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Feel like such a failure...



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Totally have your back and if you need a partner - lemme know, I need help lately and I'm only 4 months out :/ Roommate is getting harsh to live with again, and I'm kinda going why bother... :( but I know why I bother - its just pushing through his verbal bs is getting harder lately...

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I'm in the same boat! I was at 3 years in August and I have about 20 pounds to lose. I can eat so much more and sweets are the enemy!! Does anyone have a liquid diet I can look at? I need to get back on track!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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@

You poor thing it's hard enough the first 6 mths after surgery to deal with the changes let alone having someone verbally abuse you - totally not acceptable!!! Don't feel you are alone cause you're not... The support on this site is amazing. I don't tolerate unacceptable behavior and if it was me would say I am done and move on but that's me I'm afraid???? Feel free to pm anytime. Just remember you did this surgery for you, yes it gets rough and things get hard and some days you feel like a failure and you feel you may never feel normal again but believe me the sun does shine through....

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You poor thing it's hard enough the first 6 mths after surgery to deal with the changes let alone having someone verbally abuse you - totally not acceptable!!! Don't feel you are alone cause you're not... The support on this site is amazing. I don't tolerate unacceptable behavior and if it was me would say I am done and move on but that's me I'm afraid Feel free to pm anytime. Just remember you did this surgery for you, yes it gets rough and things get hard and some days you feel like a failure and you feel you may never feel normal again but believe me the sun does shine through....

I agree. Verbal and emotional abuse are horrid. Fact. Don't deal with it, demand changes from him or change your address yourself.

There is no such thing as being "stuck" even though you may feel like it. Make a plan for yourself, VALUE yourself, and follow through.

There is a LOT of life to be lived yet, friend. Grab it!

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@@LisaMergs @@Unhappysleever - Thanks y'all... I'm not even sure what to say - cause I know this cycle and I know how it goes. Just not sure how I let myself get wrapped up in it again.

I started over yesterday, no more grabbing food from second job that I know I shouldn't be eating. Took my tablet with me to work, so I could keep my mind busy with school work while waiting for a delivery.

Full time job is a lil more difficult cause I sit at a desk about 85% of the time. That's usually when I'm on here. I'm working on it, bought beef Jerky and I bring my lunch usually - and cream of wheat or grits for Breakfast is usually all I can tolerate - not a big Breakfast eater. Cofffffeeeeeeeee! lol, Tonight I go to get more Protein since I'm off from second job.

One day at a time.

Edited by Raenh

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Well, the whole point of me approaching Alex a few months ago and asking to get a Regain forum going was just this.

There are a LOT of us out there. Some of us didn't ever reach our intended goal. Like me, i came within about 15 lbs of reaching my goal then gained about 20 back. So I too felt like a major failure. However, my husband pointed out to me over this past weekend that i really have lost a lot so far.

Just because we take a few steps backward does not mean that we can't get moving forward again.

Good luck. please use the resources and support that's here. you can do it!

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It is so easy to feel this way because we know what we set out to do and we look at our weight numbers like the lottery, just 20lbs and I win, lol. But let me say this, everyday is a new day to start over. I too feel the same way. I had the sleeve surgery in May 2015 and a year and some odd months later I am only 43lbs down...THAT'S FAILURE!! But after a long bout with depression I am thinking a different way. I have an addiction to chips, yes an addiction that is my vice, not candy or any other fatting food just chips.

So I have begun to take things out of my diet and substitute the bad for the better. (drink your protein) I have started back hitting the gym at least 4 times a week. This is a mental fight we have with ourselves and we think we have SELF control and we walk on the edge and before we know it bam, dam old habits are sitting on our hips, thighs and bellies. DON'T DO IT, you are in control!!!

Everyday is a new day to walk a little more, and eat the hamburger not the fries. Make the eggs and bacon for Breakfast not bread. In our case we must take two or three steps toward our goal not just one. Don't give up regroup. Look at the Paleo diet it is a good way to eat right and not give up taste.

FAILURE is not dusting yourself off and working toward your goal, start with a small one. It's December 2 work toward losing 3lbs this month just to get you back on the right track. You are worth it! Nobody said the journey would be perfect, but it is doable.

Work toward your goal everyday! What did you do today to work toward your goal? When a sprinter falls down he does not start over at the beginning, he dusts his knees and get back into the race. His goal is still to finish the race and that's winning. Your goal is to be a healthier you that's winning!!!!

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Good Luck

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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