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Not telling anyone. What do you say?



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Well, the guidelines for bariatric surgery are continuously evolving. There is evidence of the benefit of bariatric surgery for Class 1 Obesity (30+BMI) as well as the benefit for overweight patients with significant comorbidities, of which I have about 10. That, coupled with a rapid weight gain over the past year does actually qualify me for surgery.

My original sleeve was made larger than most because of my severe GERD. Unfortunately the sleeve has made it worse. My surgeon recommended a bypass prior to my sleeve surgery, but I was too scared to do it.

Remember that there is a broad range of what is considered safe medical practice, and there are indeed reputable surgeons who will do bariatric surgery for patients like me.

I support everyone in doing whatever is best for them, including choosing their surgeon and procedure.

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Then we can all be grateful that you nth licenced to practice medicine.

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I told my family first. I waited until I had gone through all the steps and had a surgery date before telling a couple people at work. I have had 3 other surgeries in less than a year (both feet and a new knee) so another surgery with the possibility of being out of work 6 weeks (right after I took a 3 week vacation) was a big deal. I kept it quiet at work although my department knew I was having another surgery until about a week before. I made the 'announcement' in a departmental meeting. I didn't want people to see me losing weight quickly, possibly losing my hair and thinking the worse. I've gotten nothing but positive feedback.

Giggling..... one of the reasons I started telling also. I didn't want people thinking I was a meth or drug addict.

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I didn't want them to think I had cancer

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I told very few people at first. And no one wants to hear Portion Control and exercise so that's exactly what I said til they stopped asking. LOL. They want to hear that you're taking a magic pill or are doing some kind of easy weight loss yoga. After awhile I opened up about it. I just didn't want to hear horror stories and OH NO YOU LOOK FINE when I was fat as hell and unhappy.

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I have already told people at work and all of my family know. The people at work have seen me struggle with diet after diet and give up. They are supportive. One is my boss and she needs to know in case I have to miss more work for Dr visits or complications. I'm doing this for me.

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Actually, you do not need to give your employer the diagnosis (unless you want too). If your doctor has you on a lifting restriction of 10 lbs or less for 3 weeks, that what you need to disclose.

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I have already told people at work and all of my family know. The people at work have seen me struggle with diet after diet and give up. They are supportive. One is my boss and she needs to know in case I have to miss more work for Dr visits or complications. I'm doing this for me.

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Actually, you do not need to give your employer the diagnosis (unless you want too). If your doctor has you on a lifting restriction of 10 lbs or less for 3 weeks, that what you need to disclose.
True. I didn't need to. But they are happy for me and I don't have to worry about asking for days off. I have my fmla paperwork filled out. I've always been a very open person.

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So... the forum is totally okay with @RealScoobyDoo and Imdeb being the same sockpuppet?

@@LipstickLady , thoughts?

Edited by Fredbear

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I'm not being nasty. In general most websites prohibit sockpuppets.

Sockpuppets are generally used by unscrupulous people to make it appear that other people agree with them.

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ImDeb, sorry I didn't realize that you have the corner on rudeness . I've been an advance practice nurse a patient advocate and high risk case manager for over 30 years. Amazing how your reinterpretation of information you found on the HIA website fits so perfectly with your agenda.

And what is the deal with you and @realscoobydoo? Weird how one of you posts and the other is there to chime in.

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I told everyone I have daily contact with. The day before my surgery I sent out a mass email to all my co-workers telling them I was having the surgery. I didn't post it on social media only because I tend to not post really personal things. But I'm very honest about it. I started a new job five months after the surgery and I was talking about it the first day I was there. My experience has been phenomenal. Nobody has said one unkind thing to me.

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I'm always fascinated by this topic because like "Imighknow", I too am very very private and dont like telling people my business. It stems from growing up and sharing information with people who I thought were friends, only to have it used against me and embarrass me later. I have real trust issues with the 'general public' and have learned the hard way to keep my business to myself. I've only shared this with my husband and the two girls I work with because my schedule affects them directly. They've been very supportive and excited for me. But no one else knows and I'm going to keep it that way. I still don't know what i'm going to say once I start seeing friends/family who will most definitely ask what I've been doing. My mother cannot keep her mouth shut and will tell everyone she knows. I come from a very judgmental family who think they have all the answers to life and know how everyone else should do things. Its exhausting being around them.

My friends are all trying to lose weight as well, but they all like to gossip and share info that they shouldn't - I've had them tell me things about people they should not be telling anyone. So, I'm not sure what I'll be saying to them either. But I cannot confide it any of these folks because I don't want my business shared and I know they cannot keep info to themselves.

I applaud all of you who feel so comfortable in sharing your info so freely. it sounds like its benefitted others and it makes you happy. I think that's great. I wish I had the same experiences, but having been burned too many times in the past, I've learned that I have to keep my information to myself and just let people wonder. I don't like going on Facebook that much because its just an endless stream of people over-sharing and others jumping in and shaming them for their decisions. People like being snarky and bullies. Its safer in the corner. Heh...

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I'm not being nasty. In general most websites prohibit sockpuppets.

Sockpuppets are generally used by unscrupulous people to make it appear that other people agree with them.

I think in this case the poster is just angry and insecure. I grew up in Manhattan so know better than too make eye contact so and regret regret engaging

I noticed today that there are several posters who seem to travel in packs and post their agreements and "likes"

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I started out telling on immediate family, but then closer to my surgery I told more people and the girls at work.. everyone has been super supportive and it's nice that I can just be truthful about it.. it was my choice, and I'm happy with it.. good luck

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    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
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    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
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    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
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