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Concerned family members



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My parents are supportive of my decision but today my mother then asked me "Are you sure?" and I replied Yes immediately.

I can tell they are worried and I am running out of patience a little bit.

What are you all dealing with and what are you saying?

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I went through this a little bit with family members. I just would re-direct the conversation to the cold hard facts about obesity. Anytime someone tried to scare me with worries about surgery I would just say "yeah but that's not as concerning as me getting diabetes or worse if I remain obese".

The most vocal objectors in my family were surprisingly obese themselves! Now I've survived surgery (almost 2 weeks post op) they are making very passive aggressive remarks about how it's shallow to go through surgery just to look better never mind all the health benefits....

It's drives me crazy! I am getting to the point where I'm not even going to allow the objectors to speak to me about it

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Edited by katie09/21/2016

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Wow, Katie ... I hate that for you. All we want is support.

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As "they" say on the street, you're a grownass woman. You make the decisions for your body, your health, your appearance, your life. If your parents are obese, it's a factor in their reluctance. Not your problem. Since it's your parents, you probably don't want to tell them to flip off. You can give them your reasons in the few words and tell them that their love for you should make them happy for you because you're happy..

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My dad was concerned about the idea of me having wls, but now that I'm almost 6months post-op and he sees how it has changed my life, he is unbelievably supportive and so happy I made this decision.

We just need to stay focused on our goals and let negativity just roll off :)

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My mom tried to talk me out of it from day one until the day of surgery. I had friends try to talk me out of it because they knew people who had complications. I appreciated that they were concerned, but this was my decision. I rather have a chance of complications from this over dying of a heart attack or losing my feet / eye due to not being able to control my diabetes.

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I'm not sure my parents really believed I was going to go through with it, since they tend to worry a lot but haven't really voiced concerns about the surgery. I'm sure they will be happy for me once they see the benefits.

When I got the call that I was approved and would be having surgery 2 weeks later, I decided not to tell them until after its all done. They were leaving for a once in a lifetime vacation and will still be on vacation when I have my surgery, so I don't want them worrying about it when they should be enjoying themselves.

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My husband is so supportive and after the pre op appt Tuesday he was asking questions and super concerned. I asked how he was feeling and he said supportive and scared.

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My daughter is unsupportive, and is doing her level best to guilt me out of it.

Her latest is about how "we're not going to be able to eat together anymore", and saying she'll have her main meal at lunch while she's at work.

She knows I'm not going to relent, but that's not going to stop her passive-aggression, either.

It's quite frustrating for me.

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Your life, your rules

manitobamama

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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