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7days before surgery and now scared

wantenergy83

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wantenergy83    5

wantenergy83
Posted

My surgery is November 7th... I jumped through all the hoops for insurance and was approved so fast. I knew before I started that i wouldnt get paid sick leave or temp disability but I went for it anyways. I was prepared to make life happen on my fiancees pay but now its really hitting me that I must depend on someone else again and I havent had to do that since I was with my abusive, drug addict, exhusband nearly 8yrs ago. I hate knowing i wont have my own money coming in to support my children. I know my fiancee loves me and my children we have been together for 6.5yrs. I have worked for myself for 6yrs, i dont take vacations and I dont ask for help...this isnt like me to lay down and accept help...especially nearing Christmas... How do I learn to accept that i will not be providing for my children for almost 6wks and to accept his help?

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_Kate_    2,224

_Kate_
Posted

Turn it round and if he was having the surgery to be healthy would you support him? I bet you would. :)

Also remember its 6 weeks and not forever. I know its hard as I was alone a long time before I married my second husband so I know exactly where you are coming from and no it isn't easy.

Have you discussed your feelings with your partner? Does he know how you feel and what was his response?

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Mountaingal    322

Mountaingal
Posted

You may not be bringing money into your relationship for six weeks but you will be bringing in something that may be even more valuable. You will be working towards a longer healthier life to spend with him and your children. You are blessed if he is willing and able to do this for you.

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VSG_Brandnewkindame    17

VSG_Brandnewkindame
Posted

As a single mother, I understand why it is SO hard to accept help... but life & health = the best kind of wealth one could have!! & you will be able to return the favor 10 fold... & be a better mother & companion all for making this choice. Trust the process - for you. Good luck!!

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trekker954    421

trekker954
Posted

Why six weeks? If this is really worrying you, I'll ask again why six weeks? What type of job do you have that will require six weeks off. I was stir crazy after two weeks and couldn't wait to get back to work. I even flew after three weeks and again at four weeks for meetings.

If I didn't have sick leave, fiance or not, I wouldn't be taking six weeks off. Most of us are feeling just fine after 2 or definitely after 3. Only a small percentage have complications.

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KristenLe    5,980

KristenLe
Posted

@@wantenergy83 Keep reminding yourself that you can't take care of yourself or your children with the health issues that come along with obesity and by taking this time for yourself - you'll be in a better place to take care of your children. You deserve to be able to get healthy and have someone take care of you for a short time. Be thankful that you have someone able to help you during this time - this is for your future - and your family's future!!! Stay strong!!!

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wantenergy83    5

wantenergy83
Posted

Turn it round and if he was having the surgery to be healthy would you support him? I bet you would. :)

Also remember its 6 weeks and not forever. I know its hard as I was alone a long time before I married my second husband so I know exactly where you are coming from and no it isn't easy.

Have you discussed your feelings with your partner? Does he know how you feel and what was his response?

Today, a few hours after posting this I finally told him how I really feel.. How i just hate relinquishing control. (It was through text message) he replied with "you arent alone and you never will be".

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wantenergy83    5

wantenergy83
Posted

Why six weeks? If this is really worrying you, I'll ask again why six weeks? What type of job do you have that will require six weeks off. I was stir crazy after two weeks and couldn't wait to get back to work. I even flew after three weeks and again at four weeks for meetings.

If I didn't have sick leave, fiance or not, I wouldn't be taking six weeks off. Most of us are feeling just fine after 2 or definitely after 3. Only a small percentage have complications.

I am a full-time caretaker to a wonderful woman with Alzheimer's... I lift her multiple times a day.

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wantenergy83    5

wantenergy83
Posted

@@wantenergy83 Keep reminding yourself that you can't take care of yourself or your children with the health issues that come along with obesity and by taking this time for yourself - you'll be in a better place to take care of your children. You deserve to be able to get healthy and have someone take care of you for a short time. Be thankful that you have someone able to help you during this time - this is for your future - and your family's future!!! Stay strong!!!

I keep telling myself that it is for the best its just more of me learning to trust.

Sent from my LGLS775 using the BariatricPal App

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Djmohr    6,965

Djmohr
Posted

@@wantenergy83

I would just call out that you should not be out long with this surgery either. I could have returned to work within a week.

How much time are you taking off?

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wantenergy83    5

wantenergy83
Posted

@@wantenergy83

I would just call out that you should not be out long with this surgery either. I could have returned to work within a week.

How much time are you taking off?

I lift over 100lbs on a daily basis, multiple times a day... I lift elderly people frequently throughout the day... I work for myself... For my health i know i can not return to work within a week.

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Djmohr    6,965

Djmohr
Posted

@@wantenergy83

Definately not.....if you are doing any heavy lifting it will need to be a while. So sorry that this puts the added stress on you but it will be worth it in the end.

I wish you the best of luck with your upcoming surgery!

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Go To Topic Listing General Weight Loss Surgery Discussions

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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