Is lapband for me?

hungryforchange · September 11, 2007

Hi! Obviously I'm new here.

I've been reading here for a few days. Before I came to the forum, I was sure that lap band was for me and now I'm wondering.

I'm 40 years old and have been over weight most of my life. I have never been out of control over weight but maybe always 20 - 30 pounds over. As the years have gone on, it has become more and more and I am now 90 pounds over where I'd like to be. I have tried dieting and I lose it and then I give up and it comes right back.

I do not have good eating habits and I never have. I was raised on junk food and fast food and pop and Snacks and hamburger helper. Therefore, these are the foods that I like. I was praised for eating and finishing everything on my plate. I have had emotional issues and also eat emotionally. I look forward to eating and what I will eat. I think about food far in advace of eating and look forward to what I am going to eat. In short, I like to eat. I will often eat when I'm not hungry just because I want the particular food.

I have a son who is almost 3 and I am having a hard time keeping up with him. I also have my own business and I feel like I can't take it where I want to go at this weight. I am embarrassed and have no friends because I do not want to go out and see people or meet new people because of my weight. I constantly feel self conscious of myself and how I look and how I feel in my clothing. Either I am uncomfortable stuffed in clothes that do not fit or I look like a slob in loose fitting clothing that I am comfortable in. They say that men think about sex every 7 seconds? That's about how often I think about being fat in some form or another whether it's feeling uncomfortable in clothing, hating myself for what I'm eating, thinking that someone thinks I'm a pig, etc etc.

Of course I want to lose the weight for myself. I want to be happier and have friends and go out and be able to be more active with my son and have fun and take him swimming. I also want to be able to take my business to the next level but I just can't being at this weight. I cannot look professional and I just don't have the energy because of my weight. That said, I am the main household provider and so obviously I would like to take that next step with my business for my family.

My husband is very supportive and he will support any decision that I make so that is not a problem. He wants me to be happy and will be there for me 100% no matter what.

My insurance will not cover this because I am at 35 BMI with no other issues and so I would be self pay. I am looking at the Mexico options or the dr. in Colorado. The thing is that we are also looking into getting a new house but that will be put on hold for a few months if I do that. This is ok with all of us because once we have the house, I cannot take the time off from work that this surgery requires.

I am a wimp when it comes to pain. I don't like it. I did have a c section and I'm assuming that this will be very much like that or maybe even easier than a C section. Hopefully easier because I was very uncomfortable for quite some time after the c section.

Things that I'm worried about...obviously the complications. I have the money to pay for the surgery but for complications I doubt my insurance will cover that and that would be really reaching into the family funds at that point and would make things difficult for us financially. I have the amount needed right now to pay saved in the bank but not for expensive complications.

I'm afraid that I will still eat? I cannot imagine never having pop again (rather have none than drink it flat)? or bread or sugar? or my favorite diet snapple because it has artificial sweetener?

Will I ever feel "normal" again after the surgery or will I constantly be worrying about throwing up and feeling gassy and bloated and having to obsess about what I'm eating even more to make sure that I don't mess things up.

I get headaches when I don't eat enough now, so when I can only eat little bits am I going to have constant hungry headaches?

I want to lose this weight so bad and I want to keep it off. I HAVE to. I know that I will be so much happier...but can I do it?

Thanks for reading!

juliegeraci · September 11, 2007

YOu can have artificial sweetner without a problem. The problem you may have is your poor eating habits. Junk food can go down the lapband easily. Eat your Protein first then your vegies. Most likely you will not be able to consume much bread. Initially you will probably eat 1 cup of food. Then when you start getting fills that will go down. I can only eat 1/4 cup of food now at 5 fills. Good luck with your decision.

jfran · September 11, 2007

Some of what you say does make me wonder if you are READY for the band. You need to be in a place where you will accept nothing less than losing weight and gaining a healthier you. You will have to improve your eating habits especially during the first year or so when you are actively losing. It is important to remember that you will not have to give everything up completely. The key is everything in moderation. You may have to worry about pbing and gas and such depending on how you tolerate certain foods. But ask yourself if being thin and healthy is worth an occasional embarassing episode of slime. If the answer is yes, then the band is for you and you will be successful. In my experience, healthy eating, moderation, exercise, and a positive attitude breeds success. The pounds will melt off of you and you will feel like a new person. Good luck with your decision.

Boo Boo Kitty · September 11, 2007

YOu can have artificial sweetner without a problem. The problem you may have is your poor eating habits. Junk food can go down the lapband easily. Eat your Protein first then your vegies. Most likely you will not be able to consume much bread. Initially you will probably eat 1 cup of food. Then when you start getting fills that will go down. I can only eat 1/4 cup of food now at 5 fills. Good luck with your decision.

