Pictures... I can't believe I look like that.

[achappex3 346]

Yes, I know this is shallow... but it broke my heart and now I am completely upset.

One of my two year olds (I have twins) took a picture of me while messing with my phone. It was completely off guard and a picture of me standing sideways... I LOOK HORRIBLE. Absolutely horrible. I'm 22. I have been overweight and this isn't new, but I didn't think I looked that bad. Now all I can do is wonder if this is what the world sees of me? A sloppy extremely fat black girl...

To make matters worse, my family laughed. My mom said "that'll be a great comparison picture," but she laughed first. I know they're all extremely supportive. But that completely made me wonder what they've been thinking, and saying behind my back...

My very last thing before submission, my class, is Wednesday. I have my sleep consultation on the 12th. But was told that it wouldn't put a pause on submission and rather or not I'd be approved (I have a BMI of well over 40...). I am longing for this surgery. Longing for the days I'm able to have these random "off guard" pictures of me taken, and be able to laugh and say "wow!!" I am longing for the days where I won't be the biggest person in the room, heck or the biggest person in the gym. I am completely 110% ready for this surgery and today has confirmed it. There are moments in which I doubt, and try to scare myself into thinking this isn't for me, but it is. I am suffering from addiction.

Addictions make you feel good even when they're horrible for you. I'm not a sweets person, my whole thing was chips... but now I'm ready.

I cannot wait for the next part or this journey.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited October 1, 2016 by achappex3

[Mysticpink74 50]

Yes, I know this is shallow... but it broke my heart and now I am completely upset.

One of my two year olds (I have twins) took a picture of me while messing with my phone. It was completely off guard and a picture of me standing sideways... I LOOK HORRIBLE. Absolutely horrible. I'm 22. I have been overweight and this isn't new, but I didn't think I looked that bad. Now all I can do is wonder if this is what the world sees of me? A sloppy extremely fat black girl...

To make matters worse, my family laughed. My mom said "that'll be a great comparison picture," but she laughed first. I know they're all extremely supportive. But that completely made me wonder what they've been thinking, and saying behind my back...

My very last thing before submission, my class, is Wednesday. I have my sleep consultation on the 12th. But was told that it wouldn't put a pause on submission and rather or not I'd be approved (I have a BMI of well over 40...). I am longing for this surgery. Longing for the days I'm able to have these random "off guard" pictures of me taken, and be able to laugh and say "wow!!" I am longing for the days where I won't be the biggest person in the room, heck or the biggest person in the gym. I am completely 110% ready for this surgery and today has confirmed it. There are moments in which I doubt, and try to scare myself into thinking this isn't for me, but it is. I am suffering from addiction.

Addictions make you feel good even when they're horrible for you. I'm not a sweets person, my whole thing was chips... but now I'm ready.

I cannot wait for the next part or this journey.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I feel ya honey!!! Omg I NEVER see myself as fat as I am...Reality hits when I try on clothes, see myself in pics, or catch a glimpse of myself in a full length mirror or window reflection...my first thought: "Dude...that's me?!!" ... then I get depressed & get even more self conscience & my anxiety kicks in & makes me think everyone is judging me

I AM SOOOOO READY FOR THIS!! Can't wait for them to call me next week w/ my SET SURGERY DATE!!! (Looks to be the beginning of November)....can't wait to shop for clothes that don't look (sorry if this offends anyone!) Granny-fied ...they think all big peeps want big flowers or print or jst UGLY clothing?! .

My main store I wanna hit when I lose weight... PINK!!! Love their glittery cute hoodies!!!

I have never in my life worn a pair of heels...so that's one on my bucket list too!! Can't wait to shop in normal sized clothing!! ????

Sent from m

[achappex3 346]

@@Mysticpink74 I'm with you!!! I am waiting for my date as well. I'm super excited. We can be buddies! Our dates will be around the same time

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[rolosmom7 740]

Yes, I know this is shallow... but it broke my heart and now I am completely upset.

One of my two year olds (I have twins) took a picture of me while messing with my phone. It was completely off guard and a picture of me standing sideways... I LOOK HORRIBLE. Absolutely horrible. I'm 22. I have been overweight and this isn't new, but I didn't think I looked that bad. Now all I can do is wonder if this is what the world sees of me? A sloppy extremely fat black girl...

To make matters worse, my family laughed. My mom said "that'll be a great comparison picture," but she laughed first. I know they're all extremely supportive. But that completely made me wonder what they've been thinking, and saying behind my back...

My very last thing before submission, my class, is Wednesday. I have my sleep consultation on the 12th. But was told that it wouldn't put a pause on submission and rather or not I'd be approved (I have a BMI of well over 40...). I am longing for this surgery. Longing for the days I'm able to have these random "off guard" pictures of me taken, and be able to laugh and say "wow!!" I am longing for the days where I won't be the biggest person in the room, heck or the biggest person in the gym. I am completely 110% ready for this surgery and today has confirmed it. There are moments in which I doubt, and try to scare myself into thinking this isn't for me, but it is. I am suffering from addiction.

