't tell people because I don't care about their opinions. Telling people invites them to comment and I don't care. No one lives my life but me.

Healthy fat people are a ticking time bomb. They are healthy until they aren't anymore and then they tank fast.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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