I figured it out. With all the money I am now saving on toilet paper, I had enough for a membership at the local gym. I signed up yesterday for a month by month deal. That way I can see how it goes, and when summer comes, and I have yard work to do, I won't have to pay to sweat and work hard. Today was my second day there.

Most of the people I have encountered so far have been geezers or thin, indolent housewives looking for something to fill their days in between collecting the kids and soap operas. There are a few muscle heads pumping themselves up, but not too many of that. I ignore the women and they ignore me. Even if I was on the prowl, they would probably ignore me. The muscle heads are too busy looking at their muscles in the mirror when they aren't doing reps, but the geezers are fairly talkative. And since I am a Junior Geezer, they accept me into their fold.

So I was in the one pool today alternating between some serious Water walking and swimming, when this one guy shows up. "Hello, how ya doin'?" wasn't quite good enough for him. He kept talking. And talking. There was an older woman at the other end of the pool, and he kept aggravating her too, although it was clear she wasn't interested in talking to anyone. On one of his orbits, he stopped to ask me how many trips I had made up and down the pool. I threw out a number hoping to shut him up, but then he started in on how far it was if you did thus and so, blah blah blah. Then I made my mistake. "Well, I'm starting out easy on doctor's orders, since I just had surgery."

"Oh yeah? What did you have surgery for?"

My first thought was WTF!?!?! I did not say that, but remained polite. I looked at him for a few seconds, and finally said, "Nothing important". I was standing there (floating, actually) thinking, "I've known of your existence for all of 10 minutes, and you want to start in with personal questions? But he got the idea, and did not press the issue. This is my second encounter with this, but the first from a total stranger.

The adventure part was a lot more adventurous. This gym has lockers of a type I have never seen before. They have locks that are designed to be reset over and over again. You dial your combination that you want, close the door, and then spin the tumblers to lock it. When you come back, you just dial them back to your original setting, and open the door again. I get paranoid about these things, and not without reason. Sure enough, when I returned to my locker, I spun the knobs, and...nothing. I squinted at the numbers real hard to make sure they were right, and then tried again. Nothing. Okay, don't panic, LittleBill! So what if all you have to your name is a soggy towel that isn't quite big enough, and a suit that has been through the communal suit dryer! So what if you may have to run out in the lobby that way! OKAY, PANIC!

I only panicked for a few seconds though. I thought, I can't be the first one to have this happen. I turned around to the guy behind me in the next row. "Excuse me sir, but have you been a member here for long?"

"Oh yeah."

I explained my plight. He sort of smiled, and told me there was a phone in the lounge that would reach the front desk, and if not, he would be glad to inform them of my difficulties when he left. I quickly found the phone, and dialed the front desk number, which was conveniently printed there, just like a hotel room. As soon as I said where I was, the lady replied, "I'll send someone right in."

"Oh. So you already know why I'm calling then, huh?"

"Oh yeah."

I think "oh yeah" must be part of the culture there.

The membership administrator, who I had just met yesterday, appeared within a few seconds, which was good. It is hard to not be self conscious standing at the entrance to the locker room (on the INSIDE of course!) with a towel that doesn't quite fit. He sort of laughed and said, "Lock yourself out already?" I was thinking, "You'd be laughing out the other side of your mouth if I just ripped the door off, you know." But I held my peace. He was doing me a favor.

I quickly recovered my clothes and my dignity. And locker 108 is on the Do Not Use list from now on.

I almost asked if you were in the South, we like discuss everything with complete strangers. Though your gym sounds similar to mine. I go to a local YMCA, and a lot of older people go there. OLDER older people. Littlebill, you are a spring chicken compared to some of these peeps. And something I've noticed is that REALLY older people REALLY like to talk about surgeries, like some women like to discuss their labor & delivery horror stories.

And, a lot of our older fellas love to sit in the hot tub. I'll spare you the visuals. Bless their hearts.

I almost asked if you were in the South, we like discuss everything with complete strangers. Though your gym sounds similar to mine. I go to a local YMCA, and a lot of older people go there. OLDER older people. Littlebill, you are a spring chicken compared to some of these peeps. And something I've noticed is that REALLY older people REALLY like to talk about surgeries, like some women like to discuss their labor & delivery horror stories.

And, a lot of our older fellas love to sit in the hot tub. I'll spare you the visuals. Bless their hearts.

Hahaha! I am 3/4 southern by heritage, so I have a cultural bent to be polite as much as I can. But no personal stuff with total strangers. I love sitting in the hot tub too. I was afraid Mrs. LittleBill was going to have to work late as I had no plans of getting out to go get her yesterday. The good news is, all the guys at this hot tub slither down until they are up to their necks.

Bless their hearts