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Duh...How to decide whom to tell?



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If you've been telling everyone in town and elsewhere, including dearest family members, dearest friends, co-workers, storekeepers, the neighbors, the babysitter and all others about contemplating surgery and been stunned by the negative responses, consider the following.

Did you give them your Social Security number, and bank statements and credit card numbers as well?

What?

You wouldn't?

Why not?

You think that info is personal and not their biz? You really do?

Golly, gee, who'd a thunk it?

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I only told my hubby and you strangers :), I agree, no ones business!

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Yeah, I'm here every day because I want to discuss it with people who don't judge me. There is no need for me to share it with folks who would. No one who doesn't live in my house knows.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

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I agree with Vinasu. I told my immediate family about the surgery and that's it. My mom, on the other hand, is telling everybody. She doesn't get why I would keep this to myself. She's never suffered the stigma of being obese.

She also shares with everybody that she's a diabetic. Pre-op, I would go to lunch with her and the waiter/waitress would ask us if we want bread or dessert after the meal. My mom would reply "I can't. I have diabetes." I told her that you can just say "no, thank you" and that's it. They don't have to know your condition. Sometimes I think she wears her disease like a badge and she doen't get why I wouldn't do the same.

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I agree with Vinasu. I told my immediate family about the surgery and that's it. My mom, on the other hand, is telling everybody. She doesn't get why I would keep this to myself. She's never suffered the stigma of being obese.

She also shares with everybody that she's a diabetic. Pre-op, I would go to lunch with her and the waiter/waitress would ask us if we want bread or dessert after the meal. My mom would reply "I can't. I have diabetes." I told her that you can just say "no, thank you" and that's it. They don't have to know your condition. Sometimes I think she wears her disease like a badge and she doen't get why I wouldn't do the same.

Hi, im new to this site and havent replied to anyone but your comment is so relatable. my mom had cancer and tells every soul thatll listen. i mean shes a survivor and should be proud but i on the other hand am very shy when it comes to stuff like that. she also told me why the hell be ashamed? but its not that im ashamed its just that, what does it benefit others to know ? i understand you completely.

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I had my sleeve done yesterday, my husband is the only one I told, not even my mother who is judgemental. I would have not told my hub if I could have gotten away with it! For me, one of the challanging issues is that I had to have it done where I work. Very uncomfortable because I know all the anesthesia docs personally. And within the whole hospital system (food runners, lab techs, nurse supervisors and admission clerks, I have no doubt I will be outted! I had no choice but to have it done where I work, ins would not cover any other hospital....but the bright side of that is that I wouldnot have qualified anywhere else. Starting weight 235, no comorbidities. Everyone struggles in there own way, the people here get it,

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Once I decided to blog about it, it didn't make much sense to try and keep it secret. LOL. However, I will disengage from conversations where people have quit listening to what I have to say and are only trying to push their attitude and opinion on me.

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@@theantichick, I'd think that the ones who quit listening would evaporate into the ether, i.e., transfer their affections to a different blogger. Wrong. The internet has everyone wanting to have his say. Every idiotic thought is newsworthy, doncha know.

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I actually managed to have surgery and a two day hospital stay in, not just the hospital, but the actual building I work in without anyone noticing... I told my assistant yesterday because she keeps getting me giant coffee drinks to go with all the holiday asked goods she is bringing into the office.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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      1. This update has no replies.
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