That is what concerned me as well. But I think if you are REALLY ready you can do it, but I think you need to change your relationship with food. You may want to start that with therapy. It can set your mind in the place it needs to be.

Good luck in whatever you choose. I think ultimately you have to decide if you are ready for the band.

WASaBubbleButt · September 12, 2007

Hi! Obviously I'm new here.
I've been reading here for a few days. Before I came to the forum, I was sure that lap band was for me and now I'm wondering.

I'm 40 years old and have been over weight most of my life.

I was 44 when I was banded, been overweight for about 7-8 years.

I have tried dieting and I lose it and then I give up and it comes right back.

Sounds like every single person posting here.

I do not have good eating habits and I never have. I was raised on junk food and fast food and pop and Snacks and hamburger helper. Therefore, these are the foods that I like. I was praised for eating and finishing everything on my plate. I have had emotional issues and also eat emotionally. I look forward to eating and what I will eat. I think about food far in advace of eating and look forward to what I am going to eat. In short, I like to eat. I will often eat when I'm not hungry just because I want the particular food.

Sounds like 99.9% of the people posting here and banded or looking to be banded.

I constantly feel self conscious of myself and how I look and how I feel in my clothing. Either I am uncomfortable stuffed in clothes that do not fit or I look like a slob in loose fitting clothing that I am comfortable in. They say that men think about sex every 7 seconds? That's about how often I think about being fat in some form or another whether it's feeling uncomfortable in clothing, hating myself for what I'm eating, thinking that someone thinks I'm a pig, etc etc.

Sounds like everyone posting here banded or thinking about being banded.

My insurance will not cover this because I am at 35 BMI with no other issues and so I would be self pay. I am looking at the Mexico options or the dr. in Colorado. The thing is that we are also looking into getting a new house but that will be put on hold for a few months if I do that. This is ok with all of us because once we have the house, I cannot take the time off from work that this surgery requires.

My insurance would have covered it but with a six month medically supervised diet. By the time I would have been through jumping through hoops, getting silly unnecessary diagnostics done such as testing for sleep apnea which I never had but would have had to be tested anyway, going to a nutritionist so she could tell me my food choices were wrong, going to a psych so he could tell me I have an eating disorder, and going to a consult so they could tell me I'm fat... After all that and the supervised diet I would just now be getting surgery and instead, I'm almost to goal.

I went to Mexico and would do it again in a heartbeat.

I am a wimp when it comes to pain.

Me too. I'm the one who when I get a paper cut I stick my finger in my mouth, hop up and down and whine a lot.

I don't like it. I did have a c section and I'm assuming that this will be very much like that or maybe even easier than a C section. Hopefully easier because I was very uncomfortable for quite some time after the c section.

This will be nothing even remotely close to a c-section. This is a piece of cake, a C-section is major surgery full of pain and horror. I never once took a narcotic after surgery. Not even in the recovery room. I took an IV version of something quite similar to Motrin, but not a narcotic. Now, about a week after surgery I did something stupid, non incision related (broken bone) and I took narcotics. But I swear, I never needed anything stronger than Motrin after surgery. They gave me Tramadol IV in recovery and every six hours for one day, then oral Tylenol liquid and I was cool with that.

This is where surgeon skill means everything in the world. One of the many first questions you ask :confused: your potential surgeon is what kind of drugs they give after surgery. If they have a Morphine pump waiting for you in recovery, find a new doc. If his patients need that kind of pain medicine to the point that it is a standard order, skip that one. They are not the best. You do deserve the best, right?

Skill means everything regarding pain. Some docs are a little rough during surgery and it causes pain later. Some docs are a little more skilled and experienced and their patients are merely sore after surgery.

Some people require a hiatal hernia or wide hiatus repair during banding and for some, that causes more pain than others. I had one and I still had no "morphine" level kind of pain. I had Tylenol pain.

Things that I'm worried about...obviously the complications. I have the money to pay for the surgery but for complications I doubt my insurance will cover that and that would be really reaching into the family funds at that point and would make things difficult for us financially. I have the amount needed right now to pay saved in the bank but not for expensive complications.

I usually leave insurance questions to Alexandra because she's the pro in that area but it is my understanding that if you were to erode, for example, and require emergency surgery your insurance MUST pay for it. If it is life or death they have to pay. But hopefully she will correct me if I am wrong.

