Is lapband for me?
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Hi! Obviously I'm new here.
I've been reading here for a few days. Before I came to the forum, I was sure that lap band was for me and now I'm wondering.
I'm 40 years old and have been over weight most of my life. I have never been out of control over weight but maybe always 20 - 30 pounds over. As the years have gone on, it has become more and more and I am now 90 pounds over where I'd like to be. I have tried dieting and I lose it and then I give up and it comes right back.
I do not have good eating habits and I never have. I was raised on junk food and fast food and pop and Snacks and hamburger helper. Therefore, these are the foods that I like. I was praised for eating and finishing everything on my plate. I have had emotional issues and also eat emotionally. I look forward to eating and what I will eat. I think about food far in advace of eating and look forward to what I am going to eat. In short, I like to eat. I will often eat when I'm not hungry just because I want the particular food.
I have a son who is almost 3 and I am having a hard time keeping up with him. I also have my own business and I feel like I can't take it where I want to go at this weight. I am embarrassed and have no friends because I do not want to go out and see people or meet new people because of my weight. I constantly feel self conscious of myself and how I look and how I feel in my clothing. Either I am uncomfortable stuffed in clothes that do not fit or I look like a slob in loose fitting clothing that I am comfortable in. They say that men think about sex every 7 seconds? That's about how often I think about being fat in some form or another whether it's feeling uncomfortable in clothing, hating myself for what I'm eating, thinking that someone thinks I'm a pig, etc etc.
Of course I want to lose the weight for myself. I want to be happier and have friends and go out and be able to be more active with my son and have fun and take him swimming. I also want to be able to take my business to the next level but I just can't being at this weight. I cannot look professional and I just don't have the energy because of my weight. That said, I am the main household provider and so obviously I would like to take that next step with my business for my family.
My husband is very supportive and he will support any decision that I make so that is not a problem. He wants me to be happy and will be there for me 100% no matter what.
My insurance will not cover this because I am at 35 BMI with no other issues and so I would be self pay. I am looking at the Mexico options or the dr. in Colorado. The thing is that we are also looking into getting a new house but that will be put on hold for a few months if I do that. This is ok with all of us because once we have the house, I cannot take the time off from work that this surgery requires.
I am a wimp when it comes to pain. I don't like it. I did have a c section and I'm assuming that this will be very much like that or maybe even easier than a C section. Hopefully easier because I was very uncomfortable for quite some time after the c section.
Things that I'm worried about...obviously the complications. I have the money to pay for the surgery but for complications I doubt my insurance will cover that and that would be really reaching into the family funds at that point and would make things difficult for us financially. I have the amount needed right now to pay saved in the bank but not for expensive complications.
I'm afraid that I will still eat? I cannot imagine never having pop again (rather have none than drink it flat)? or bread or sugar? or my favorite diet snapple because it has artificial sweetener?
Will I ever feel "normal" again after the surgery or will I constantly be worrying about throwing up and feeling gassy and bloated and having to obsess about what I'm eating even more to make sure that I don't mess things up.
I get headaches when I don't eat enough now, so when I can only eat little bits am I going to have constant hungry headaches?
I want to lose this weight so bad and I want to keep it off. I HAVE to. I know that I will be so much happier...but can I do it?
Thanks for reading!