Addictions make you feel good even when they're horrible for you. I'm not a sweets person, my whole thing was chips... but now I'm ready.

I cannot wait for the next part or this journey.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

It's not shallow! Don't feel bad about yourself for any reason!!! You have chosen to make this journey, IMHO it's a tough road. Just keep moving forward, and ignore anyone being rude.

❤❤❤

[MaryCatherine 173]

Delete that picture and any copies of it. Take a before picture that is flattering wearing something you feel good in. Everyone has had a lousy picture taken. You don't have to keep it and be reminded of it.

[Mysticpink74 50]

@@Mysticpink74 I'm with you!!! I am waiting for my date as well. I'm super excited. We can be buddies! Our dates will be around the same time

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I'm jst starting a YouTube chnnl & I'm going to take videos as much as I can throughout the process....one: for something to look back on for motivation when I hit "stalls" & two: so others who have many questions can at least see what I'm going through...

I put up a "test video" last night...jst because...but I am going to start documenting my PreOp visits, shopping for things I'll need postop, my actual surgery date (film as much as I can in the hospital), post op (pain & water/food/vitamin intake) etc....

If anyone wants to watch or follow: look for ..."BariatricGirl 4life"... under R&Y intro (I think)... more to come!!

Also have a FB Acct under that name if want to add or follow ????

Sent from m

Edited October 1, 2016 by Mysticpink74

[catwoman7 10,986]

actually, I would keep the thing. I love looking at awful pictures of me from before, and comparing them to the new 200 lbs lighter me. I show some awful ones when I'm talking to pre-op classes. People gasp. People say they'd never know it was the same person. I love it - it reminds me of how very far I've come. I hated those pictures before - but now, even though they're still awful, I love having them as a reminder and as a comparison.

Edited October 1, 2016 by catwoman7

[crazynae1025 42]

I completely feel exactly how you feel! I run from the camera even when im aware its there.

[James Marusek 5,244]

Generally I recommend three things for those that are preparing for surgery.

1. Take a good before photograph of yourself, so that you have something to compare to after surgery. Many times we are blind to our obesity. We do not see ourselves. Therefore when the weight begins to drop off rather dramatically, we question if this is really happening. Photographs are a good visualization of our success. Many people carry a before and after photo with them, just to remind themselves of their success. In my case I was the photographer of the family, so I rarely appeared in photographs. Also the only time I saw myself in the mirror was a straight on shot which doesn't really show the extent of my obesity prior to surgery. So I am attaching my before and [6 month] after photo as an example. I tried to create the same pose, so it was a good one-to-one comparison.

2. Walk 30 minutes each day, every day until surgery (or equivalent exercise). Walking helps the recovery process go smoothly and minimized the pain levels from surgery.

3. Wean yourself from caffeine and carbonated beverages now. After I gave up my 6 diet coke a day habit, I suffered from a week of severe withdrawal syndrome consisting of severe headaches and body aches. I was miserable. You don't want to combine the effects of caffeine withdrawal with the effects of surgery.

[achappex3 346]

Thank you all so much. I plan on taking a ton of pictures, and have been, but having your two year old do it followed by the "woah" she decided was appropriate... was definitely a slap in the face. Lol

But I'm so eager and ready to go! Everything is checked off! I've literally completed everything. I do have a question though...

If my sleep study isn't done until after the 12th (figuring I'll even need one?) would it put a pause on my approval process? My BMI as stated is way beyond 40 and besides that I have nothing else wrong? I'm just worried. I've waited too long and am eager to finally get this done.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Tammyeb 5]

Your last two paragraphs spoke loudly...I feel same and can't wait to not be the fat girl in the room. You see how people look at me and they can say I'm beautiful as I am but I know different.

Keep going girl!

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[KristenLe 5,979]

I cried after seeing my picture taken by my niece (I was holding my newborn great niece)! I look ginormous! I had to ask her to not post it on social media! I keep thinking of that picture through my process!

Sent from my KFFOWI using the BariatricPal App

[lmbazemore 1]

So I have this one photo that was taken by my mother last fall while we were visiting the science museum. I knew I was big, I knew I had a food addiction but I never thought I was THAT big until she sent me the photo that day. She seemed so happy to have captured the moment but all I could see was how big I truly was! It hurt! It broke my heart and yes it makes you wonder. The following week I went to my first seminar about weight lose surgery. That was the beginning of December 2015. I had the sleeve done two weeks ago today and I am down 50 lbs since that seminar. I lost 25 on my own just from meeting with my nutritionist and then 5lbs the week prior to surgery and now 18lbs in the last two weeks. This has not been easy! I'm still struggling even with the results. It's a hard diet but with no wiggle room! You don't get to take a day off. You don't get just a bite and I am not about to lose my hair or have flabby skin because I am not taking my Vitamins or drinking my Water.

Keep that photo! Make you a goal poster and slap that picture right in the middle so everyday you can see and know WHY you did this! Put your kids picture up there too because my three girls are my inspiration. I want to run with them and hike and play games!

Let your life begin and kick food to the curb!