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Feeling surreal few days before surgery/slight fear
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Today is Saturday and my surgery is Tuesday. I've been so busy with school, my volunteer work, and more school that I haven't quite had time to entirely process how soon this thing is going down. This is my first surgery of any kind, so partially the surrealism comes from not knowing what happens once I'm in the hospital. (Obviously, I've read all my paperwork and can see on paper what will occur, but to me that is different than knowing from personal experience.)
Additionally, I'm discovering that I'm a little afraid. I have some anxiety issues that tend to crop up at the dentist and, as I discovered this summer before I went under for my endoscopy, when it comes time for anesthesia. I think my very little experience being a patient in hospitals paired with my dad and boyfriend both dying in hospitals a few years ago creates anxiety around the prospect of not waking up. Did anyone else experience any of this, the surrealism or fear? Did you find something to help you quell those concerns and anxieties?
My late boyfriend was actually an RN. He had the utmost faith in the team of medical professionals caring for him and he instilled in me that faith (though, never, ever blind). I try to focus on that, that these people are well-trained, dedicated, and caring individuals who will do everything they can to give me the best treatment. Sometimes focusing on this helps, but sometimes not.
I'm just looking to hear what others' experiences were.
Thanks!
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