So my boss knows that I was going out on medical leave to have Bariatric surgery. She told me she was sending a gift for me to the house. I just received a box of gourmet cookies!

I know I am a little overly emotional as I just had surgery Monday and have not slept well, but this truly hurt my feelings!

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Yeah I'd say on the surface that certainly sounds not only insensitive, but truly unprofessional from someone who is supposed to be your superior. It's hard to read "intent" from people sometimes so I wouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions, but I can understand your frustration with the situation.

The easier you can let things like this pass the better off you'll be in the long run.

On a lighter note...congrats on the surgery! How's everything going so far?

Wow. Perhaps your boss asked someone to send you something nice and that someone was unaware of what you were going to do?

I know how you feel. My nephew and his wife sent me a big arrangement of chocolate covered strawberries for my birthday two weeks after I had a long talk with them about my surgery and went through details about what I can/don't eat etc.

Try not to let it bother you - this is an emotional time anyway. She may have only remembered you were having surgery and it may not have really registered with her what surgery you were having. If you have family at home - let them eat the Cookies. I took the strawberries to work.

You are all correct.. I just need to let it go. I work with a small group, and I was completely open about my surgery as I figured I will obviously look different so why not be honest. I know how my company works, and I am sure she ordered them herself. Oh well, I was expecting flowers or something to brighten the day..... never expected food!

@@smg I am doing very well. I have been sore, but today I feel pretty good. Trying to deal with the clear liquid diet. Looking forward to full liquids. The hardest part for me so far is not being able to comfortably sleep in bed. I have been sleeping in a chair in the living room since Tuesday.

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Edited October 14, 20169 yr by NikkiRT

@@NikkiRT Could she possibly not realize that you won't be able to eat Cookies following weight loss surgery - or is she one of the ones that thinks it's the "easy way out" and since they waved the magic wand you are cured of your obesity?? That is so weird.

@@KristenLe we had a long conversation the day before I went out on leave about the food stages after surgery. It is really weird! Oh well.. guess the kids will enjoy them.

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I think HFFM has the most likely explanation. She probably asked an admin or someone else to send you "something" and didn't specify what to send or go into detail about what surgery and that person thought "oh, i'd love for someone to send me cookies so I'll send her cookies"

Flowers and sweets are the most common, token gifts for anything involving medicine. People order one or the other without even thinking. In the case of sweets, the sender never expects that the recipient will eat the whole thing anyway. It's more about having nibbles on hand for visitors. I'm sure you know from your own experiences in sending such gifts. Your boss had good intentions regardless of who actually placed the order.

@@NikkiRT, it doesn't even matter. You have far more important things to do and think about, yes, no, maybe? Deep breath. Be well. Smile. For your own well-being. .

Omg stupidity!!!!

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I guess it truly depends on the relationship you have with your boss. Is she usually nice to you? Or has she ever been snarky?

In my opinion, it doesn't seem like she meant to hurt your feelings. Maybe she just wasn't thinking. Maybe she wanted to send you a treat for this great step. I could be totally wrong.

Wow. Really?? She is either clueless or snarky. Maybe she is a smidgon envious of how you eventually look and feel. Let's hope ffor clueless. Anyway, just think of how great you feel when you start going into work looking and feeling even better than her.

Well that sucked. Give her some gourmet Protein powder for Christmas.

Obtuse insensitivity at best, and it sounds like jerkoff action by what you are saying. Sorry. Really sucks and low, but you go high by succeeding! Good luck!

Wow how stupid of her. I do believe she likely had someone else do it bc I would like to think she was more compassionate and kind, I mean it's almost like a prank, I suppose it's the thought that counts but I would be pissed and knowing me and my big mouth I would nicely say something!! But that's me...I'm extremely assertive bc I have disabilities and have had to vocally fight for my rights ! Whatever the case happy recovery

Although I don't know anything about your boss, that was a shitty thing to do anyway you look at it (save the and give them back to her with a thank you card) is she possibly a little heavy and maybe feeling a little.. Jealous?

Munky