Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How insensitive...



Recommended Posts

So my boss knows that I was going out on medical leave to have Bariatric surgery. She told me she was sending a gift for me to the house. I just received a box of gourmet cookies!

I know I am a little overly emotional as I just had surgery Monday and have not slept well, but this truly hurt my feelings!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah I'd say on the surface that certainly sounds not only insensitive, but truly unprofessional from someone who is supposed to be your superior. It's hard to read "intent" from people sometimes so I wouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions, but I can understand your frustration with the situation.

The easier you can let things like this pass the better off you'll be in the long run.

On a lighter note...congrats on the surgery! How's everything going so far?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. Perhaps your boss asked someone to send you something nice and that someone was unaware of what you were going to do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know how you feel. My nephew and his wife sent me a big arrangement of chocolate covered strawberries for my birthday two weeks after I had a long talk with them about my surgery and went through details about what I can/don't eat etc.

Try not to let it bother you - this is an emotional time anyway. She may have only remembered you were having surgery and it may not have really registered with her what surgery you were having. If you have family at home - let them eat the Cookies. I took the strawberries to work.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are all correct.. I just need to let it go. I work with a small group, and I was completely open about my surgery as I figured I will obviously look different so why not be honest. I know how my company works, and I am sure she ordered them herself. Oh well, I was expecting flowers or something to brighten the day..... never expected food!

@@smg I am doing very well. I have been sore, but today I feel pretty good. Trying to deal with the clear liquid diet. Looking forward to full liquids. The hardest part for me so far is not being able to comfortably sleep in bed. I have been sleeping in a chair in the living room since Tuesday.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited by NikkiRT

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@NikkiRT Could she possibly not realize that you won't be able to eat Cookies following weight loss surgery - or is she one of the ones that thinks it's the "easy way out" and since they waved the magic wand you are cured of your obesity?? That is so weird.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@KristenLe we had a long conversation the day before I went out on leave about the food stages after surgery. It is really weird! Oh well.. guess the kids will enjoy them.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think HFFM has the most likely explanation. She probably asked an admin or someone else to send you "something" and didn't specify what to send or go into detail about what surgery and that person thought "oh, i'd love for someone to send me Cookies so I'll send her cookies"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Flowers and sweets are the most common, token gifts for anything involving medicine. People order one or the other without even thinking. In the case of sweets, the sender never expects that the recipient will eat the whole thing anyway. It's more about having nibbles on hand for visitors. I'm sure you know from your own experiences in sending such gifts. Your boss had good intentions regardless of who actually placed the order.

@@NikkiRT, it doesn't even matter. You have far more important things to do and think about, yes, no, maybe? Deep breath. Be well. Smile. For your own well-being. .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess it truly depends on the relationship you have with your boss. Is she usually nice to you? Or has she ever been snarky?

In my opinion, it doesn't seem like she meant to hurt your feelings. Maybe she just wasn't thinking. Maybe she wanted to send you a treat for this great step. I could be totally wrong.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. Really?? She is either clueless or snarky. Maybe she is a smidgon envious of how you eventually look and feel. Let's hope ffor clueless. Anyway, just think of how great you feel when you start going into work looking and feeling even better than her. B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Obtuse insensitivity at best, and it sounds like jerkoff action by what you are saying. Sorry. Really sucks and low, but you go high by succeeding! Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow how stupid of her. I do believe she likely had someone else do it bc I would like to think she was more compassionate and kind, I mean it's almost like a prank, I suppose it's the thought that counts but I would be pissed and knowing me and my big mouth I would nicely say something!! But that's me...I'm extremely assertive bc I have disabilities and have had to vocally fight for my rights ! Whatever the case happy recovery

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×