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It absolutely makes NO freaking sense to me... **MY RANT**



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I get it. Sometimes I'm incredulous and other times I manage to look the other way. The latter is more productive for me. It's one thing to waste time on myself, quite another to waste it on a stranger. Yet I know I'll be sucked in again. A favorite are the ones hoping not to be required to lose weight pre-surgery, preferring to keep gorging until the OR. They get major huffy when I write that surgery is a grown-up proposition and losing weight prior announces that one is serious.

Hope you feel better for ranting.

I'm not real good at looking away if you haven't noticed. :mellow:

Why? Because there are SO MANY LURKERS in this forum who are reading, reading, reading and if no one speaks up, they are absorbing bad advice and patronizing warm fuzzy validations.

Am I wasting my time? Absolutely. Am I ever going to win any popularity contests for having strong opinions and a big mouth? Probably not. (And I really don't care. I have real life friends who live outside my computer.) Did I get my fair share of finger shakes', eye rolls and kicks in the pants as I went through this process? YUP. Did I learn from those "meanies"? Without a doubt (and DANG I miss them!!) Was I always happy about it? NO FREAKING WAY. But I listened and ultimately, I earned back my health and a MUCH smaller number on the scale.

Giving myself permission to eat what I wanted against the advice of WWs and Jenny Craig and Atkins and South Beach and my doctor got me to 264 pounds. Clearly I **didn't** know my body best and caving to the head hunger and cravings did some permanent damage to my body that can never be undone.

So if even one person can be reached and jolted back into their new reality of WLS, FABULOUS. That's why I waste my time. ;)

No, they are not absorbing bad advice even if lurking they are reading it all.. I do.. And perhaps some of the snide impatient comments I'll make them not want to pose their question?.. Just a thought.. Not everyone is.. Hmmmm what word.. Self confident n secure as you are? So although it seems like a stupid question to you.. Thy need assurance 1 way or another.. Some people need hand held.. Some of us don't.. If you see a post by 1 of those people you have no patience for.. Then move past it ;)

Munky

If no one opposes the bad advice, it will seemingly be good advice, though, wouldn't you imagine? And please tell me when/where I have ever called someone (or their question) stupid? Nope. You can't because I don't.

I'm not going to pander to anyone and I am not going to change who I am because some people want validation to eat ... let's see, just in the last few days alone ... ice cream, swedish fish, Pasta, noodles and rice just days and weeks post op. Nope. Not going to validate it and I'm not going to just move past it.

Sorry, not sorry.

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​ If you were teaching a class and gave a test, would every student get 100%? People have different levels of intelligence and dedication. Some will be weight loss surgery superstars, some will be total failures, and most will be a degree of average.

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​ If you were teaching a class and gave a test, would every student get 100%? People have different levels of intelligence and dedication. Some will be weight loss surgery superstars, some will be total failures, and most will be a degree of average.

True, but when I was teaching, I didn't want the average grade to be below a C, and I didn't want a large majority of the class to fail. If that happened, then I didn't do my job very well.

I don't think the issue is about people asking questions to gain knowledge. The issue is that they are asking ridiculous questions that anyone that was going to pursue this type of procedure and commit to the lifelong changes they have to make wouldn't be asking.

To re-link this to the grades metaphor, if the people who have recently asked about eating pizza, tacos, ice cream, pork chops, Pasta, rice, candy, etc. a mere days after surgery or the people who have asked about getting hammered during their pre-op diet or right after surgery were the students, then they more than failed this test and their surgeon and his/her staff should re-teach the unit or consider leaving the classroom.

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When I was teaching, I circled wrong test answers in RED (gasp) and offered help finding the solutions. I didn't grade on a curve nor did I tell them their math work was "good enough this time". I also did not tell them that they could ignore all the formulas and just pray their answer would turn out ok, and yes, I absolutely made them show their work.

Why?

Because not only did I want them to pass MY math class, but I wanted them to have an awesome, STRONG foundation on which to base all their math classes to follow.

Weird, right?

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We could go on with this metaphor for days. This board could be (and should be) like intervention when initial instruction didn't take (or students weren't ready for that instruction). It shouldn't be the initial instruction itself, and it shouldn't enable people to keep making the same mistakes or having the same misconceptions over and over again. Sigh.

Very cool you were a math teacher. I started my career in the high school math classroom. :-)

Edited by blizair09

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@@LipstickLady

just saw this similar thread from august 2014

thought i'd repost

is that ok?

or are you going to kick me to the curb :wacko::D

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/315715-why-are-some-weight-loss-surgery-patients-so-clueless/page-15

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Really the only time I give a rats patootie anymore about what someone is eating post op is when they are early out and can actually injure themselves. Yeah, I'm going to say something whether they like it or not just to try to make them understand that bodily injury can occur before they're fully healed.

Otherwise, have at it. Eat whatever you want if it works for you. And if it doesn't, then who am I to tell someone they weren't ready for the surgery? I'm sure they themselves already know.

Me? I was ready. And I'm totally willing to throw a little advice someone's way if they show they are, too. Usually the ones who can take a little constructive criticism, are thirsty for knowledge, don't think they already know it all (because who does?), and open to different advice without getting completely defensive are the ones who are ready for the changes that need to happen with the surgery. They don't want validation, just information.

Is a rat's patootie allowed starting the soft Protein phase? :)

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@@rolosmom7 Is there a reason they made you stop your Celebrex? I'm on Wellbutrin and Zoloft but the surgeon hasn't mentioned getting off or cutting back?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Can't answer for the poster you referenced, but docs aren't going to take you off antidepressants for surgery. Celebrex is an anti inflammatory drug and can impact the lining of the stomach....

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Figured it out gl some of u people act worse then my kids this is why I don't do Facebook and now I'm leaving this site too much drama

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Let's see.......Go visit a prison.......find criminals there...

Visit the "Rants and Raves" section......find drama

Go to a Monks retreat on top of a mountain.........find no one talking.....

Hey, I know where you can go.... ;)

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I appreciate the advice in this forum. I start my pre-op this Sunday. I promised myself that I would only eat a little stuffing. I don't want my surgery to get cancelled. I'm ready to make this change. I have all of you to help me through this journey. I don't deal with the negativity. Scroll pass. I don't deal with the negativity from the few people that I have told including my birth mother. This is a decision I made to get me to healthy.

MsShortyDee

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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