really need to have a mini meltdown

[ella37 455]

I shouldn't be complaining, I've had a really easy recovery so far with no issues getting in my Protein or Water, but I'm having a rough time mentally and emotionally.

First of all I also haven't had a cigarette (except one cheat) since my surgery day. I was not required to quit before surgery but I'm trying to now. I also used to get tons of caffeine by drinking TONS of soda and I obviously haven't had one of those either. I switched to diet before surgery but my body is completely used to lots of caffeine, sugar, and nicotine. I feel like all this crap on top of not being able to eat is just getting to be too much for me to handle. I'm so EFFING sick of this liquid diet crap. I feel like my head is going to explode.

All of my comforts (including taking baths which I LOVE) are just gone right now and I'm really struggling. I know there's nothing anyone can do and I chose this so I'm basically just being a huge brat, but I'm losin it and had to get it out!

[mschan218 81]

Its good to vent and get it out!

Be strong. Cry. Shout. Laugh.

Just hold on through it all and know you are not alone!

(((HUGS)))

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[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I agree. It's ok to express your feelings and emotions. Just see if you can do it in healthy ways.

What you are going through now is the primary reason I weaned myself off of caffeine pre-op.

You can do it!

[chycky 671]

If you can don't underestimate the power of Decaf to satiate you! I am sure it is harder to do this right at post op. Best of luck

[blizair09 3,250]

Try to find something to indulge in that you can do. For me, going to the spa every day during my recovery has done the trick. I walk to and from (about a mile from my house each way), so I get my exercise in, too.

I am one tan mofo these days (a stark contrast from my usual pasty-white self), and the massage, red-light therapy and hydration therapy has made my skin softer and has actually helped fade my stretch marks.< /p>

Also, Decaf iced tea has worked wonders for me. I am as surprised as anyone that I have been caffeine-free for 25 days now, but, it hasn't been as bad as I think. (Although, out of everything, I miss diet coke the most!)

Hang in there!!

[PorkChopExpress 831]

You have a lot of addictions, and you're in withdrawal right now. Trust me when I say it'll pass. I was big on sweets and a lifelong Coke addict. I resolved to eliminate all of that from my diet forever, once my pre-op diet started. The sugar detox I've been through the last six weeks has basically taken away the craving for sweets. I have tendrils in my mind left, those triggers of seeing something that I used to enjoy eating and thinking, "Oh I want one of those." Like seeing a box of donuts at work. But the fact is, when I really stop to think about it...I don't actually want one. My brain is just locked into a series of triggers and reactions that have become habit, over the years.

The detox from caffeine and sugar has made Coke another thing I no longer crave. And you would've been hard pressed to find a bigger Coke fan than me, before I started this process. It's just that I've let it go, and I don't miss it now.

You are mourning the loss of your old patterns and habits, and your brain is rebelling against the fact that you've robbed it of the ability to manipulate your behavior. It's a fight, and you're winning, so keep fighting it! This is why I tell everyone heading into the pre-op diet that it's crucial that you follow it to the letter, and that includes ditching whatever addictions you had beforehand. It's setting the tone, and it's baggage you don't need post-op.

Edited October 20, 2016 by PorkChopExpress

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

Stay strong and positive. Keep up the excellent effort.

[kyboo1972 90]

You are definetly not alone in all of this. sometimes it's good to just get it out and sometimes with our everyday people it's hard to do. Because unless they've went through this themselves, then they don't know the feelings. Vent often, no one's going to judge. Good luck on your journey

[ella37 455]

Thanks everyone. Like I said, I've had it easy recovery wise and there have been definite good things like ending my caffeine addiction (I think after 11 days it's getting easier), and losing 13 lbs in 10 days, but it's just rough sometimes. I think I'll feel like a new person when I can get off the liquid diet on Tuesday.

This is tough!! Anyone who says this is the "easy way out" doesn't realize how hard it is!

Edited October 20, 2016 by ella37

[facebro29 272]

I understand how you feel. The liquid diet is VERY hard. Don't know how people did it for pre-op and post op. I started the purée stage 3 days ago and I want to cry as all I want to do is chew. Seriously in tears typing that.

It will get better we just have to hold on. We've built lots of addictions over a lifetime and it will take time to break these. Believe in yourself. You can do it!!

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[GACaldwell 112]

My partner quit smoking and was able to use cinnamon sticks (Like the kind in the grocery spice section) to help with his oral fixation. He'd just walk around with it in his mouth when he felt the urge to smoke and mentally it tricked his brain. eventually he was able to put them down too.

Good luck!! You're doing so great and kicking them all at once is amazing!

[dobert 22]

I quit smoking, at least a pot of coffee a day, and my addiction to fast food 6 days before surgery. I completely understand where you're coming from. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Day 3 post op, I completely unleashed on my poor husband like a crazy maniacal banshee.

It is completely normal. My doc told me to try Decaf coffee drinks. So I picked up decaf instant Cappuccino and I allow myself a half cup daily to sip on. Just to tame the beast. Then, I chew on cinnamon toothpicks or suck on cinnamon altoids for the cigarettes. I promise that it gets so much better once you get past the liquid phase.

My best advice to you is find a professional or group to talk to asap. I am doing over eaters anonymous. You need a way to express and work through your addictions. It will help so very much!!!

Good luck. You can do it!!!!

HW 427 SW 358

sleeved 10/12/16

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.