Speaking of erosion, global stats are 1.3%. The US has higher erosion stats vs. Mexico and it is merely an assumption but my assumption is that US has higher erosion stats because banding is a big money maker for docs and there are all kinds of newbie docs doing the procedure and they simply aren't experienced yet. My doc has a 0.00016% erosion stat. One of the newer docs in Mexico has a 3-4% erosion rate. This is why research is absolutely critical. You need to know the questions to ask and especially the tough questions and the manipulative answers. If they refuse to tell you their erosion stats but instead, insist on averaging out all their stats and giving you one number vs. a stat for each complication, run the other way.

Slips, global stats are supposedly around 3% but probably double that is more accurate. Of the slips that do happen an unfill of your band (simple office procedure) fixes that 80% of the time. Sometimes it needs to be surgically repositioned, many US docs will simply remove it in those 20% of cases. This is where an experienced doc makes ALL the difference in the world. Make sure your doc has done *at least* 250 bands, preferably 500. There is a learning curve to banding and you don't want to be within their learning curve, you want to be the patient that goes to the doc who completed his learning curve.

I'm afraid that I will still eat? I cannot imagine never having pop again (rather have none than drink it flat)? or bread or sugar? or my favorite diet snapple because it has artificial sweetener?

Soda... it hurts many people. It really doesn't hurt your stoma, the gas causes pain in your lower stomach and it HURTS. Some drink it with no problem, I can't. I don't like pain because I'm a pain weenie. I lived on Diet Coke. I could go weeks and weeks and a drop of Water would never pass my lips. Today, I think about a Diet Coke about once every month or so and the thought is gone in seconds. I prefer Water.< /p>

Artificial sweeteners... I live on them. Why can't you have them?

Fear of eating too much. You will, then you'll barf, then you'll not want to do that again. Bread... another fear of mine, the fear of losing it. Today I just don't care. It's a good thing too, bread is what got me fat. I had to make a decision before banding, did I want bread or did I want thin? I wanted thin, so bread had to go. I'm an all or none person. I want the whole damn loaf of bread or none at all. Today I am totally fine with none at all.

Today you are hyperfocused on food. You won't believe me and that's okay, but I'm going to tell you anyway that with the band you finally reach a point where food isn't your priority anymore. You really do get to a point where you eat to live and not live to eat. Thin people have no clue what they will order from a restaurant until they are there and looking at the menu. Fat people are pre-ordering in their mind from the moment they decide which restaurant they are going to. Thin people eat until they are no longer hungry. Fat people eat until one more bite of food won't possibly fit in their overstuffed stomach.

Thin people eat when they get hungry. Fat people are planning lunch before they finish Breakfast. Fat people are planning dinner while they eat lunch. Oh... then the Snacks. We pre-plan those too. Eating when you are not hungry... that's head hunger. That chocolate cake is calling your name. We have ALL been there. We are all still there to some degree. When you are battling stomach hunger (true hunger) and head hunger, hunger wins out. When you have a full stomach but chocolate cake is calling your name, you really do reach a point where you overcome that and realize, that cake will be there if you are hungry later. Thin people will eat it later, fat people think about that cake non stop until they eat it and then they want more. Yes, we get it. We do the same thing. The band will help you deal with that in a way you have never been able to deal with it before.

Will I ever feel "normal" again after the surgery or will I constantly be worrying about throwing up and feeling gassy and bloated and having to obsess about what I'm eating even more to make sure that I don't mess things up.

You will learn to deal with it so it is a non issue.

I get headaches when I don't eat enough now, so when I can only eat little bits am I going to have constant hungry headaches?

That is because of your crappy diet. You eat more carbs than you do Protein. With the band you HAVE to eat Protein first, so you get more protein than you do carbs and you won't deal with blood sugar issues that cause the headaches. SOME of that is learned behavior as well, it's another justification for more food. One you don't have to feel guilty about. It's almost a medical reason to over eat. MOST of that is a blood sugar issue from a god-awful diet. Yes, it will go away as your diet improves.

I want to lose this weight so bad and I want to keep it off. I HAVE to. I know that I will be so much happier...but can I do it?

How bad do you want thin? It's not a snippy question, but a sincere question. If you don't want "thin" badly enough you'll eat around the band, or the bypass, or the DS, or the sleeve, or the any diet/procedure you have. If you want it bad enough, you'll get it.

hungryforchange · September 12, 2007

Thank you for all of the wonderful replies...especially bubble.

I have been reading and reading and reading and I think I'm ready to do this. I can't do it until December. That will give me time to get everything in place.

Thank you all again!