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Meeting someone new before surgery

Siyaa Ela

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Siyaa Ela    59

Siyaa Ela
Posted

Hi everybody

So there is alot happening in my life right now.

I am seeing someone now. I know him for 3 years but the spark just came between us.

So we are kinda sorta dating. And he has no clue what Im about to go through.

I didn't tell him about my plans for surgery. And i don't know if this would put him off or not.

Also i find it kinda distracting me from my goal to have this weightloss journey but at the same time it feels good that i have someone in my life who cares about me. I just dont know what to do with the whole issue at hand

Anybody some advice in what to do or say? Or just plain insight what's the best thing to do with the situation at hand.

Thanks in advance ????????????

Sent from my SM-G928F using the BariatricPal App

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whit86    30

whit86
Posted

I would say relationships are built on trust and understanding so you need to be able to tell him and if he truly cares for you he should at least try and understand where you are coming from. For me I was in the same situation 5 years ago and put off the surgery not because my then boyfriend wouldn't understand but because I knew I wanted another child and didn't want to have to wait 2 more years to get pregnant. Now 5 years later we are married and have an almost 3 year old and my husband has had the surgery about a month ago and December 1st I go in for mine.

Sent from my SM-N900V using the BariatricPal App

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macon_me    68

macon_me
Posted

I was afraid to date before my surgery but I did and I didn't tell absolutely anyone about my surgery until it was too late and my mind was made up. I didn't allow anyone to deter me. The person I was dating tried to show me all these wls horror stories on YouTube

sleeved November 8th. 27yrs. HW 273 SW 233 CW 221. IG @macon_me

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Mindy78    372

Mindy78
Posted

I started dating my fiance in April. I had been planning this since January. I said nothing at first. I had other battles to deal with. When I did tell him he tried to talk me out of it, but for fear something would go wrong. He's been my rock my biggest supporter and fan. Took his vacation off to help me when I had surgery and proposed 6 days after. Every person is different and you will know when the time is right to tell who ever.

Sent from my 5054N using the BariatricPal App

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highfunctioningfatman    2,675

highfunctioningfatman
Posted

Just a word of caution. The hormone dumping out of the fat can be difficult to deal with. Before committing to something, think about it. If you get mad think about the consequences. If you're extremely happy, make sure that it is real.

Either way good luck!

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The New Kel    1,312

The New Kel
Posted

I really think it depends on how well you really know him. Personally I would wait till you were more than 'kinda sorta' dating. I'd want to be sure that there was a true solid relationship forming. I'm sure it would be nice to have a support person who cares about you help you through the journey. Can you trust him? Have you told others about the surgery?

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Mindy78    372

Mindy78
Posted

Just a word of caution. The hormone dumping out of the fat can be difficult to deal with. Before committing to something, think about it. If you get mad think about the consequences. If you're extremely happy, make sure that it is real.

Either way good luck!

You are not kidding. I cry over the silliest things. Finally someone explained what was going on.

Sent from my 5054N using the BariatricPal App

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Jobey    177

Jobey
Posted

I met my now bf when I was about 2.5 months post op and I disclosed everything on our first date. But I was also diagnosed with an autoimmune disease at the beginning of the year so if this relationship was destined for anything I couldn't start it with a lie.

I'm so happy I did He's really been the one thing this year that hasn't sucked but I think he's also part of the reason why I'm pretty happy now

What if this guy is husband material?? Would you wanna start that with a lie??

HW - 140kg or 310lbs

SW - 132.5kg or 291.5lbs

CW - 92kg or 202.5lbs

Surgery date - 7 June 2016

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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